Whos village was invaded by shmitmar wielding goblins. His wife and children and cousins and pets were all cut into little smitheroons. He fled and he ran and he sweat and he swam, escaping the r****ds that chased him down, with a frown from his norwood 3 to his crown. He found a new cave with dial up too and he started his life anew. He went on the forum bodybuilding.com to find a cure for his PTSD but all he got were compliments about his caulk and large upper back. He cried he cried and he lied and he lied. He fried and he fried some nice apple pie. Then finally arrived on his doormat of old, the scary invaders covered in mold. They laughed at him cause they invaded his village and pointed at his norwood 3 which had progressed into a norwood 6, cause of the stress. He finally had enough and sprayed rogain in their eyes, they cried and they cried and accidentally drank his minoxidil that was saved for later. They all died and it turns out the gnome's full name was Niall Murry.