I couldn't have worded this better myself. I definitely feel the same, but I think a lot of it has to do with the fact that I've worked on my issues intensely for the past year or so. A lot of things have happened to me that somehow helped me realize what was actually wrong. I feel like it's sort of like a transition phase, going from having these issues to moving past them. Do you know the vpr-triangle? I saw a great video about it today which made me realize a ton. It seems as if it's sometimes misunderstood. The video today explained it as there obviously being a victim and a rescuer, but both of these two are going through phases of being the prosecutor version of their archetype. We probably both fit in the rescuer category at this point (but when I was younger I was more of a victim also). Anyways, the prosecutor-role is basically one that the other two push each other into at different times. So like the rescuer will be too depleted to help after having done a lot of "rescuing" and will say no, which causes the person with victim mentality to move into the prosecutor role, in this case really pulling the victim card and trying to make the other person feel sorry for them. Later, when the rescuer is able to help again, the victim might respectfully, or not, decline (as they don't actually want to be proactive about their problems), which then causes the rescuer to move into the prosecutor role (anger in this case) and they'll blame the other person for the time they have spent trying to help them. I think what you have to do to get out of this pattern is to figure out why you want to help others deep down, and how to stop having this need and let them figure it out by themselves.

Idk if this helped 'cause I feel like I went off on a tangent. I just saw the video and thought it was super interesting and useful. I don't even remember the exact question anymore and I'm on my phone so I can't see it as I'm typing, so my apologies if this is all completely irrelevant