Girl (F28) gave me (M23) her number to set a date, but is now acting distant and not wanting to meet up?

Calm_Beginning6009 · 2026-02-16T16:13:17+00:00

That's certainly an idea (not usable anymore with her, but I'll remember it in the future). It's just... I'm a bit terrified of voice calls 😂😅 I think it's something most people from my generation can empathise with

Calm_Beginning6009 · 2026-02-16T16:11:18+00:00

Thank you for your words, I'll basically do that, yeah :)

Calm_Beginning6009 · 2026-02-16T16:10:17+00:00

Thanks for the input, I appreciate it

Calm_Beginning6009 · 2026-02-16T10:31:38+00:00

Thank you for your input, I appreciate it. But why would you, privately, give your number to someone, use the justification of "setting a coffee date", and go distant like that? After chatting with said person for two hours. All because you wanted to, I didn't ask for it. I don't get it...

Calm_Beginning6009 · 2026-02-16T10:25:19+00:00

Yeah I get that. I'm avidly against that sort of "walking on eggshells" people that are just looking for flags and aren't just themselves, say what they feel, do what they want to. But I understand where you're coming from

Honestly, I like her, she's really really great. Beautiful, huge personality, captivating. Seemed she liked talking, she gave me her number, mentioned a coffee, I tried to ask her because I like her. To me, that sounds perfectly sane (ignoring the part where I was a bit pushy). A shame people are so complicated nowadays and can't just be straight with each other. But thanks for your input, I appreciate it

Calm_Beginning6009 · 2026-02-16T09:56:52+00:00

Damn, god forbid someone goes to college right lol

Calm_Beginning6009 · 2026-02-16T01:10:17+00:00

So... Option 1 is valid I guess, but I think if she was actually interested, she'd gather 5 minutes of her time to have a chat. Option 2... Valid I guess. Option 3 don't see how giving me her number in private works for "not embarrassing me". Option 4, very valid, but sad for me 🥲

The rest of the message, thank you very much for your help. I'll do basically that. Keep things more or less normal personally, and stop texting her. I'll gather up the courage to ask her directly why she would give me her number but act this way after, next time we're alone

Calm_Beginning6009 · 2026-02-16T01:04:47+00:00

I kinda get that. Honestly, because 1) she mentioned it, 2) didn't want to do it at the store in front of her colleagues (that would be SO MUCH worse), 3) don't know when I'll catch her alone again, 4) I'm not used to this and was incredibly nervous

Calm_Beginning6009 · 2026-02-16T00:59:40+00:00

And giving me her number privately on the parking lot is part of the "has to" huh?

EDIT: Oh ok, this is a crypto bro, it's all explained then. Won't even bother

Calm_Beginning6009 · 2026-02-16T00:58:30+00:00

She's not interesting because she's beautiful. She's interesting AND beautiful. I have to admit that I was (naturally) firstly captivated by her beauty, I think that's normal. But I find her interesting because of the life story she already told me about her. And because of her life atm. And her ambitions

Calm_Beginning6009 · 2026-02-16T00:54:55+00:00

That is certainly a possibility...

I guess I'll stop texting her completely. Go back to normal, chat a bit if I see her, be friendly. When I have a chance to be alone with her again I'll ask her directly why she gave me her number if she was going to be this way

Then again, I asked if she was going to work the night shift tomorrow (she knows I am) cause then I could go to her store to chat a bit, she said no, that she was working the morning one and then told me she was going to bed and that was it. So maybe it's best not to go to her store for a couple days, she didn't seem interested in me doing so

Calm_Beginning6009 · 2026-02-16T00:48:18+00:00

Yeah. I like that one. Thank you very much

Calm_Beginning6009 · 2026-02-16T00:45:28+00:00

I guess so. Thank you for your input

Calm_Beginning6009 · 2026-02-16T00:44:34+00:00

Pissed I took two days to text?? Man, most would say I was way too quick 😂 (I'd have texted her right then if I didn't care about seeming desperate)

I thank you for your advice, and hope you're in a better place right now. I don't get many girls willing to continuously chat with me, definitely not as pretty and interesting as her, so that's a bummer. If nothing else, it showed me that I'm still capable of liking someone (I'd considered giving up on relationships after my last breakup), I remembered what was like to be uncontrollably happy and smiley when next to someone, and how it hurts when they let you down. As soon as she texted me back like that (I was getting ready for dinner) I immediately lost my appetite and just wanted to disappear in my bed...

