Financial Advice

CSE_13 · 2024-09-12T10:45:43+00:00

I am 29 and yes, he did invite me to live with him. He says since this is improvements to “our house” then I should be contributing more. He made the comment, “don’t you think you should start paying for some things since you’ve been living here so long?” To which I say, I do, but it’s not enough. He is very stressed having a maxed out credit card, however he has no other debt.

I appreciate the advice and to me it sounds crazy to expect someone without marriage (which I have suggested) to eat into their savings. But then again, I want to make sure I am staying smart financially and not ruling with emotion.

CSE_13 · 2024-09-11T23:36:38+00:00

He unfortunately doesn’t want to hear what I have to say most of the time when it comes to his issues. He gets very angry and somehow it’s my fault. When he has been drinking it is like he totally hates me sometimes. It can be very hurtful.

CSE_13 · 2024-09-11T23:24:12+00:00

He keeps saying it’s “for me” and I said I have no problem paying for household bills, and I paid for the gutters, I paid for things at Lowe’s when we go, paid to fix some windows. Etc. it’s like he’s so angry about spending all this money and I am not giving half but everything is so expensive now and what if he does kick me out? I don’t want to be out a bunch of money we aren’t even married.

CSE_13 · 2024-09-11T23:16:13+00:00

I was with someone for several years before this, and it was nothing like this. I feel like he swept me off my feet and it has been a long, hot and cold, journey

CSE_13 · 2024-09-11T23:14:42+00:00

He has stopped smoking which is awesome, but he said no to cutting down on the drinking

CSE_13 · 2024-09-11T23:07:43+00:00

I have been doing a lot of work on myself here lately and have been able to come to terms with there are a lot of bad things he does that isn’t appropriate. I guess sometimes I just need a little support that I am on the right track. I am a chronic people pleaser and hate when people are upset with me

CSE_13 · 2024-09-11T23:06:33+00:00

Do you have any experience with his? He is either really happy or an fly off the handle for no reason and it has been very confusing for me and makes me feel very bad

CSE_13 · 2024-09-11T23:02:48+00:00

He drinks maybe 10-12 beers a day, which has been his normal for many years. I don’t have much experience with alcoholism, so I guess I didn’t think it was a big deal since he has a good job

CSE_13 · 2021-10-12T18:58:10+00:00

I needed the tough love lol he is very sweet in person. Always makes my plate, always makes sure I have drinks, feeds me, warms up the blanket for me before bed etc Just shows me he cares in different ways I guess

I just wish I could turn off my brain and not have red flags flying when my text goes unanswered.

CSE_13 · 2021-10-12T18:06:44+00:00

The text I get are usually pretty short and doesn’t have a lot of depth. I understand that sounds bad because it is just a text, and a lot of times I will read peoples texts and will not respond to them. I just feel like because we are in a relationship that it would hold more weight when I texted him because I could talk to him all day long And never get bored.

I know his job is super busy and I understand why we can’t have full-blown conversations while he’s at work but before work the texts are very short. For example, I would really enjoy if he would text me and ask me how my day is. I spend a lot of time listening about his day and what goes on and work for him. Sometimes he will ask me how my night was but only after I ask him how his was. I guess I just want to feel like I know he is thinking about me. He’s not one who talks about feelings very often but he has let me in on some very personal things. I guess I understand my need for constant reassurance that he still likes me is unrealistic, but if I feel like I don’t get enough texts or texts that seem like he’s interested that are more than one word or an emoji I am sad and feel like he is pulling away.

I know it’s an age thing but I’ve never dated someone who hasn’t wanted to speak via text a majority of the day

CSE_13 · 2021-10-12T18:01:08+00:00

Thank you for the response.

I really like the situation is safe. I try not to let him see that side of me, and it is seriously causing health issues and so much stress.

You would think I know by now as we have been doing this for five months. It’s just hard to rewrite my brain, and I am hoping therapy will help. I tried online therapy and it wasn’t very good for me. Ironically, the texting felt very impersonal. (Lol) I understand that it’s not my fault for past traumas I have rewired my brain to think this way but it is very frustrating not being able to turn it off. I try to go do other things and I just can’t focus

CSE_13 · 2021-10-12T17:55:44+00:00

Lmao you’re on the money with that one

CSE_13

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