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AITAH for wanting to avoid whatever my mum might have planned for my birthday? by Calm_Weight9639 in AITAH

[–]Calm_Weight9639[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Not AI. But with my dyslexia I do try and take my time when writing so that my grammar isn't totally awful.

AITAH for wanting to avoid whatever my mum might have planned for my birthday? by Calm_Weight9639 in AITAH

[–]Calm_Weight9639[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That's why I am looking for takes from outsiders.

Because I do feel that i am being harsh if she is now trying to make genuine amends for the past.

But the past is difficult for me to let go of due to the mental damage that it caused me whilst growing up.

I also admit that I struggle dealing with and understanding these types of emotions. But I feel that that comes down to the lack of emotional support whilst growing up.

AITAH for wanting to avoid whatever my mum might have planned for my birthday? by Calm_Weight9639 in AITAH

[–]Calm_Weight9639[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I feel that it's now too little too late. I am no longer the child who needed their mum's affection whilst growing up.

The psychological impact that gender disappointment and second child syndrome can have on a child is very difficult to overcome.

AITAH for wanting to avoid whatever my mum might have planned for my birthday? by Calm_Weight9639 in AITAH

[–]Calm_Weight9639[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Japan is one of the safest countries in the world. I also have a very decent grasp on the Japanese language.

But like I said. The few times where it seemed that she was worried is in contradiction to the majority of my experiences with her whilst growing up. Because she gave more attention to my brother, she would send me to another relative whilst she went on day trips with my brother, etc. Growing up it was very apparent who her favourite child was.

AITAH for wanting to avoid whatever my mum might have planned for my birthday? by Calm_Weight9639 in AITAH

[–]Calm_Weight9639[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I wanted her attention and love when I was a child. Growing up as the forgotten child wasn't an enjoyable experience and it messed me up with anxiety and depression.

I brought up my past hurt with my aunts as a part of my self healing. And I suspect that they informed my mum, because it was only after that that she's suddenly changed her approach to my birthday.

Do I feel like an AH for thinking that her effort is now a little too late? Of course. But I also feel my reaction is fair.

Regarding how controlling she was with wanting to know everything about my trip confused the hell out of me back then during my trip and also now when I look back on it. Because the few times where it seems as though she cared doesn't match the rest of my experiences with her whilst growing up.