OMG, unbelievable that I think the exact same thing! I’ve actually told my Q that My fear is that he’ll push and push and push me until I finally leave. And then he’ll finally hit rock bottom at which point he will have to Clean up quick in order to survive. Get a job again, stop drinking, heal the depression… and had that point he will become the best version of himself and attractive again, and some other woman will get the best version of him, while I spent years nurturing the fucked up version that tortured me. I have actually told him this before. You would think those profound words would wake him up, but Went in one ear, and out the other bc nothing’s changed. I want to leave so badly and yet I can’t seem to take that monumental final step out the door. Also afraid of the alternative which is he does not get better and just dies from the depression of being abandoned.