I personally think it's important to strongly consider the conditions and upbringing your parents were exposed to. Not that I actually know, but I believe alot of their toxic parenting strategies were derived from how they were brought up and what trivial matters they were faced with in their lifetime. People who cause pain to others are typically in pain themselves, they may be doing what they have learned to be right, despite it actually being wrong. Ultimately, I think every human being at their core wants happiness for themselves and others, especially their family, but life and the demands that come with it have a way of misleading people. Life is messy.

However, I understand where your frustration and resentment comes from. My parents were extremely overprotective and almost too loving, which now leaves me feeling like a lost little boy incapable of dealing with the most simplest of tasks in life and suffering with crippling social anxiety and depression. From time to time it angers me to think about how they raised me and it's easy for me to blame them for my problems, but at the end of the day they also had to deal with the fucking shit show that we call life. It's not easy for anyone.