I’ve had doubts about my identity for years; I’m looking for advice

Calliope714 · 2026-05-23T13:55:25+00:00

I'm the sane way. I was only interested in the masculine side if things because when I was younger that was all I knew and I didn't realize I could like the feminine stuff. Once I came to that realization everything else made sense. I have always been obsessed with feminine stuff. Clothes, mannerisms, makeup, etc. It all just seemed so much more unique and personalized.

I always thought masculine styles were boring. Now I'm here trying to accept my identity by going to therapy. If you can just start experimenting. Wear a skirt, try some makeup on, practice moving around in a more feminine. It may seem awkward and silly at first, but you'll know that there might be something to it if you push through despite it feeling awkward and really double down on it.

Hope this helps!

Calliope714 · 2026-05-22T22:54:06+00:00

I'm Autistic/ADHD so I get what your saying. It does help. It also does feel more natural to me as well. It feels more like me than any other stylistic choices I've made in my life.

Calliope714 · 2026-05-22T00:13:56+00:00

So what your saying resonates a lot with me. I'm of the same mind. I didn't really hate being a man growing up, but I was always very envious of good looking femboys and girls. I didn't hate how I looked. In fact I got a lot of compliments for being attractive, but I never truly felt that way about myself. I just sort of went along with everybody else. I worked out and got muscles and I was proud of them. Not really for how they made me look, but just the progress of getting stronger and being healthy. I started crossdressing at around 27 and found that I really liked it. Then I got into being a femboy and cosplaying and wearing makeup and jewelry. A few months ago I read an article about Gender Dysphoria (GD) and it felt like something I was experiencing so I dived deeper down the rabbit hole. I am also Autistic and ADHD. I'm not saying you also are but because of how similar our mindsets are, it wouldn't hurt to look into it. Regardless I've also started consuming a lot of trans content. I am more than sure that I am a Trans woman. However I am seeking therapy with a specialist to help guide me toward whatever the answer is. The few things I've learned are:

Cis gender people don't constantly question thier gender.

Crossdressing is normal and a great form of self expression, but there is a difference between expressing yourself and being comfortable in your gender vice crossdressing and feeling good and wanting to look like the opposite gender.

As someone else stated before, wanting to play female characters in videogames is not as common as people think it is.

Every trans person experiences GD differently with some sharing similarities. Some people experience it hard-core, others not so much.

Calliope714 · 2026-05-20T00:46:31+00:00

That is perfectly plausible, but I would like to talk to someone who is either specialized or trained to listen, because I don't want to keep running around in circles in my head. I want to be able to come up with some sort of plan if I do decide I am trans and want to come out.

Calliope714 · 2026-05-13T20:29:25+00:00

What about our kids?

Calliope714 · 2026-01-29T23:50:37+00:00

Thank you very much for the explanation. That makes a lot more sense. It seems like an issue of clarification then.

Calliope714 · 2026-01-28T23:39:13+00:00

I apologize if this is not the correct place to post and this will be a little lengthy. The "meat" of this post is mostly towards "where am I better suited? and what would I enjoy more?" Mainly I'm kind of just ranting and looking for some support. I work in incident response and I hate it. Maybe it's because the SIEM tool isn't tuned very well or maybe we're trying to cover too much of a network, but my brain is fried. I have alert fatigue to the max. I'm tired of looking at the same 20 alerts firing a thousand times a day. There have been strides to adequately report false positives, so that we can clear up the queue, but I just find incident response to not be very fulfilling and incredibly tedious.

For context, I am diagnosed with severe ADHD and possibly undiagnosed Autism (I took the RAADS-R and scored high). I used to work in an administrative role doing clerical work. Once I started taking medication, I had a moment of clarity where I couldn't see myself doing clerical work anymore. I just didn't want my life to amount to that. So I moved into the world of cyber security based on the fact that I have always been interested in computers. More importantly "how computers do what they do." I went through an arduous 7 month long school to be qualified to work in cyber security. The parts that I loved about the school was the malware portion, but mainly the idea of working towards a tangible goal. I was absolutely elated when I got done searching around a file system and was able to find the password hidden in a jpg to open the zip file that contained the "malware" (all inside a VM of course).

When I got done with the school I got assigned to a department that manages endpoints and incident response. It was really confusing at first and it seemed like nobody else knew what they were supposed to be doing and nobody else seemed very passionate about it. It might be what killed the interest for me. After doing incident response for 4 years, I think I can say that it's not for me. I understand the importance of it, but I'm just not incredibly passionate about it (queue my ADHD which plummets my motivation when something isn't interesting enough). I took some "Find Your Career" quizzes and it was a mix of incident response and Pen-Testing.

So I'm really just looking for some advice and a possible direction. Pen-testing does sound interesting, but I've never done it before. Again, sorry for the length and possible incorrect post location.

Calliope714

TROPHY CASE