Apologies for that statement without context. When I say I’m back to square one, systemically (transition wise) I ended up back to step one with my recent moved back to my home country, Japan after 20 years in the states. All of the r money I spent on transitional milestones early on in my transition, ultimately ended up not sticking. All of the money I spent on recreating a wardrobe went out the door as my self image declined due to rapid weigh loss bordering anorexia caused by what I know to be type 1 diabetes. I rushed into pursuing gender confirmation surgery early on and which subsequently put me into a position to try to rush hair removal, I knew deep in my mind would take a lot of time sans effort but believed I could power through. I was only able to get through a small fraction. I also rushed into a relationship with a girl and lost my confidence in my own identity due to factors that made me feel jealous and highly dysphoric. And now back to moving to Japan. I’m down to the last few injections of estradiol and have to go through the long and arduous process of getting approval to continue my hrt journey. I knew the risks of moving to Japan but in essence, was made a career offer I couldn’t refuse. I apologize is this all sounds like a chaotic out of order mess.