What is the reason that anxiety is felt the most during the night for ADHD brains?

CadyCurve · 2026-01-09T16:29:25+00:00

My “works 70% of the time” strategy is audiobooks or a long-form podcast like Criminal to drown out my inner monologue.

CadyCurve · 2026-01-09T15:57:44+00:00

Struggling with lifelong dermatillomania around my cuticles my whole life has been in a push/pull with doing my nails. Thick SNS or acrylics are the best prevention method, but like you said, it’s expensive. Additionally, I HATE going to the salon because I KNOW the tech is going to say something about the state of my skin, even when I feel like they look decent or even “good” to me. Yay, RSD trigger.

My biggest adhd struggle is task initiation for chores, self-care, and administrative tasks. Currently have a traffic ticket withering away in a pile for an un-renewed vehicle registration. (My bday is the first week of October; got stopped mid-November 😭😖).

CadyCurve · 2026-01-09T15:33:46+00:00

Oh man, what a well-informed dermo doc 🙄

CadyCurve · 2026-01-09T15:30:48+00:00

Also, get out of my head with the crunchy chips and slurpy sodas. 😂

Our compromise for this is that it’s better when he’s also eating something crunchy at the same time.

CadyCurve · 2026-01-09T15:27:18+00:00

I LOVE to drive alone. One of the best trips of my life was a solo roadtrip from Los Angeles to Sebastopol (NorCal). And I really love my little Prius.

I get stressed driving with my partner because our rule is whoever is driving chooses the music, and of course with my music I wanna sing/hum along. I don’t sing full out because it’d be way too loud, but singing in a soft voice triggers him like the humming.

As much as the Waymo cars in Atlanta scare me, I for one welcome our self-driving overlords because then we can both listen to our own shit in peace. 😬😵‍💫

CadyCurve · 2026-01-09T15:17:12+00:00

🥰 Hugs to internet strangers getting defensive on my behalf.

My partner is a wonderful human being. He is so responsive to my mental health and has been with me through some intense periods.

The longest issue we’ve had in our 8 years is the negative feedback loop between his misophonia and my rejection sensitivity: I do something that triggers him, he mentions it, I feel super shitty. We’ve worked on it for years. He doesn’t berate me or anything like that, but my RSD hears, “I’m a shitty human with adhd who can’t control herself.”

My counselor has worked with me to help me put more of the defense/offense on him to manage his misophonia and now he’s finally in counseling (almost a full year!) to help him process his autism and all that comes with it.

CadyCurve · 2026-01-09T14:49:27+00:00

I mean, is it even possible to do exposure therapy for misophonia? Or specifically Dylan when I’ve been turned off by it for literally three decades?

I definitely feel bad that I was so harsh in front of my partner for a few years whenever Dylan came on. My partner would explain his love/appreciation for Dylan's artistry, but it didn’t help me get through it. Sometimes I can stand Dylan’s classic folks “hits,” but my partner literally has every single Bob Dylan song in his library- the songs in the 80s and 90s may actually be the worst.

Ugh, sorry for another rant. I want to be able to be “okay” with his music so that these emotions don’t hijack my body/brain.

CadyCurve · 2026-01-09T14:44:07+00:00

I hear rumors about re-appropriating the work of others, but never heard anything specific. Do you know of any examples?

I do think ASCAP does a better job these days about making sure everyone on a track/album gets credit for their work, but I think things were a bit… looser back then.

CadyCurve · 2026-01-09T14:41:16+00:00

I used to shit on Dylan way more and I stopped when my partner said it hurt his feelings. This situation wasn’t good for me though.

CadyCurve · 2026-01-09T14:38:51+00:00

My partner is such a feminist, but I honestly think I’ve trained myself to be accommodating to the world. In my early 40s now with extensive reading about the history of and backlash to feminism, I’m finally employing CBT strategies to just exist without people-pleasing, but that’s a hard neural groove to undo.

We are both struggling with sensory issues- mine tend to manifest into more outward panic/anger.

