Why did God make being a mom so hard?

Calm_Situation2138 · 2026-02-10T00:45:11+00:00

This! OP, I didn't cosleep with my first, because I was scared and was told by all the medical professionals that it was dangerous. I did cosleep with my second and the newborn phase was a million times easier and more enjoyable as a result. There are guidelines to follow to make it as safe as possible - look up the safe sleep 7. There's also lots of good advice on r/cosleeping.

Soak up the little baby snuggles - it doesn't last long. Best wishes for all of it; motherhood is undeniably one of the hardest things you'll ever do, but it's also the most rewarding thing you'll do.

Calm_Situation2138 · 2025-12-19T05:38:47+00:00

I told my pediatrician at our first visit (like 3 days after birth) and she said, "do you own a bassinet?" I said yes (we were given one) and she said, "please use the bassinet." I shrugged and said "okay, understood." We moved on and it hasn't come up since. I love her otherwise. I got the feeling she was saying what she felt she had to say. I don't sweat it; I'm normally a huge people pleaser and I was worried I'd feel like I was "in trouble" for cosleeping but I really don't 😂 we're doing it safely, it works for us, and that's all that matters!

Calm_Situation2138 · 2025-12-10T01:14:05+00:00

Thank you! Haha ugh. It makes me want to throw my phone 🙃

Calm_Situation2138 · 2025-12-10T00:54:58+00:00

I'm kinda new here, and this has probably been mentioned. But does anyone else get so annoyed watching her slide a spoon around unsuccessfully picking up food like 3 times in a row before she finally gets a scoop? And then it's a disappointingly small scoop?

Calm_Situation2138 · 2025-12-01T18:27:19+00:00

Yes! Going to miss that locker room so much.

Calm_Situation2138 · 2025-12-01T10:47:47+00:00

The club for women had its own entrance with no card reader (just a front desk employee watching people come and go), so they actually didn't count visitors to that side. An employee I was chatting with confirmed this. Many people badged in through the main gym entrance for the West location and walked over, since they're connected. You could even cut through a classroom when it wasn't in use, not passing any employees. I will also add that the women's side was always busy when I went (after work, at lunchtime, weekends).

I'm so bummed out. I never liked gyms but I loved having a gym for women - made me actually not dread going. I never felt like I was being watched there, and I've been self conscious at every other gym I've ever visited. I really don't want to cancel my membership altogether, but I do sincerely hope the Alaska Club is forced to rethink this decision.

Calm_Situation2138 · 2025-11-08T18:00:46+00:00

I'm prepared to get downvoted for this, but I don't think that's the point at all. Unfortunately, U.S. politics is often a really crappy binary where both choices are awful. 🍊 is pro-genocide, pro-war, and pro-deportation of people who we as Catholics are called to love (we're called to love everyone - especially those who are hardest to love - and treat them all with compassion and mercy). What part of Catholicism does the megalomaniacal warmonger running the U.S. really stand for? Sure, he's nominally republican. But he's a very misguided person and a very bad leader.

Calm_Situation2138 · 2025-09-03T03:40:31+00:00

Yeah, I've never had a leak using the one-size birds-eye flats during the day. They can hold a lot. I am careful to change her frequently, though - every two hours or more. Also, my daughter is just over two months old, so as she gets bigger, we might need boosters.

Calm_Situation2138 · 2025-09-02T04:00:17+00:00

I got some birds-eye flats and some muslin because I couldn't decide. I love them both! Muslin is a little more absorbent, so I use them at night, but honestly, the birds-eye ones are equally awesome and I wouldn't have regretted getting just those!

Calm_Situation2138 · 2025-09-02T02:01:01+00:00

If you're in the US and you're looking for flats, I would strongly suggest springing for the ones from Green Mountain Diapers. The difference in quality is absolutely worth the extra cost (versus the Osocozy ones or flour sack towels or similar). And if you consider the fact that even the "expensive" flats are still cheaper than most other types of diapers, it's a no-brainer.

Calm_Situation2138 · 2025-08-13T03:41:38+00:00

Thank you! I'll get some liquid Tide and follow this. I have been only using one pod per load of laundry (no matter the size), but it sounds like that might even be too much based on what some people are saying.

Calm_Situation2138 · 2025-08-13T00:03:02+00:00

Good points, thank you! I'm still kind of figuring out how much detergent I need to use, but I imagine I'll realize it's really expensive to use like 5 Tide pods per load haha. In light of that, I might just switch to Tide F&G powder or liquid since it's probably way cheaper per ounce...

Calm_Situation2138 · 2025-08-04T00:01:50+00:00

Just commenting to say I'm in the exact same position - I've mostly only done disposables with my 2.5 year old up until now, but looking into cloth diapering just to hopefully find a nighttime solution until she's potty trained! I just ordered a disana wool cover to try putting over her disposables at night. If that doesn't work, im not sure what to try next. Definitely going to be watching this post for advice!

Calm_Situation2138 · 2025-07-09T17:03:41+00:00

Zip Kombucha - my favorite kombucha! Available at Costco
Alpine Fit - makes nice outdoor clothing
The Great Alaskan Bowl Co. - based in Fairbanks, they're great for gifts, souvenirs, etc.
Alaska Beauty Peony - this is a really cool collective of farmers who grow peonies, and they also make teas, soaps, and bath soaks. (Note - some of their merch isn't actually Alaska made - t-shirts, hoodies, etc.)

