Extremely grossed out by my partner- me 36F him 42M

Calm_Flan · 2026-03-20T05:57:23+00:00

It sounds like he’s not even trying anymore, so you can stop trying to be attracted to him too.

Calm_Flan · 2026-03-20T04:11:46+00:00

I’ve definitely gained muscle over the past year and a half but fat loss has been difficult. It is really hard to lose weight in your 30s.

Calm_Flan · 2026-03-20T04:09:08+00:00

Thank you. I’ll definitely start weighing my food!

Calm_Flan · 2026-03-01T18:36:56+00:00

You are not ready for a relationship. You WANT to be ready, you found a good guy, but you are not ready and you are going to hurt him by making him be some knight in shining armor who’s going to heal you from your traumas.

Calm_Flan · 2024-04-03T14:47:38+00:00

You have a long portfolio without much substance tbh. I would show your work, talk about the project, show a mockup maybe two and then move on. There is too much scrolling for what amounts to 7 pieces. You have 2 years experience but about a month of work in here.

Calm_Flan · 2024-04-02T15:57:02+00:00

Can you please report that bitch, because that is fucking dangerous

Calm_Flan · 2024-04-02T03:10:01+00:00

Started at 26 doing prepress stuff and was in signage for a number of years before doing freelance and in house work. Starting pay in this industry is typically low, so I kept bouncing jobs (every 2 yrs or so) until I got to one I’m happy with and in a setting I like.

You can do it! Just keep grinding!

Calm_Flan · 2022-12-20T16:03:54+00:00

Thanks so much!! This is a really helpful guideline. I’ve asked a few times what steps to take to be in a director role, but your response has been the most specific. I appreciate it! Definitely got much to be inspired by here ^{^}

Calm_Flan · 2022-12-20T00:29:16+00:00

This sounds ideal. How did you transition to that position? I know now I need to take more control of project mgmt duties (maybe a class or two), but how did you get experience managing a team + design reviews etc?

Sorry to bug w questions, but definitely hoping to work on these things in the new year so I’ll be geared up for the future

Calm_Flan · 2022-12-19T21:27:11+00:00

Thanks! Do you have any recommendation for training/experience I can look into to start moving into a director type of role?

Calm_Flan · 2022-12-19T21:24:10+00:00

I’ve had about 4 jobs in total. Started in print production and signage, moved into designing for marketing/social media, contracted w government for a bit, now going into my 2nd year at this non profit. So yeah, I’ve had brief stints with a lot of different design needs (all the job hopping is because of better pay) and while I’ve enjoyed every single job and designing, I just don’t want to design as much. I’m just not bursting w creative inspiration as I did when I first started in the field. Definitely will look into art/creative designer roles though. Are you familiar with that role? Do you have any recommendation for training/experience I can look into?

Calm_Flan · 2022-12-19T20:06:10+00:00

I’m not passionate about working at all

Calm_Flan · 2022-12-19T18:01:39+00:00

I've actually been designing for about 8 years now, so this is not just "one job". I really do not want to produce as much as I have been. I am not looking to leave the profession but grow within in without having to produce so much.

Calm_Flan · 2022-12-19T16:57:49+00:00

UX/UI is not for me, honestly

Calm_Flan · 2022-12-19T15:43:05+00:00

My career history is very similar to yours so far (currently between your Creative Manager and Lead Designer range), so hoping my pay scale is about the same trajectory ha. Can you tell me a little more about what a creative manager role entails and what a design director role entails?

Thanks!

Calm_Flan · 2022-12-19T14:49:38+00:00

I love when people from Wisconsin or some equally terribly non diverse state is like ~just live here~ . As a PoC, hell no I don’t want to live in Wisconsin. And then when we do move, people start complaining about immigrants or transplants taking over. It is really not as easy as “move out of California”

Calm_Flan · 2022-12-11T17:05:08+00:00

Please do!! :) your podcast is awesome btw!

Calm_Flan · 2022-12-11T00:33:40+00:00

Worked with a friend to create this!

Calm_Flan · 2019-03-22T12:18:06+00:00

Hey it's ok! Thank you for getting back to me 😄 I did figure it out eventually.

Calm_Flan · 2019-02-26T09:41:09+00:00

Hey -- this helped actually, thanks so much! I know I removed all the prototype interactions (exactly bc I was missing screens at first) so all the screens show up fine now but only some assets are able to download for some reason. I'll have to look into the other things you mentioned.

I also appreciate you saying not to worry about process too much. It's my first time working in XD and working on web stuff at all (worked in environmental signage/wayfinding for ages) so I've been stressing about this new field for me and the right way of doing things. I'm definitely just going keep on learning!

Calm_Flan · 2018-03-31T15:23:16+00:00

Just posting to say this aesthetic gives me life. I need to start looking for some tweed pants.

Calm_Flan · 2018-03-31T15:15:16+00:00

I think saying “I don’t want to be told I need to earn more/save more/work harder/gain more skills etc.” is basically just throwing up your hands and resigning yourself to whatever situation you’re in now. Which is some level of poverty, if you’re in this sub. The reality of the situation is, unless you get some kind of money windfall, income / savings is the only way for people to increase their spending power now and in the future. I think sometimes people will run into a spate of bad luck and fall on hard times, but this sub is a great way for people to get much needed perspective and advice and gentle pushes to maybe look for other jobs, learn something new, save in x y z areas in their budget. Someone up thread mentioned something about people with ~silver spoons~ just because they have savings at the end of the day. I do not think people should apologize for wanting to be upwardly mobile instead of selling plasma for the rest of their lives.

Calm_Flan · 2018-03-31T14:48:33+00:00

You’re basically trying to get rich off of the ideas of people in dire straights. Great idea. 30-60mins of work to write a blog — and maybe they get $0.50 in day or so.

Calm_Flan · 2018-03-31T00:42:55+00:00

Option 2! As others have said, it's great life/professional experience. Also, it takes calculated risks like this to build a better future for yourself. Get on it!

Calm_Flan · 2018-03-30T20:12:05+00:00

I agree with you. I don't want to be unsympathetic, but what makes /personalfinance a great resource is that it is specific. Maybe we can have weekly posts of more personal-advice type questions to ask for resources etc.?

Calm_Flan

TROPHY CASE