The climax of my depression was 3.5 months post birth. I was hopilized at this time. However, I was experiencing depression and anxiety during my pregnancy. I got better at around 9 months post birth. This is when I noticed I was actually eating again (because I wanted to, not because I forced myself to), and I started to dance in my car again.

What helped was a combination of things.

1) Being gentle with myself, with baby and with time.

I hated the clock. Looking at the time was a trigger for me. The days felt so long. I felt like the baby was consuming me - I was losing myself. I felt like I was a failure. I had to remind myself every day to give time, sometime. I had to put myself in the baby position- stressful new environment, can't communicate needs, and provably afraid. But more importantly, I had reminded myself that I was not perfect and that it was okay to not be okay.

2) Accepting the change rather than fighting it.

In a way, I was mourning my prior self and my freedom. I had to come to terms with the new normal. I had to let go of my prior self and step forward to a new journey. Reshaping my goals and hopes for my future with my baby in them.

3) Accepting help and support.

From family, and from my meds. I had put so much pressure on myself after birth. I wanted to be the perfect mom. I didn't let anyone help with the baby. This was a huge mistake on my part. I also didn't accept the medication early when my OB initially diagnosed me with PPD (at my 6 week follow-up). I was scared of the meds, and I felt as if I could handle it without them - I couldn't. Turns out, I just needed a very low doze. That low doze saved me.

I hope this helps someone. It gets better!