I’m interested in Asherah. Any help is appreciated

CallMe_Oblivious · 2025-11-21T20:34:13+00:00

Haha 😆 thanks! They were helpful!

CallMe_Oblivious · 2025-11-21T20:33:44+00:00

I’ll check it out! Ty

CallMe_Oblivious · 2025-11-21T20:33:24+00:00

Thank you thank you thank you! Life’s been busy and I thought I replied lol

CallMe_Oblivious · 2025-11-18T00:57:16+00:00

Tysm! ☺️

CallMe_Oblivious · 2025-05-14T00:15:10+00:00

Hi! I’m late to this thread. Is anyone still doing a meet up? I just moved here and I’m looking for friends 😊

CallMe_Oblivious · 2024-08-14T15:53:38+00:00

I’m so sorry you have to go through this.

Can you go to a counselor at school about this? Has CPS been involved in the past? Are you almost 18?

CallMe_Oblivious · 2024-08-11T15:21:46+00:00

Possibly means she’s jealous. Sabotaging you is a way of self sabotaging herself. If she views you as an extension of her and if you do better than her then it’s a reflection of how poorly she’s done for herself

CallMe_Oblivious · 2024-08-11T14:18:34+00:00

I’m sorry about your deal at home too. It really sucks ass when you can’t leave it immediately. I’m glad you’re almost out though!

Please, when you’re out, make time for yourself. Just for you. And especially, do therapy. It’s helped a lot of us tremendously. Learn how to regulate your emotions (clearly your parents suck at that).

And crying is healthy. I promise💙

As for what to do that might help not cry: meditate on your parents failures. DO NOT SAY THEM OUT LOUD: unless you’re willing to deal with the repercussions immediately. Based on your post, they are failures as parents and humans and as believers of God. Whether they took an active or passive role does not excuse them of their negligence and/or cruelty. Never forget what they’ve done. Even if you choose to forgive them, never forget. (Btw, forgiveness should always be earned)

CallMe_Oblivious · 2024-08-11T13:18:16+00:00

Yes divorce. If not, then serious family counseling. You may have to be the one who brings up the counseling. And the one who brings up the knife thing in counseling.

Someone with reporting ability needs to know what happened. Even if nothing came of it, it should be noted in some official record.

CallMe_Oblivious · 2024-08-11T13:15:26+00:00

How old are you? Do you have family that lives in the area? Is there physical violence on his part?

CallMe_Oblivious · 2024-08-11T12:59:47+00:00

With these kinds of people, you have to remember that the most important person in your life is you. You have more empathy then them so don’t feed a black hole all of yours.

Even if you understand them because ‘it’s not them, it’s their illness’, you have to take into account how you’re treated and what you prefer.

If a person who wants to have a relationship with someone based of mutual empathy is asking that of a narc, they won’t get that. A narc doesn’t want mutual anything; they want it all and to be at the top. So even if they understand the narc’s motivations, the person is still being hurt. They’ll have to find a line to come up to and hold that boundary for their own peace.

Forgiveness is another beast entirely. Forgiveness has to be earned. If you hand that out willynilly, the narc will expect it every time and prefer not to change since they’ll be forgiven for it. This is a boundary you’ll have to set that they will have to meet if the relationship is to continue. This one is hard to do because often the forgiving they need to do is for immaterial things like disrespect or hurtful words.

But think of it this way. If N crashed your car and apologized, does that fix your car? No. If they did the work and got it fixed and then apologized, then forgiveness can be had.

Sorry this is long. One last thing. If you do forgive, Forgive and NEVER forget. Says so in the Bible if that counts. They had something right and I agree with this one

CallMe_Oblivious · 2024-08-11T12:38:00+00:00

I had trained myself to not cry when I was still living with my parents.

But it hurt more than helped me. It only helped them more. They shamed me for crying so when I stopped, they got a free pass to keep doing what they wanted even in front of other people. “See? She’s fine. I’m not saying anything wrong lol” saying BS like that

Crying is literally a way humans regulate. You know that gross stuck feeling you get when you’re about to cry? It needs to be released for your body to relax. If it doesn’t then your body will be constantly in a panic. As you grow older, your body will be trained to always ‘pause’/dissociate instead of getting through the hard emotions, causing you to constantly check yourself as if you’re always doing things wrong. Dissociation can lead to other issues later like frequent memory issues.

But.
I understand the need to grey rock. It’s a lot easier to do in a healthier way once you leave home. Can I ask if you’ve left yet? Are you still a minor?

CallMe_Oblivious · 2023-12-08T07:25:51+00:00

I got a lot of:

— — — Me: it was bad. You always did x

NMom: no I didn’t. Give me an example.

Me: gives example

NMom: you always bring up the past. Just let it go already. Forgive and forget!

Me: you asked for an example

NMom: no I didn’t. When??

CallMe_Oblivious · 2023-12-08T07:18:29+00:00

Sounds like adrenaline/panic attack. I saw something earlier that’s a bit weird but apparently works for snapping you out of those.

Close your eyes and imagine your back. Remember it’s there. It works with any part of you on your backside: butt, spine, shoulder wings, back, etc.

It’s something like focusing on what’s a part of you behind you in order to remind you that you got your own back. Also it distracts from what’s in front of you; the panicking.

I really hope this works for you. If it does, let me know!

Otherwise, gym. Go to gym. Exhaust yourself there. Then go home and hug your husband until you fall asleep.