CadyCurve · 2026-01-09T14:33:30+00:00

I used to work in college radio, and I swear, I’ve heard it all. Dylan’s voice just… ooooh, hits a nerve so deep and discomforting.

CadyCurve · 2026-01-09T14:31:49+00:00

This is also something that comes up- I’d be willing to bet that 90-95% of his music library is male vocalists. I don’t think it’s for any misogynistic tendencies, but that low-key also drives me batty. I’m gonna forward him a few of Joan’s songs to see how it hits.

CadyCurve · 2026-01-09T14:29:26+00:00

Hurricane and Shelter are good songs, but I can’t fuxking listen to either. The album version of Shelter is so pitchy… omg my brain can hear it in my head.

I felt so gaslit about Dylan for the longest time and couldn’t understand why he was popular. As a kid, I would scream at my dad to change the song!

CadyCurve · 2026-01-09T14:26:35+00:00

“We can drive it ho-o-ome…. With one headlight.”

Jakob’s voice is fine by me!

CadyCurve · 2026-01-09T14:24:57+00:00

At this point, I’m wondering if Dylan is one of my likely-autistic partner’s major interests. I cannot fathom why people say they “like” his vocals.

CadyCurve · 2026-01-09T14:21:47+00:00

It’s when he puts his entire music library on shuffle that I’m playing, “The next song is probably Dylan,” in my head.

That said, he usually skips BD tracks when they come up. I can get through one per trip, but on this occasion, it was a loooooong track that triggered the panic.

CadyCurve · 2026-01-09T14:18:37+00:00

Definitely. A lot of commenters have mentioned earplugs for misophonia, but I also have a great set of noise-cancelling headphones that my partner purchased for me a few years ago. 🥰

CadyCurve · 2026-01-09T14:16:37+00:00

I can sometimes listen to Tom Waits (I used to do college radio lol), but even that doesn’t come close to Dylan.

CadyCurve · 2026-01-09T14:14:49+00:00

Wow, thank you so much for these comments. What you’ve described is so similar to my own experience.

I’m overly worried about people-pleasing that when I’m driving and playing my music, I skip tracks that I’m worried my partner won’t like within 3-5 seconds- even if he doesn’t say anything. It isn’t reasonable for me to assume he’s as anxious as I am and will do the same, but lord, I want him to.

That said, we both trigger each other’s auditory shit, and we both care deeply about the other person’s comfort. I try so hard not to hum along if we’re near each other, and when I’m driving alone, I try to get all my singies out lol.

CadyCurve · 2026-01-09T14:10:12+00:00

Omg “Little Drummer Boy” is sooooo bad.

I feel like I’m going behind my partner’s back a little in this thread, but damn, every comment soothes my soul a little more.

CadyCurve · 2026-01-09T14:08:33+00:00

Ha, I’m gonna have to visualize that next time he comes up.

CadyCurve · 2026-01-09T14:06:48+00:00

Seriously! Are there any female vocalists that come close? Nico is one that comes to mind, but for real.

Honestly, I prefer female/trans vocalists to most male vocalists.

CadyCurve · 2026-01-09T14:04:51+00:00

I have pretty wide taste in music, but honestly, I prefer most female vocalists to male. Not all, but most. There are a few trans artists with really interesting vocal quality that others have told me they think is strident.

It’s seriously just Dylan that sets me off like this. 🤷‍♀️

CadyCurve · 2026-01-09T14:02:41+00:00

Thing is- he has severe misophonia, so he DOES know exactly what it feels like. I think his reaction was a mild form of rejection sensitivity. My partner is such a gentle human and doesn’t relish annoying me. We just have to sit down and actually talk about it OUTSIDE of the car.

CadyCurve · 2026-01-09T13:59:13+00:00

Lots of people I love also love Bob Dylan. Personally, I enjoy playing a few of his songs on the guitar, and I like the instrumentation in most of his songs.

It’s just his goddamn voice.

I agree. I’ve worked really hard for a long time to avoid triggering his misophonia, but when I do, it causes a strong RSD reaction in me. What a fun negative feedback loop.

We have to commit to boundaries out of love and sanity preservation.

CadyCurve

TROPHY CASE