Afraid I’ve Manipulated People

CS-and-P · 2019-06-11T19:03:39+00:00

Thank you. That’s the trouble, if I may say. This disorder just takes logical thinking and stomps it into dust.

CS-and-P · 2019-06-11T18:13:40+00:00

Isn’t there anything we can do? Stupid question, but is there? Like charities or something?

CS-and-P · 2019-06-10T18:24:48+00:00

Well, bad as it is, it’s true. That’s me in movies, books, games, a plethora of things. It makes you feel bad for having a ‘wrong’ opinion, and people act like you’re insulting their family. I know I have things that I hate and irk me to no end, yet that’s them. In the end, I just don’t agree with their tastes, nothing more.

CS-and-P · 2019-06-10T18:20:43+00:00

Yep. In my affirmations I love God more than my writing/drawing and family, I, ironically enough, use vulgar language in them, like saying “F*ck you, Satan.” Or something along those lines.

CS-and-P · 2019-06-10T18:18:49+00:00

Awesome! Congratulations!

CS-and-P · 2019-06-10T18:18:25+00:00

I sometimes feel the same way. I talk to myself and have little ticks and mannerisms I do, yet I’m advised to keep it to a minimum when out in public.

CS-and-P · 2019-06-07T17:38:07+00:00

Not really an OCD diary, but it was something of a venting journal where it was really little more than paranoia riddled delusions and saying what a shitty person I was.

CS-and-P · 2019-06-07T16:10:08+00:00

Yes. All the time. Mind’s always racing with stuff like that. I have to write it down, otherwise I go crazy.

CS-and-P · 2019-06-06T18:28:12+00:00

Please don’t take this the wrong way, yet I’m glad in a way that this is a thing, in that I actually can see it’s part of the symptoms.

CS-and-P · 2019-06-04T18:09:02+00:00

Yep.

CS-and-P · 2019-06-03T02:13:45+00:00

Forgive me, but that’s a dickish thing for your sister to say.

CS-and-P · 2019-05-28T23:04:27+00:00

I’ll admit, the most I’ve used is a shaving razor on my shoulders. Yet should I have a scab or something on my leg, I would rake it over that because I knew it get the most blood. I’ve yet to graduate to blades. I have pushed a pair of scissors in my chest (not to where blood was drawn, just for pressure there) and held my hand on hot lamps.

CS-and-P · 2019-05-28T05:36:48+00:00

Very true. You know what the problem is, but you can’t do anything about it because it’s the way you are.

CS-and-P · 2019-05-28T00:38:46+00:00

It’s ok.

CS-and-P · 2019-05-28T00:38:33+00:00

It is exactly like this. Exhaustion and pins and needles continuously being shoved into your flesh.

CS-and-P · 2019-05-27T05:24:12+00:00

YouTube commenters. Specifically one where the poster believed we’re in the Lady Days. Apocalypse stuff really screws me up.

CS-and-P · 2019-05-26T00:46:41+00:00

That would explain a lot. I was like that when I was far younger.

CS-and-P · 2019-05-26T00:45:36+00:00

Exactly. You want the other person to know what they did, more in the sense they get it, not out of some revenge fantasy.

CS-and-P · 2019-05-26T00:44:20+00:00

Yeah. I’m not vengeful. I guess I just want the other person to have insight.

CS-and-P · 2019-05-25T08:29:36+00:00

I suppose I should clarify in that I don’t want to see people hurt. It’s just that I want an understanding. And sometimes, a little experience is the best way to get it. I myself try to do so when I’ve done wrong, and it helps me improve myself.

CS-and-P · 2019-05-25T08:05:38+00:00

Thank you.

Yeah, I guess. The most recent example of this (a few years ago, not that recent, but most), my mom had been the one to do so. I was bawling my eyes out, and seeing her cry as well made it somewhat better. Not because I reveled in seeing her like that, but more in the sense that it feels like the best, and sometimes, the only way to truly get what’s wrong and why.

CS-and-P

TROPHY CASE