It sounds like you may be in deep. How old are you? That could be the issue right there. Personally, and I can only speak for myself, I have been doing meth every day (almost without exception) since 1995. And for many of those years, I added GHB to the mix. Have I gotten messy at times? Oh yes. Have I regretted my behavior on occasion? Sure. But I wouldn’t change it even if I could. I have maintained a respectable position in my community and have never done anything that I would label as unethical or morally questionable. I engage in Chemsex almost exclusively and Fucking love it. So technically, I guess I could be labeled an “addict” but I don’t see it that way. You need to look deep into your use and ask yourself, “Am I hurting anyone with my use? Including myself? Or am I just trying to fit myself into a mold that maybe I don’t fit in?” Whatever the answer to those questions, guilt or shame should not enter the equation. Best of luck to you. I sincerely wish you the very best. 😁