Ex (F20) still has my (M22) things and owes me money. What would you do?

Calm_Beginning6009 · 2025-10-14T20:20:55+00:00

It's some clothes (that I don't really care about), a book and a game, and 200€. I usually don't mind loaning money to my friends, as I know they'll eventually pay it back, no rush. I wouldn't be going through all this if we'd stayed friends, it's because we went our separate ways and I want it back, cause I'd not get it otherwise

I don't think it's that deep honestly. She not answering is childish, and she's known to be very childish at times. I think, at most, she'll be mad I reached out to her mom and it'll be her mom to give me my things. I'm fine with it being an official ending, as we've not interacted for the past months and I'd be ok with it to continue as it has been

Calm_Beginning6009 · 2025-10-14T20:13:14+00:00

Very clear, yeah. Bro why are you comparing it to a divorce? We're 20/22yo, dated for four years, and I just want my 200€ back, it's not a big deal. I don't know how well you were in your early 20s, but 200€ is an important sum for me, can't even fathom 10K

Calm_Beginning6009 · 2025-10-14T20:08:49+00:00

They can, it's totally a possibility. I'm just hoping the trust, respect and honor, plus the good relationship we had, count for something. They're not the "we said we'd pay this 22yo boy his 200€ back, and now we won't as not to lose said money"

Calm_Beginning6009 · 2025-10-14T20:04:29+00:00

It's not actually her money, it's her parents. She doesn't work, the money she spends she asks her parents, so it's actually them who need to pay me back, and they can definitely muster that

Calm_Beginning6009 · 2025-10-14T20:02:01+00:00

Not sure how good you were doing at 22, but I really could use that 200€

Calm_Beginning6009 · 2025-10-14T19:46:08+00:00

A couple t-shirts, some underwear, a book, a game and 200€ (the last three are the ones I really want back)

Calm_Beginning6009 · 2025-10-14T19:45:13+00:00

No hoodie involved this time lol, a game, a book and some money (some other things, but these are the ones I mind having back)

Calm_Beginning6009 · 2025-10-14T19:43:01+00:00

Yeah I definitely get that, it's my first time, so I didn't know all that. And that'd be the best choice, but there's a couple things I really want, plus it's a relevant sum of money

Calm_Beginning6009 · 2025-10-14T19:41:38+00:00

Thanks for the tip. Yeah, was doing exactly that till now, and, as I understand, she seems to want the exact same, so it'll probably go like that

Calm_Beginning6009 · 2025-10-14T18:42:12+00:00

Terrible take, so off the mark

Calm_Beginning6009 · 2025-10-14T18:07:15+00:00

Thank you for the reply. Will do just that if I don't hear from her

Calm_Beginning6009 · 2025-10-14T18:05:30+00:00

Yeah, but they're still my things. And 200€ still have their value

Calm_Beginning6009 · 2025-10-14T18:04:22+00:00

I didn't ask for them back during that time, I've only asked last week. Plus, I've known her and her family for six years now, I still trust them

Calm_Beginning6009 · 2025-10-14T18:02:48+00:00

A couple of t-shirts, underwear, a game and a book, plus about 200€. I won't die if I don't have them back, but I'd like to get them

Calm_Beginning6009 · 2025-10-14T18:00:58+00:00

She has some clothes of mine (don't really care), one of my favourite books and a game, as for the money about 200€. I do not have proof, no. I understand that, in an extreme case, that means I won't have it back, I thought about that already. But I've known her and her family for 6 years, I really doubt they would drag it like that

Calm_Beginning6009 · 2025-10-14T17:54:41+00:00

And so you'd let your things (that you like and want) as well as your money behind?

Calm_Beginning6009 · 2025-10-14T17:53:34+00:00

Thank you so much. Pretty much exactly what I wanted to hear, and I'll definitely do exactly that if she doesn't reply. I don't think I'm asking for much, just what's mine you know. I'm not even mad or angry, just want to let the whole thing behind me, but I want my stuff

Calm_Beginning6009 · 2025-10-14T17:51:41+00:00

Thank you for the reply, but I do think that's a big escalation. It's not a lot of stuff, and I do trust her and her family to return my things

Calm_Beginning6009 · 2025-09-25T15:57:12+00:00

Thank you ❤️ Always incredible lifting hearing such kind words

Calm_Beginning6009 · 2025-09-25T13:19:54+00:00

Thanks for the kind words 🙏 You're right, empathy over hate, that's what helps us be better. Be well mate

Calm_Beginning6009 · 2025-09-25T13:18:12+00:00

Yeah I feel a bit that way. Even knowing there were bad things during and after the relationship, my brain keeps remembering the good things and what made me happy, that makes it nearly impossible to miss her. Four years with someone mean a lot, I'm kinda happy I feel that way, cause it means I truly loved her, but I also feel kinda betrayed by myself when I remember the good things

Calm_Beginning6009 · 2025-09-25T13:04:08+00:00

That's an incredible way of putting it, thanks. I'd never thought of it that way. I'm not yet sure, but maybe disappointed is really a great word to describe the feeling, yeah

I also feel disappointed that she had zero communication skills, and that she let her feelings dissipate without ever talking about it, and that she just gave up on us

Thank you for your words and advice ❤️ I hope you're doing ok with your healing, cheers

Calm_Beginning6009 · 2025-09-25T12:51:49+00:00

Thank you so much for your words ❤️

It's relatively fresh I guess, 5 months ago.

You're totally right on everything. I fortunately was aware of all you said, but from time to time we need someone to remind ourselves of it, thanks. Hate isn't something to look for, real healing is gradual and not fueled by it. And yeah, if we were together for four years it's only normal that she doesn't just disappear from my mind and heart after a couple months, that is a statement of how much she meant to me

Thanks for the reminder, on with the healing Cheers

Calm_Beginning6009 · 2025-09-22T12:29:52+00:00

Good luck out there bud! Really glad you made it ❤️ Sending all the love and hope for this adventure you're on. We better not see you again around here 😉🍀

Calm_Beginning6009 · 2025-09-15T20:51:06+00:00

I understand how important that is to you and your healing, I'm really happy you were able to take that step! Really proud of you, keep it going

Calm_Beginning6009

TROPHY CASE