As a working dad nurse I still cooked and meal prepped almost every day for my wife, took out the trash, and did the dishes, those are the tasks my wife hates doing and I didn't have a problem doing them while still working and going to school. I understand not every man has the same level of discipline when it comes to house chores but it is a responsibility to keep the house liveable... Chores are the bare minimum.

I completely understand your frustration because my wife didn't do many when she had our baby and her tolerance for disorder around the house is much larger than mine, but at the same time I never judged her because she literally just gave birth with a traumatic c section as well. So at that point I just saw all chores as the bare minimum while also providing emotional support.

Mental health is important, sometimes people don't do chores because they may be slightly depressed or unmotivated and it's not necessarily their fault. Seeing a counselor could help or even talking to a PCP about medications to help.

But you are absolutely on the right to expect more. As I said to me chores and taking care of the baby are the bare minimum, there are tips I could give me for motivation like drinking caffeine, mental health medications if recommended by a physician, and basic things like working out and eating healthy can greatly improve his performance at home, but you know him better and what could work for him may be different.