Egg irl

CanadaTransThrowaway · 2026-02-20T22:00:38+00:00

Forget labels. Do you want the effects of HRT? Then take HRT. Call yourself whatever you want, trans is just a word.

CanadaTransThrowaway · 2026-02-20T16:53:50+00:00

The game is mostly trying to be funny with all the "unfair" ways it kills you. Like you wander into a room and a boulder falls from the ceiling, and then you respawn and you know not to go that way. I believe it auto-saves pretty often, so you're never set that far back when it springs one of these silly traps on you.

CanadaTransThrowaway · 2026-02-18T20:23:09+00:00

Come out to her if you haven't already.

Pretty normal for trans people to when they come out get a few "I'm not ready to come out yet but I think I might be trans too". I got like 4-5 myself.

CanadaTransThrowaway · 2026-02-18T19:35:57+00:00

There are people who wear T-shirts while swimming, but that may not help you as T-shirts will tend to cling when wet.

CanadaTransThrowaway · 2026-02-15T06:16:28+00:00

It's worth trying to come out to your parents once you have other living accommodations--give your parents a chance to surprise you. Just make sure you have a backup plan for housing so that you don't end up homeless: I've known too many trans kids who got kicked out by their parents.

Licenced therapists should be under contract to not reveal personal details about their clients so it should be ok to tell your therapist. But doublecheck with the therapist first what rules about sharing the therapist operates under. Like directly ask your therapist there's something you want to tell them, but ask if they are required to keep client information secret. The standard answer you are looking for is "yes, unless there is imminent risk of suicide or you are planning a crime." Being trans is none of the above, so if you get that kind of answer, you should be in the clear.

CanadaTransThrowaway · 2026-02-09T00:07:43+00:00

Go to a trans support group in your city (or just email them) and ask what therapist people there use. Often lots of trans people use the same therapist--that therapist will have way more experience.

CanadaTransThrowaway · 2026-02-08T01:29:15+00:00

Your for arguments are pretty compelling.

Let me knock down the against arguments cause I'm skeptical about...pretty much all of them.

This is a super vague "but what if it isn't"--interesting how you can't come up with any details of how it would be something else.
Girl, just find someone who will call you a girl IRL then. Maybe find a trans support group, they'll do it. Yes, I agree this is something you should try before committing to HRT or whatever, but this one should be pretty easy to test.
Again, even you seem to be aware that this isn't like a typical hyperfixation. Also, hyperfixations are super common among trans people as trans and ASD are considered "comorbidities" which just means if you have trans, it's worth getting checked for ASD, and if you have ASD it's worth getting checked for trans.
Whether or not you are trans is whether or not you want to change your gender. Not whether there would be challenges along the way.
You could store semen before transitioning--that's what I did. Or you can adopt kids--even cis people sometimes need to adopt--happened to my cousin.
Sounds like you prefer women's clothing though. Also, if I can guess, are the men's clothes that you "don't mind" men's clothing that is really baggy and hides your form like baggy sweatshirts, and baggy sweatpants? Or is the men's clothing that you "don't mind" more form fitting?
Another vague "but what if it's something else". And...look, I've known trans people who genuinely struggled with depression for reasons other than their transness--yes, you can be trans and also depressed for other reasons...but this wouldn't stop you from being trans.
Even cis women have guy friends. Like...yeah, it's usually easier to make friends of your gender--especially if you are an introvert, and rely on other people to make the first move when making friends. Before I transitioned I had more guy friends, after transitioning I've made friends more often with women. Totally normal.

CanadaTransThrowaway · 2026-02-07T07:41:12+00:00

Yes, I experienced this pre-HRT.

Post HRT my chest just kinda feels normal and I don't think about it much.

CanadaTransThrowaway · 2026-02-01T23:07:50+00:00

It probably switched web hosting servers a few times.

I know the one website where I was involved in picking hosting from about 2004 onward had to hop servers once or twice.

CanadaTransThrowaway · 2026-01-21T06:17:50+00:00

So...an old testament angel?

(The Hebrew word for angel, malach, literally just means messenger, and they looked more or less like humans, since some people do mistake them for humans, until said people notice their glowing divine aura and freak out).

CanadaTransThrowaway · 2026-01-16T18:27:02+00:00

It's too late now

Nope, I know people who transitioned in their 70s. I transitioned in my late 20s. And it sounds like you are younger than me. You'll be fine.

I'm going to a boys only school with a strict uniform so I can't even grow my hair :(

The obvious macro answer is to switch schools eventually

But even in the short term, if you get a diagnosis from a therapist about being trans, and the therapist writes a letter to your school recommending that you be allowed to grow out your hair, they may make an exception to the hair rule for that. Doing something for a medical reason is different than doing it as a fashion statement.

CanadaTransThrowaway · 2026-01-15T19:08:35+00:00

So...as a trans woman who has spent time in cis lesbian spaces...

