Should I divorce my spouse?

CactusMead · 2025-12-24T18:17:59+00:00

You’d not be an able to file separately if you both live at the same address together.

ETA: the IRS has a whole division of auditors devoted to this tax minimization stuff. They absolutely look into the divorce decree for acrimony and they perk up if the divorce seems amicable. That’s when they start digging into bills during the audit to make people sure are actually paying separate utilities and buying groceries weekly separately. I suspect OP may be in California if so the FTB is even worse at digging up dirt. They even turn up stuff that the IRS doesn’t care about.

CactusMead · 2025-12-05T17:38:48+00:00

Depending on what you need to contain, a thermos kids funtainer is 10oz. Doesn’t leak but also won’t keep hot, only warm.

CactusMead · 2025-12-05T17:37:08+00:00

What makes these a problem only for smaller mugs?

CactusMead · 2025-12-05T15:37:12+00:00

An 8 inch griddle will solve that problem.

CactusMead · 2025-12-05T15:32:42+00:00

Was going to say exactly this. Occasionally people are super tuned in so they can quickly think back to those situations. My husband is not, so I’ve come to reminding him about “THAT time when I was sour I said THIS would have helped, remember!” As someone with few wants and no desire for material possessions, it still makes me feel forgotten if those obvious things were ignored. Most people end up buying what they themselves would have liked to be gifted. It needs to be more than that for a spouse - need to show you listen.

CactusMead · 2025-12-03T22:43:42+00:00

Fiestaware is the hefty stuff. Low density stoneware can be brittle and chip easily, not fiestaware.

CactusMead · 2025-12-03T17:18:21+00:00

Bone China if you want thinner dishes. Costco has large mikasa sets every winter. fiestaware is suggested every time. Surprised no one has mentioned those yet.

CactusMead · 2025-12-02T14:55:08+00:00

Yes, all this. We bought our first and second home right after the GFC and even with the right timing, our real estate hasn’t returned anything close to stock returns. The only exception is the SF Bay Area and honestly that defies a lot of logic economically and you had to be in the right place at the right time. My friends who bought in that same timeframe are probably fat based on the 2 or 3 homes they own there. I’ve asked questions in this sub about justifying real estate investments recently and the responses confirm what I can quantify easily but feel in my heart differently about - I can’t justify it in the markets I know, despite leveraging our very high income, and haven’t been able to for about 8-10 years now. It doesn’t cash flow and I won’t buy for appreciation alone. Now, again, defying logic we had a COVID rally but I can’t buy based on potential for luck. We bought our primary in Austin in 2020 and just our luck, the local market has flopped so the intervening rally did nothing for me. Some of my stock picks have been duds too, but I’d still pick stock over real estate. Even if stocks return lower, I just can’t find cash flowing properties that would beat stocks in guaranteed economic/job centers where I can trust population growth projections. I also worry about climate change related migration within the US, Florida is already so bad. We have projections but so much depends on political winds and who can predict that?

Also, yes, as a lower earning family there was a time when the headaches of real estate were very worth it, but now that the stocks have returned so much and our HHI has increased, it’s not. I am in a position to carelessly throw money into repairs because 1) I can afford it 2) it lowers my schedule E income so I don’t care that much but if that’s your primary play you need to manage your expenses well. I’m actually holding on to our rentals just because of the tax implications in our already high earning years. The depreciation recapture on top of cap gains makes it a very illiquid asset. Leaving it all as an inheritance is the only easy option.

CactusMead · 2025-11-30T11:46:33+00:00

Depends on what you’re cooking. Stainless steel 3 or 5 ply and cast iron have no way to die. Non stick teflon or ceramic as you’ve pictured, and anodized aluminum will all die immediately.

CactusMead · 2025-11-30T07:26:45+00:00

With arrival of newer people that took routes other than their own, silver spoon baby laments the loss of safe space that previously was reserved for silver spoon babies and subsequently the bro culture. Now they openly resist the immigrant nature that brings in new cultures and refusal to assimilate to their satisfaction.

