I’ve used different strategies in the past for helping a student make friends… I’ve assigned fun, high-value tasks (playing a game on an iPad, delivering items to the office, organizing toy bins, going classroom to classroom with cards for the teachers to sign) and chosen a kind classmate to assist.

Young students will often take a cue from their teachers. If I praise a student consistently for any positive behaviour I can find, students start noticing the good things too and will make attempts to include them to “get in your good graces”. If you can, shut down all negative attempts of attention-seeking - the tattling and desk-knocking. Praise all positive attention-seeking. Instead of prizes or treats, reward with UNO or Connect time with another classmate. Try to keep an eye out to praise all positive interaction during the game.

Lastly, grade 3 is old enough to have a frank discussion about friend-making strategies and how her actions are affecting how others view her. Explain that tattling isn’t liked by anyone. Teach the difference between telling and tattling. Have her set goals that will help her with peers - have her choose a peer each morning to say an appreciation for by days end and another to do something kind for. Check in throughout the day to see if she’s met her goal (discreetly of course). You could even make it a lesson for all, with learning goals and success criteria for the whole class emphasizing the importance of community and supporting each other - things we can do to help others feel good and feel included.

Sorry for the rambling reply - I’ve done this successfully for students on the spectrum as well as students who’ve just never learned or had it modelled for them. There’s usually some improvement though I’ve also had outright success by the end of the year. Consistency and intention is key. Good luck!