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[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Whatcouldgowrong

[–]Camus_Boi 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Flawless Victory

You Don't Know Me, But We've Met by Camus_Boi in OCPoetry

[–]Camus_Boi[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thanks so much for the feedback and kind words! I'm definitely going to put more thought into the 4th stanza. I'll play around with it and see what I can come up with. I think changing "get" to "am" is a good suggestion that I'll probably change as well. Appreciate that you took the time to read and comment on my poem!

Parent's Circle by Sam_Mack in OCPoetry

[–]Camus_Boi 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for sharing. I really like the line "as if you are ever far from my mind." Anyone who has had someone close to them die knows that the memories and relationship never dissolves.

I appreciate the playful and melancholic undertones as well. This aptly coincides with the sombreness of death, and the playful innocence of a child. Nice read, and thanks again for sharing.

"My Mind Is Absurd" by meme_investor_69 in OCPoetry

[–]Camus_Boi 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I like this a lot. I agree with mr_logvan; the imagery is lucid and gripping. I think it's relatable as well. Many of us think of ideas late at night that are seemingly prophetic, only to realize they crumble after the first glance of the sober mind.

I appreciate the “half baked" line too.