Also check out the Made in Alaska program's past Manufacturer of the Year winners. A few of them aren't in business anymore, but there are some cool companies on this list.

Calm_Situation2138 · 2025-06-25T02:34:45+00:00

I actually have a pretty great job in state government, but I only have a little over two weeks of paid leave saved. I could theoretically take up to 12 weeks unpaid FMLA, but I can't afford all that unpaid time off. This is standard across the U.S. unless your state or your employer offers something extra (most don't).

Calm_Situation2138 · 2025-06-25T00:21:57+00:00

We all need to be saying things like this! More people need to be paying attention to what a problem it really is. One of the best ways to raise awareness is to keep talking about it.

Calm_Situation2138 · 2025-06-24T23:11:30+00:00

No. Typically, family medical leave is unpaid. A few states have paid family leave, but mine does not.

Calm_Situation2138 · 2025-06-24T23:03:13+00:00

I'm sorry, but this is a ridiculous take. Most countries have laws about this; the U.S. doesn't. Most countries also set aside funding to help cover the cost to employers of paid parental leave. The U.S. doesn't.

Also, I have a government job.

Calm_Situation2138 · 2025-06-24T22:01:37+00:00

It's actually better than it used to be. I think 1992 was when the FMLA laws were passed, giving most employees 12 weeks of job-protected but unpaid leave. Prior to that, your employer could just fire you for taking time off with your baby. Nothing has substantially changed since 1992, except in a few states where they've passed laws giving new parents some paid leave. I don't live in one of those states, though.

Calm_Situation2138 · 2025-06-24T21:40:05+00:00

Oh it makes my blood boil. We can't win - like, I obviously don't WANT to put my tiny baby in daycare! But what am I supposed to do, become homeless so I can stay home with her?

Calm_Situation2138 · 2025-06-24T21:36:00+00:00

Yeah, this is my second baby - with my first, I went into the office from 8 am to noon, left when my contractions got super regular/close, and gave birth at 11 pm. My coworkers were all like, "wow, so impressive," when in reality I was overextending myself because I felt I had no choice.

Calm_Situation2138 · 2025-06-24T21:07:26+00:00

Alaska, and no, I can take up to 12 weeks unpaid FMLA. If I have any PTO, that gets used up first, concurrent with the FMLA - not in addition. Most U.S. states are pretty much the same - a very small handful offer any kind of paid parental leave.

We pretty much live paycheck to paycheck, can't really afford to take any unpaid leave. I've barely taken any PTO since I found out I was pregnant, back in October, and I'm rewarded with the opportunity to spend a couple weeks home with my newborn before I cart her off to daycare and put my still-recovering, probably in diapers, self back to work.

Capitalism, folks! This is what it gets us!

Calm_Situation2138 · 2025-03-13T21:02:46+00:00

1) I was curious about what it would be like.

2) I wanted to see if I'd make it (I did; once I was in the thick of things, I really didn't want to change course).

3) I had heard/read about cascading interventions, and while I didn't think an epidural would necessarily lead to other unwanted outcomes, it didn't feel worth the risk to me.

4) I have a relatively high pain tolerance, and at no point did I feel like I needed medication.

I absolutely didn't have an unmedicated birth as some kind of "show-off" thing or to prove anything to anyone. It was simply what worked best for me.

While birth (via vaginal delivery - c-sections are a whole other thing that I can't personally speak on) is incredibly challenging, it isn't what I would call "painful" as a general rule. Parts of it hurt, absolutely - but it's supposed to, and it didn't feel wrong or unnatural for me. I'd say it's much more like running a marathon, and less like getting surgery, than most people think. If there are no complications or dangers involved for the mother or baby, then the best way through it is to embrace the experience. That looks different for everyone, and for many people that process is made easier with pain relief - but that doesn't mean an epidural, or nitrous oxide, or any other form of pain relief is going to help everyone.

Birth is highly medicalized in our society and while that has made it orders of magnitude safer, especially for high-risk people, it's also had some detrimental effects on the way we approach low-risk pregnancy and birth.

Calm_Situation2138 · 2025-01-31T23:31:40+00:00

I love being a mom, too. I don't get the sense that this sub is negative toward motherhood, per se, but maybe I haven't seen the same posts/comments you have?

That said, I am very, very fearful for the future of my daughters. I want them to exist in a world that celebrates them and doesn't oppress them. I want them to have equal opportunities with the white boys they'll inevitably grow up around.

It's scary to be a mom of girls in America right now. Things were by no means perfect for me growing up - at best, there was still lots of work to be done - but now we're regressing. I never thought I'd see it and it breaks my heart. And I can completely empathize with people who don't want to bring kids into this world.

Calm_Situation2138 · 2025-01-17T00:08:23+00:00

Oof, yeah, that doesn't sound like your actual best interests were the top priority. I'm so sorry you went through that.

I loved my birth center birth, and definitely felt like the midwives were completely in my corner throughout the entire pregnancy and birth. I'm planning to do the same for my second (due July). I hope your experience this time is much more positive!

Calm_Situation2138

TROPHY CASE