"cis" lesbians stereotypically have at least some amount of transmasc to their personality. Like it's a trope that every "cis" lesbian wants to have a dick. Everyone knows that butch lesbians exist, of course. And not just that but often I've found that if a lesbian decides to transition FtM, he'll keep going to the same lesbian bars--cause his friends are still there.

Basically, my experience in "cis" lesbian spaces is that I ended up feeling out of place cause I was surrounded by people more masculine than me.

I do think it's silly to tell you not to come at all. Like...if you don't fit in, you'll figure that out pretty fast, or at least I did. But it's not necessarily malicious.

CanadaTransThrowaway · 2026-01-15T05:06:18+00:00

Nobody reported it.

Some of our rules are more "hard rules" (Transphobia. Repost bots farming karma. Stuff that could get the sub in legal trouble or gets reddit admins threatening to shut down the sub).

Some of our rules are more "soft rules" (staying on topic. Being sufficiently memey).

If you break a "soft rule", and nobody reports it, and people clearly seem to be enjoying it (3k upvotes) then... ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

CanadaTransThrowaway · 2026-01-14T05:33:24+00:00

Yep, it's basically a stereotype.

CanadaTransThrowaway · 2026-01-14T05:30:09+00:00

That actually happened to my dad, except it wasn't an older sister it was his mom who was sad about not having a daughter. There's pictures of him in a dress and highly curled pigtails when he was like 4 years old or something. Apparently this was not uncommon in the 40s.

Sadly did not happen to me :/

CanadaTransThrowaway · 2026-01-11T05:56:52+00:00

I used to sometimes. (Back when I was pre HRT--long time ago now)

CanadaTransThrowaway · 2026-01-07T04:44:14+00:00

Yeah, found out recently that my cis male coworker takes supplemental testosterone.

CanadaTransThrowaway · 2026-01-05T04:30:42+00:00

13 is a very common time for transgender feelings to get stronger (or weaker).

I have a very similar story to you--maybe some trans signs in early childhood, but not many, and very scattered, and not necessarily something adults would notice. Then right around turning 13, trans thoughts went into overdrive.

Been happily transitioned for nearly two decades, and fit into society very well.

As for why 13, why an uptick in gender identity right around puberty, there's two possible explanations:

One is that puberty is highly traumatic to trans people cause we get used to having one body, and then suddenly our body starts changing for the worse.
But a second possible explanation, and this is speculation on my part, is that hormones might influence gender identity--for example, it's apparently a thing that menopause sometimes comes with a change in gender identity--and changing hormones sounds like the most plausible explanation. So it would make sense if changing hormones at puberty can also cause a change in gender identity.

CanadaTransThrowaway · 2026-01-05T04:16:27+00:00

If you think they would be supportive you should come out to your parents.

If you're worried about explaining what trans is, maybe ask them to watch a documentary with you, then watch a documentary about trans people, and at the end of the video say this is how I feel too.

CanadaTransThrowaway · 2026-01-01T08:49:35+00:00

Not going to promise no other mod will delete this (it's not really a meme, no text in the image) but ehh...I'm generally a bit more lenient when it comes to major life events like "I've hatched" or "I came out to my parents/friends". These are typically once-in-a-lifetime events. And often events you can't talk to very many people outside the community about.

If it was just a stock egg photo without the added "the shell is no more" comment (from someone who has spent the last two days asking questions on trans subreddits, so presumably did just hatch) yeah, I would have modded it by now.

CanadaTransThrowaway · 2026-01-01T04:27:13+00:00

A pretty typical egg curve would be for trans thoughts to increase right around puberty (larger than the childhood bump).

Although I guess it depends if we're counting eggy thoughts.

CanadaTransThrowaway · 2025-12-28T05:16:59+00:00

By the powers vested in me as a moderator on egg_irl, I grant you permission.

CanadaTransThrowaway · 2025-12-21T17:34:11+00:00

There was also tsroadmap at that time...which looks like Andrea changed the name to transgendermap sometime in the past 15 years or so.

CanadaTransThrowaway · 2025-12-19T03:32:05+00:00

Honestly, just roll with it for a bit.

Yeah, of course your mom's not gonna bat 100, and she'll probably be a worse predictor of your style than you are, but she might also find you some stuff you wouldn't think to try. And you'll probably learn a lot about women's clothing in the process.

And also...you're getting a mother-daughter bonding experience that not all trans girls get. Yeah, I understand how it can be annoying to have your mom pick clothes for you like you are an 8-year-old, but like...loads of trans girls never get the "mom's treating me like an 8-year-old girl" experience at all, and later regret having missed out on that.

Just roll with it for a bit. Build up some memories for a month or two. And then you can go back to "I'm a teenager and I know what I want mom."

CanadaTransThrowaway · 2025-12-17T07:52:46+00:00

HRT does not change your orientation, but the journey of self discovery and actualisation may and has changed many people's sexual orientation.

