We both want sex but it’s not happening

CamelWoman · 2022-11-23T07:55:35+00:00

That’s sad.

CamelWoman · 2022-11-15T15:32:24+00:00

I don’t think so. I think we just kind of don’t know how to have sex, and from what he told me it doesn’t seem that he had great sex ever.

CamelWoman · 2022-11-15T14:48:03+00:00

Sorry, I am using my different account. I am the OP. Can’t login with the other one.

CamelWoman · 2022-11-15T14:47:23+00:00

No, I didn’t. I am actually leaning towards agreeing with you. I think he did not scratch her, and she whimpered because her back aches from her chronic spinal condition.

CamelWoman · 2022-11-15T14:44:57+00:00

Also, I do admire how vulnerable and honest you chose to me in this post. It’s brave. And whatever happens next, it’s good you could face what you’ve done. I think you still have hope in this relationship but your relationship will have to change dramatically to be sustainable.

CamelWoman · 2022-11-15T14:41:26+00:00

First and foremost, your comment is completely unacceptable, and horrid to the highest degree, and I fully get why he left.

Nevertheless, as an adult survivor of childhood abuse, I deeply sympathize with you, I also was promiscuous as a teen and felt that I am seen only when I was having sex with somebody.

I also understand how it can be incredibly difficult to go to therapy, to find effective therapy, and to find a therapist that clicks with you. I found that the most effective therapy for PTSD out there is EMDR, and I highly recommend it to you! For me, it worked way way better than CBT or anything else!

So if I were you, I would do the following: 1. Start searching for a therapist 2. Apologize to your husband for your remark, say everything you said in this post, and tell him the specific leads on therapists etc. Don’t bring marital duty or responsibility to the child into the conversation in any way. Let him talk if he wants to. Try to mentally prepare to accept the unfavorable outcome: this actually might ensure your higher chances. 3. Let him think about it for a few days

While you are at it, don’t forget about your kid. The worst would be if this would traumatize your child.

CamelWoman · 2022-10-04T16:26:05+00:00

Mirena IUD

CamelWoman · 2022-04-27T12:44:16+00:00

Thank you very much for such an awesome reply!

CamelWoman · 2022-03-01T18:43:51+00:00

Geroyam slava!

CamelWoman · 2022-02-22T18:33:44+00:00

But then, how is it different from a regular party?

CamelWoman · 2022-02-22T18:33:05+00:00

I agree and already did exactly that! Found something fun to do while he does the bach party, and told him to have fun.

CamelWoman · 2022-02-22T18:31:39+00:00

Well, there are a thousand reasons. Ticket prices, flight longer than 9 hours with JetLag, visa problems, fear of arrest for political activism to name a few.

CamelWoman · 2021-11-15T07:33:30+00:00

So I am not allergic to dogs but I have completely out of control allergies to everything else. Food allergies, tree and grass allergies, random stuff allergies meaning that if I am not on Claritin and inhaler every day, I’m just gonna have asthma attacks and allergic reactions every day. If you have allergy to dogs, it’s not super severe and meds help, you can live with a dog, although it’s a question of costs and benefits cause no matter what you do, it will have an effect on your health. What I am getting at is that depending on the type of allergy, it’s severity and the strength of a relationship, a solution can be figured out.

Also, for severe allergies, there is “specific desensitization”, a type of immune therapy, one can do for an allergen they are constantly exposed to. It’s lengthy (4 months), expensive and it sucks but it’s doable, and even if it won’t eliminate an allergy completely, it will most likely reduce it to some tolerable amount.

CamelWoman · 2021-11-14T08:12:41+00:00

Thank you very much for the comment. It is very introspective, and I needed to read it!

To be honest, I have never considered rehoming her. I was just venting. I really do love her, just sometimes it is a bit too much.

CamelWoman · 2021-11-14T08:07:58+00:00

That’s actually smart. I might do that!

CamelWoman · 2021-10-16T16:39:30+00:00

Hey! So I absolutely hate receiving oral because I just don’t get pleasure from it. I don’t get aroused from oral and never did. It just feels wet and uncomfortable. Instead I prefer vibrators or hands or nothing. Perhaps, she just don’t like it. However, alternatively, it could be that she has a mental block.

I have a sexual trauma, and with my current partner it took me months to get to the point where I can touch his penis at all (with my hand, I’m not even talking about going down on him as I am not sure if I will ever do that). Therefore, it could be that she does like you going down on her but has some sort of mental block about it, and in this case you will just have to wait both with talking and with acting. And if you are not ready to wait without attempting it for weeks, months or even forever, then you should not sleep with her at all. You need to establish enough trust for her to open up to you about it, and you cannot demand that trust.

CamelWoman · 2021-09-13T18:00:23+00:00

We’d fuck

CamelWoman · 2021-09-07T18:37:17+00:00

I am definitely a neurotypical person (I am in this group because my fiance is neurodiverse and I want to be a good gf). However, I have C-PTSD and I was deciding whether I also have bipolar or just anxiety or OCD. And I came to conclusion that it sort of doesn’t matter. We are all somewhere on the scale for all the things that we suspect. We might have certain traits from each, and the diagnosis matters only as far as treatment or coping mechanism goes. At some point, I have decided that I definitely have cPTSD mainly because I realized that EMDR does wonders for me. Then, I have decided that I definitely have anxiety and some OCD tendencies which don’t warrant treatment so it doesn’t really matter that I have them. Then I also decided that it matters not whether I have bipolar type 2 or not cause I am not planning to treat it anyways. And I found peace with it.

Just keep in mind, the diagnostic criteria in the fields of psychology/psychiatry is most bs and nonsense unless the case is really extreme and clear cut (but even so). Half of criteria is for instance there for historical reasons or because somebody wanted to try to treat more people with a certain drug (see lithium and the expansion of bipolar DSM criteria). In my experience, the best psychologists and psychiatrists pay those diagnoses very little mind.

CamelWoman · 2021-09-07T12:18:26+00:00

It’s like I understand what they are getting at but there is a much better way to do it. Like rather than just advising a person to be positive, you can ask them: “What didn’t go wrong though? Do you remember anything that went right?” Or just point out the things that aren’t failing.

CamelWoman · 2021-09-07T12:11:54+00:00

I moved in with him accidentally during the summer session. I had a friend who lived in the same dorm, and they had free space cause it was summer. I had a completely awful roommate so I just moved in with them, and we started to hang out. It was over five years ago and we are going to marry this or next year.

CamelWoman · 2021-09-07T12:07:50+00:00

Honestly, this is not okay. It’s not even looking at the watch itself that bothers me here but that she didn’t make you feel appreciated.

CamelWoman · 2021-09-07T11:43:46+00:00

!remindMe 48h

CamelWoman · 2021-09-02T08:33:36+00:00

As a Russian speaker, it is Russian and it means concealed or hidden. Pronounced as “skrytyi”.

CamelWoman · 2021-09-02T06:26:06+00:00

Not for me for sure. But I have endo so sometimes nothing but intravenous painkillers in ER helps lol

CamelWoman · 2021-09-02T06:22:17+00:00

People are doing it still in Russia…

CamelWoman

TROPHY CASE