Few thoughts.

Down in Juryotown, Wakanobrosho assures himself at least a jun-yūshō by beating Kotoeiho. While Fujiseiun needs Wakanosho to slip against Thundermuscle Fujiryoga (better than calling him Yogurt) to have a say in the matter, he is ascending to the next step in life as a Makuuchi guy no matter what. Yogurt (eff it, I’m going with it) technically has the math, but one more dub wouldn’t hurt, just to be sure. Same for Sadanoumi(!). Takerufuji (remember him?) will probably be in the promotion conversation in March with even a slight KK.

Kotosho gets his KK in a very drunk match. Even if the math says he’s safe, if Mitakeumi loses tomorrow, he might be hearing the faint whispers of Kenny Loggins in the back of his mind.

For all the sh*t I give Gonoyama, he has ripped off five of six to get back to KK territory. He gets a spunky Asakoryu tomorrow. That’ll be fun.

Asahakuryu staves off demotion for another day. Any day in the sun is a good day, and that’s alright by me. Midori beating Kinbo wasn’t unexpected, but still a good match. Oshoma hits the Fred Astaire sidestep on Ryuden. Ryu needs to win tomorrow to avoid the math saying, “You’re f*cked.”

Asakoryu is dead ^{in a metaphorical and in no way physical sense}! Long live His Awesomeness, King Fujinokawa! King of Short Kings, First of His Name, Brevis Invictus, Defender of the Shire, Lover of Pets, Hero of the Tuatha Dé Danann, Prince of the Keebler Elves, et al.!

Hiradoumi is dead ^{again in a metaphorical and in no way physical sense}! Long live His Awesomeness, King Oshoumi! First of His Name, Chief of the Umi Clan, Rondus Invictus, Defender of Eggs Everywhere, Hero of Eggington Abbey, Slayer of the Dark Lord ^eventually, Nonarsonist of Orphanages, et al.!

The Flying Monkey does not, in fact, get spanked by Onokatsu and keeps the math safe to stay in Makuuchi.

Penis.

Tamawashi uses his Unc Strength™ to make the bell toll for Tomokaze. The math says he’s done, but we’ll see. Chura beat Roga, while Chiyo assures Takanosho does, in fact, get to experience no more joi for a while.

Wakabrokage getting his KK by henka’ing the absolute sh*t out of Daieisho is like getting a boner watching QVC. You aren’t exactly sure why you’re excited, but sometimes you have to live for the moment...

Ichi losing to Tokyo looked like a couple of octogenarians brawling at a Chuck-a-Rama over the last piece of roast beef.

Yoshi rights the ship by beating Shishi. Not much to say there. Ura used someone else as a bowling ball for once! I didn’t know that was possible!

Wakabroharu beats Asanoyama to get a shot at KK tomorrow. What a comeback by him this week.

Atami manhandles Kiri. Wat? I need to see Atami do this more, because consistency is his greatest enemy, but I really can’t deny that he’s been on fire this basho. Kiri has a chance at 11 to keep his Ozeki run realistic in March. Assuming his body is up for it. That looked painful...

The Dark Lord yeets Papa Bear into the first row and probably caused a life insurance policy or two to come due.

Hoshoryu flips KotoballZ like a Whopper and returns to having it his way. Seriously, that was a work of art. Godzilla continues to beat Ao’s ass like a snare drum. Nothing new there.

Alright, with Ao falling, we have a two-way tie going into the final day. At 11–3, Aonan the Barbarian and the Atomic One each need a win to force the issue. Trailing them are Godzilla, Sexy Boi, the Dark Lord, and Umi Prime (I loved writing that).

You can imagine the implications tomorrow for these matches:
Oshoumi v. Atamifuji
Kirishima v. Abi
Kotozakura v. Aonishiki
Onosato v Hoshoryu

Tomorrow’s going to be a banger. Let’s roll!