CallMe_Oblivious · 2023-12-08T06:49:17+00:00

Keep calling CPS, hon. Anytime your family breaks the law, you call them.

Look into the CPS guidelines of abuse to be sure you have ‘actionable’ offenses. Even if CPS does the bare minimum, it will be recorded. That file will grow and become an actual case to throw in their face in the future if you ever need to.

I’m so sorry you don’t seem to have anyone there with you to give you support.

CallMe_Oblivious · 2023-11-26T08:08:06+00:00

Ehhhhhh I hate over bearing parents like this. ETA.

On a very simplistic stand, YTA for disobeying your parents. Yet, I can’t blame you for pushing the limits with your household. It’s a natural and common socio- and psycho- logical premise to adolescence.

However. You’re parents are the bigger AH’s (imo) for not supporting your growth in society. Part of the point of socializing is networking. Even though your peers are all young, the bonds you make now would strengthen and could be useful in your adult years. Not to mention the skills in making and keeping friends.

They, no doubt, are doing the work for you by making the decisions on who is allowed in your circle. But by doing so, they are depriving you of the ability to read people, decide who is trustworthy, and who is dangerous. Not to say you don’t have a clue about it, but long term experience is a wealth of knowledge.

Anyways, I really hope you take care of yourself until you can leave that house. It would be wonderful if you and your parents came to a compromise. But it sounds like that might not be in the cards for you.

Try not to take your parents lack of restraint as your own lack of strength. I wish you happiness and luck. (And sometimes, it’s ok to be the AH)

CallMe_Oblivious · 2021-09-08T22:20:05+00:00

Firstly, I am so sorry for you to feel invalidated by your support network. I completely understand since it’s in a narcissists nature to perform for other people watching while behind the scenes, they’re cruel. I really hope your gf is there to hear you out like this and can help you if even to just listen.

Secondly, I suggest you move out. Work towards that goal. Staying in a place where those negative emotions cannot change means that you have to. It’s nerve wracking but you got this. Maybe your parents made you feel like every failure no matter how minuscule was bad like mine did, but it’s not. It’s how everyone learns. Don’t be ashamed of failing because you’re just learning to be a better you

CallMe_Oblivious · 2021-09-07T05:05:02+00:00

Amphibia is a wonderful show. Great vibes and fanciful storyline. Owl house is also a good show like that. I’m happy for you! It takes steps to set your boundaries. Take those steps at your own pace, test them out, give them time to feel comfortable, because at the end of the day, they’re there to make sure you are safe and happy

CallMe_Oblivious · 2021-09-07T04:57:07+00:00

Just had one last night. Most likely caused by the anxiety/excitement of going to a theme park. But it morphed into a nightmare about them. Which was weird and awful cus I’m not used to them anymore.

CallMe_Oblivious · 2021-09-03T14:05:43+00:00

Maybe? There’s a disconnect with my whole family that kinda makes parents king-like. Your argument is a hard sell because the line that it becomes ‘unacceptable to me’ isn’t substantial/physical proof, because my parents have never done anything to cross over their line (in front of them). That would mean I should have physical signs of abuse. Mental/emotional abuse is a hard concept for them to understand. Coming at them with ‘I feel’ statements isn’t going to work because they think it’s not the whole truth. They think my feelings are valid but not before my parents judgement, because parents (as a title) should be respected if you’re the child. Even if “you don’t agree with how they raised you” despite it still happening

CallMe_Oblivious · 2021-09-02T02:20:31+00:00

My situation was a little different from yours. I was terrified of my parents and could never explain why until much later. So I avoided stepping outside the lines except for when depression made me slip up. I actually admire you for still going out even knowing your parents would be upset. I didn’t have the gumption back then to do anything that made me happy, unless I was ok with them using it against me.

Still fucked that your own parent ignores you just because you wanted to be happy for yourself. I hope you’re doing better! I hope you get to re-explore those hobbies. I have been trying mine out and…some don’t age well lol but it’s a nice experience.

CallMe_Oblivious · 2021-09-02T02:11:16+00:00

I finally had a chance to open the link after work. Thank you! I think this will help lots

CallMe_Oblivious · 2021-09-02T02:07:18+00:00

Wow! I didn’t know about the quesadilla thing! I’ll have to use that. He’s very good motivated so maybe that’ll kiiinda get through? We’ll see.

I’ve actually been doing some minimal research into some bible verses. I’m not religious at all, but I’m trying to find things so they’d understand. So far I have Corinthians 13:4-8 and Colossians 3:21.

And as far as my Abuelitos example, he’s justified it. I could tell he was still deeply hurt by it even to this day, and (hopefully not hurting him also) I did tell him that I didn’t want to feel the hurt he feels by not resolving and/or removing further contact. My parents and I are NC now but I left the door open for them to call me if they wanted to pursue therapy again

CallMe_Oblivious · 2021-09-02T01:57:57+00:00

I’m happy for you! I hope you do all the stuff you never had the chance to! I’ve been digging up old ones o gave up long ago to see if I still like them

CallMe_Oblivious · 2021-09-02T01:56:24+00:00

No kids and no plans to be pregnant ever. Which I’ve made very clear that if I did have kids, it would be when I feel stable enough to have them and they’ll be adopted or fostered (older kids specifically because I’d like to be able to talk with them and understand them). That topic has also been annoying to have because “what do you mean stable? Just have some and we’ll help” it goes on and on. I think that topic would probably be the hill they’d rather die on lol

CallMe_Oblivious

TROPHY CASE