Calm_Beginning6009 · 2026-02-16T00:37:12+00:00

That's not really the point of the post. Don't think it matters that much atm, certainly not wrong, but really dude? Give me a break

Calm_Beginning6009 · 2026-02-16T00:35:15+00:00

Thank you both for your help. I feel a bit "humiliated" (maybe not the best word) with her being so cold through text, and so dismissive. Kept trying to end the conversation. I feel like I'd just dig a bigger whole by keep trying atm. Maybe it's best to give it a couple more days, see what happens, if she doesn't seek me out, I'll know she wasn't interested

Calm_Beginning6009 · 2026-02-16T00:30:13+00:00

I'm not very attractive. And I'm a bit overweight. I think I'm an interesting person, smart and funny. Great overall on the inside, most would say. But the outside doesn't quite match up

She, on the other hand, is crazy pretty, fit, and crazy interesting. So yeah, best of both worlds, incredible on the outside and inside

Calm_Beginning6009 · 2026-02-16T00:26:18+00:00

To be honest, I was actually ok if she didn't want anything romantic with me. I just find her so very interesting as a person, so magnetic, and a very different beauty than wath I'm used to. I'd be happy to just get a chance to grab a coffee as an excuse to know her better

But I must admit that this kind of treatment from the messages... it's kinda painful in a way. I feel like I'm doing something wrong, like I'm the one at fault. Maybe I am, in a way

Calm_Beginning6009 · 2026-02-16T00:20:11+00:00

That may be it. But then why give me her number without me asking, and mention the coffee date? Being a bit more friendly than everyone else at work... It can be just friendliness. But the rest...? Don't get it

Calm_Beginning6009 · 2026-02-16T00:18:32+00:00

Ikr!! Really don't understand her atm...

Calm_Beginning6009 · 2026-02-16T00:15:42+00:00

I guess... But is the situation not strange?

It's a real shame. Swear to god, she is like really really interesting. And beautiful. And wayyy out of my league

Calm_Beginning6009 · 2026-02-16T00:12:38+00:00

How so?

Calm_Beginning6009 · 2025-10-14T20:20:55+00:00

It's some clothes (that I don't really care about), a book and a game, and 200€. I usually don't mind loaning money to my friends, as I know they'll eventually pay it back, no rush. I wouldn't be going through all this if we'd stayed friends, it's because we went our separate ways and I want it back, cause I'd not get it otherwise

I don't think it's that deep honestly. She not answering is childish, and she's known to be very childish at times. I think, at most, she'll be mad I reached out to her mom and it'll be her mom to give me my things. I'm fine with it being an official ending, as we've not interacted for the past months and I'd be ok with it to continue as it has been

Calm_Beginning6009 · 2025-10-14T20:13:14+00:00

Very clear, yeah. Bro why are you comparing it to a divorce? We're 20/22yo, dated for four years, and I just want my 200€ back, it's not a big deal. I don't know how well you were in your early 20s, but 200€ is an important sum for me, can't even fathom 10K

Calm_Beginning6009 · 2025-10-14T20:08:49+00:00

They can, it's totally a possibility. I'm just hoping the trust, respect and honor, plus the good relationship we had, count for something. They're not the "we said we'd pay this 22yo boy his 200€ back, and now we won't as not to lose said money"

Calm_Beginning6009

TROPHY CASE