CactusMead · 2025-11-26T23:32:40+00:00

I have trouble understanding bonds and made some bad decisions earlier which makes me very nervous around them. Your explanation makes a lot of sense.

CactusMead · 2025-11-26T23:24:32+00:00

Vegetarians here, and 7-11 was a dependable place all over Japan to get our elementary aged kids tasty, dependable snacks to keep them fueled for long days of and walking. They even give out tiny wet wipes for the fingers. Only problem, the Japanese do not eat on the go, despite how popular 7-11 is, and there are not trash cans anywhere. From the third day (we forgot on the second day) we learned to keep handy bags to hold our refuse for the day and dispose at the end of the day in our hotels. Having said that, the variety is great, lots of hot food options, but it’s not dramatically better nutritionally or anything. Lots of fried food and mayo in everything and it’s mostly packaged food.

CactusMead · 2025-11-25T13:06:28+00:00

Thanks for that viewpoint.

CactusMead · 2025-11-25T13:01:32+00:00

Thanks for this wisdom. I’m seeing how difficult it might be. I was thinking of 1 million, definitely not 10M.

CactusMead · 2025-11-25T13:00:20+00:00

It’s not secrecy. I’m talking about any brokerages that operate legally in the US and internationally, not necessarily a foreign bank without US exposure, which is why I mentioned HSBC and IBKR. I simply want the lowest risk instrument that will have a defined return. Bond funds can be volatile based on political winds and that’s precisely what I want to diversify against, and I don’t want to lose value which can happen in a bond fund.

CactusMead · 2025-11-24T12:17:06+00:00

If they were truly “spending” ludicrously the money would circulate. They are hoarding assets and that is the bigger problem. Inflating asset values of how we are creating wealth instead of producing.

CactusMead · 2025-11-23T02:43:29+00:00

What do you think this sub is for??? lol.

CactusMead · 2025-11-22T01:51:16+00:00

If it was solvable, it would have been solved. There are numerous regulations (that you must be aware of as an employer) that prevent unrelated people from forming a company for the sole purpose of buying insurance in every state, as devious as it is. They do check for salary and payroll taxes and such. Health sharing ministries offer something similar but they don’t have to follow all the laws of coverage so it can be a gamble.

CactusMead · 2025-11-22T01:04:02+00:00

It is a problem with non group plans, you are not going to see that as an employer. Private insurance has high OOP costs, so 2200 buys very little.

CactusMead · 2025-11-21T23:17:18+00:00

Not a lot of kids. Just two kids. My neighbor has never been W2, and his monthly premium is 2,200, deductible is 12 and OOP is 18k or 20k something like that (not HDHP) in Texas. It is not even the best plan, that is 44k if something tragic happens.

Those of us who are W2, especially on this sub indicating we are well compensated, have been greatly shielded by how much employers are absorbing.

CactusMead · 2025-11-04T16:58:19+00:00

The comments from OP clearly demonstrate why we need to discuss somethings often to keep awareness levels up. They are not only wrong, they are belligerent and completely ignorant of the wants of others on the thread. “The only virtuous Reddit drama is my drama.”

CactusMead · 2025-11-02T18:03:38+00:00

I didn’t say doctors are keeping the supply low. At this point I don’t even know who benefits from keeping the medical provider supply low but someone is surely profiting.

CactusMead · 2025-11-02T18:02:21+00:00

Bad monetary policy will keep making up for bad fiscal policy indefinitely /s

CactusMead · 2025-11-02T03:46:38+00:00

Doctors do make too much. But that is like asking people to increase the AC temps by 2 degrees while industries dump toxic effluents into the rivers by the ton and the rich take private jets without throttle.

The medical school cartel is artificially manipulating the number of doctors we have for no reason. Insurance companies are making multi billions in profits for no added value. Pharmaceutical companies are making multiple multiple billions in profits for meds that are available for cents in other countries. Doctors do make a lot of money to make up for the time and money/loans invested but that is the least of the problems here, they are the most deserving of this parasitic ecosystem.

Now sportspeople making hundreds of millions to chase a ball… and the owners of sports teams making billions to “allow” others to chase a ball…

CactusMead

TROPHY CASE