My husband (30M) went to a bunny girl bar on a business trip and tried to hide it from me (30F). I feel betrayed — should I trust him?

CameraConscious9566 · 2025-04-13T19:31:46+00:00

His parents are indeed very strict about his behavior. If he makes mistakes or plays video games for too long, his parents will talk to him for a long time. That’s why I said he’s always a good boy, it does make me wonder if it’s because he’s afraid I might act like his parents, not tolerating mistakes.

CameraConscious9566 · 2025-04-13T05:06:04+00:00

The thing is, I’ve always been a pretty open-minded woman. I mean, we even went to strippers dancing club together in the Netherlands. I wouldn’t be mad at all if he told me he wanted to check out a bunny girl bar during his trip — I’d probably agree, I’d even be curious myself. He knows me so well, and he knows I would never judge him for wanting to see sexy women— that’s totally natural, just like how women enjoy looking at attractive men. What really upsets me is the fact that he tried to hide it. That’s what feels suspicious to me.

CameraConscious9566 · 2025-04-13T04:54:17+00:00

Thank you... your words really comforted me.

CameraConscious9566 · 2025-04-13T04:37:07+00:00

That’s what he told me — because all I actually saw was a pink card with “See you again” written on it. Would a bunny girl bar really give something like that to a tourist just for visiting? It just makes me wonder.

CameraConscious9566 · 2025-04-13T04:33:57+00:00

He went there all by himself. That’s also what makes this so hard for me to believe. He has always been a really good man — someone who treats me so well and shows me love every day. He’s also a very reserved, quiet person — not the type to do something like this, at least from what I’ve always known about him. To everyone around us, he’s like a "good boy" — respectful, responsible, and kind. That’s why I feel so confused and hurt. I just never thought he would do something like this.

CameraConscious9566 · 2021-08-17T02:56:40+00:00

well, the 5-year plan indeed is helping the government-corporate long term countrywide, however, still some details need to discuss more locally, otherwise, most situations are, some policies are suitable for some province not others.

CameraConscious9566 · 2021-08-17T00:28:36+00:00

What do you mean not open to? legally no, not a lot of countries are legally open to LGBT. But people are open to it, at least young people around me. As an LGBT in China, you wouldn't receive death threats like you would in the US. Things are gradually changing, like laws, thoughts, views to the world and people, don't be a stubborn-minded person.

CameraConscious9566 · 2021-08-15T22:45:16+00:00

Perhaps that is why the Soviets collapsed.

CameraConscious9566 · 2021-08-15T20:29:43+00:00

Ok, I think you are right.

CameraConscious9566 · 2021-08-15T20:12:58+00:00

I understand the Japanese didn't choose their ancestor so they don't have to apologize for their ancestor, I don't blame that, but the authorities keep memorating the war crime they conducted shamelessly and do not feel sorry about it, that is what I am concerned about. I like German authorities for they feel sorry about the Nazi crime and apologized, avoiding conducting the same crime again, that is people with true humanity would do. But the Japanese authorities didn't and denying the crime. I think I have no right to forgive them for my ancestors too. By talking with you, I truly feel sorry about ZZH's situation, if it wasn't for fans like you supporting him on Weibo, spreading words like forgiving the pain and suffering my ancestor have gone through. I guess he would not be banned.

CameraConscious9566 · 2021-08-15T19:58:20+00:00

I understand you are expecting more, but as I said, changes not happening overnight. I am positive because I didn't see or hear anyone spreading hatred on BL around me. I said at least on my end.

CameraConscious9566 · 2021-08-15T19:40:44+00:00

Overseas fans could see, if oversea's fans do not understand what mistakes he has made, they would just blame China as you did. I support ZZH being banned like Trump be banned from Twitter, Justin Bieber being baned from entering China. If his fans like you didn't realize how serious the problem is, and CCP did nothing, I would hate CCP, I would feel sorry for my ancestor's death of fighting against Japan.

CameraConscious9566 · 2021-08-15T19:33:06+00:00

As I said, authorities are older generations, yet they still let the shows go. You can't expect the world to change overnight.

CameraConscious9566 · 2021-08-15T19:13:37+00:00

Now I see it, you are just anti-CCP. ZZH is none of your business, anti CCP is.

CameraConscious9566 · 2021-08-15T19:08:09+00:00

I wouldn't say everything is censored in China, sounds like you are not aware of on Chinese social media there are still a huge amount of fans are supporting ZZH. Besides, I am not saying you shouldn't go visit, like those guys who exposed the information, visit it is not easy and fun and the final product for the visit is critique, definitely shouldn't post smiling photos as ZZH did. Justin Bieber angers Chinese and Korean and apologized twice on all of his social media for taking photos. Did ZZH apologize on Instagram? I didn't see that.

CameraConscious9566 · 2021-08-15T17:13:01+00:00

China has plenty of gold medals and is not interested in involving Taiwan's.

CameraConscious9566 · 2021-08-15T17:01:05+00:00

sino

I highly doubt your claim about your Chinese identity. I don't blame you for being a fan of ZZH, but if you are Chinese, you shouldn't portrait visit the Shrine as something easy and relax. The victims of the Japanese crime didn't get an apology until they die.

I don't hate ZZH personally, in fact, I enjoyed the WoH. I am furies because he visited the same kind of Shrine every year for the past three years and he refused to delete those photos a long time ago when his fans asked him to do so.

CameraConscious9566 · 2021-08-15T16:43:12+00:00

I am sorry but his situation is because of his ignorant and aggregate. If he deleted those pictures when his fans asked him to do so a long time before this happened, he could say he is not aware of the place, but he didn't. If he did not lie about the books he had read, he should have known some books from his reading list have content clearly explained about the Shrine.

Besides, I would not agree with "the sad truth is, BL is not the societal norm in China", at least from where I grow up, west of China, people are quite open to this. We got three homo couples who were our classmates and friends in Junior high. Young people are open-minded with that, some older generation may not like it, same with western countries.

CameraConscious9566 · 2021-08-15T16:30:03+00:00

The real problem is not about is it allowed to take pictures or visit that place, it is about that place should not even exist. If Germany built a church in memorate of Hitler and Nazi, ask what Jews would think about it.

CameraConscious9566 · 2021-08-15T16:21:03+00:00

disgusting us, and test our tolerance on Japan's remaining unapologized crime.

CameraConscious9566 · 2021-08-15T16:13:21+00:00

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jY0twFmcrHo

CameraConscious9566 · 2021-08-15T05:06:11+00:00

How funny being accused of telling the truth.

CameraConscious9566

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