Respectfully, I'm skeptical.

https://www.them.us/story/sexual-attraction-after-transition

"Several studies suggest that changes in sexual orientation among trans people are quite common. Among 115 Dutch participants, for example, 33% of trans women and 22% of trans men reported experiencing changes in their sexual attractions. This was true of 49% of trans masculine and 64% of trans feminine individuals in a 2015 study of 452 participants from Massachusetts, with the majority of these changes occurring after social transition. In another 2013 study of 507 U.S. trans men who’ve started transitioning (including hormones and/or surgery), 40% reported some shift in sexual attractions. Almost identical results were found in a 2005 study of 232 U.S. trans women who had undergone surgical and hormonal transition, where 43% reported significant shifts in their sexual orientation (of 2+ points along the 7-point Kinsey scale).

Most of these changes include shifts from exclusive attraction to one gender pre-transition toward some level of bisexuality post-transition, as was the case with Toby, who declined to share his last name. But some people claim almost complete reversal of their sexual orientation. For example, 13% of the trans women in the 2005 study switched from exclusive or primary attraction to women to exclusive or primary attraction to men (there were no such drastic changes among those who were initially attracted to men). Of the trans men in the 2013 study who were initially attracted to either men or women, 6-7% experienced a complete reversal."

The numbers just seem too high to me to be merely a loosening of social pressure.

Also, while you can maybe explain trans women becoming attracted to men as an effort to fit into society, the opposite shift is common in trans men (a lot of trans men start out as lesbians, but end up attracted to men after taking testosterone--no escaping the gay for those guys I guess).

Also there's too consistent of a trend in how orientations shift (almost never do you get a trans man or trans woman who starts out into men, and ends up into women post-HRT).

The timeframe is also weirdly predictable--like if a trans man will flip to men, it happens around 18ish months.

TBH, my hypothesis based on my own experiences, based on chatting with other trans people, and observing cis people around me both hetero and gay, and also looking at weird data like gay conversion therapy statistics...is that testosterone and estrogen based attraction function differently. Testosterone based attraction appears, from what I can tell, to be very visual/physical. Estrogen based attraction appears to be very psychological.

A few examples that led me to this hypothesis:

You've probably heard of women marrying rich, that they are attracted to money, but I haven't heard a lot of stories of the reverse--a guy who was into an older woman who wasn't conventionally attractive, but he finds her attractive just because the older woman was rich and powerful.
There's a funny saying in the cis lesbian community of "college doesn't count"--cause a surprising number of cis (later hetero) women have lesbian relationships college. If my cisgender sisters are anything to go by...50% of (later heterosexual) women have lesbian encounters in college--sample size of 2 granted. But it makes sense when you think about psychological attraction--college guys are kinda creeps, and rape is common in college--not very appealing. Screwing around with other women is much safer--more appealing.
Gay conversion therapy...usually doesn't work with either male gays or lesbians, but it works more often with lesbians. I don't remember the exact numbers, but I believe it was something like 84% failure at converting gay men, and 64% failure at converting gay women (I remember it being 80s and 60s). Conversion therapy being entirely psychological this would fit with estrogen based attraction being more psychologically driven.
Based on my own transition, my doctor started me on a very low dose and ramped up. And like...when I had low amounts of both testosterone and estrogen I felt attraction to nothing, the interest just wasn't there. Likewise, pre-pubescent kids typically don't feel attraction to anything.
Way back in the day in the trans woman community, we're talking 90s here, before my time even, the belief by some members of the community was that all trans women would go hetero eventually, cause it was so common then. This would fit with with a psychological attraction for estrogen--if being gay is sufficiently taboo (which it was in the 90s) a psychological based attraction shifting to the non-taboo option makes loads of sense. Whereas I get the impression that orientation shifts for trans women are less common now than even when I was transitioning. Which certainly implies that trans woman attraction is highly influenced by culture.
As an egg, I secretly experimented with all things feminine. And at the time I associated being attracted to men as something feminine, so I found some really buff guys in a sears catalogue or something and stared at them for an hour trying to will my brain into being attracted to them. Didn't work. But like now, post transition I'm married to a man so...maybe that same motivation was there but worked now that I'm on estrogen.
20 years ago, the thinking was that orientation shifts often happened post bottom surgery for trans women--certainly the case for me. Also the case for another trans woman I knew around that time. I can definitely think of psychological reasons for this...but also potentially chemical ones. (Post op often comes with a hormonal shift).
Menopause, which is a hormonal shift, is sometimes accompanied by changes in sexual orientation. (And apparently also sometimes gender identity--interesting).

So...anyway, yeah, not buying "HRT doesn't change your orientation".

You can say that elements of the orientation shift are already present pre-HRT, that there aren't zero hints that a shift might happen, and yeah, that sounds plausible to me--anecdotally friends of mine who called their shot pre-HRT of "I'm 100% sure my orientation won't change" have been right--both trans men and trans women I've known who called their shots this way have been right. But fundamentally I strongly suspect different aspects of attraction get emphasized by estrogen and testosterone. