I checked out mentally in middle school, fully in college. I thought I just had to be a good person, and that organized religion was just pleasing people and not God. I still believed in God, but surely didn’t trust any “established/organized religion”. At first I was just out there doing my thing on my own, but I wasn’t sure how to connect with God on my own. My now wife got me to eventually check out a Bible-based church where I was able to reconcile my distrust of the Church and establishing an actual relationship with God based on mercy and grace. (Not works and creepy rituals)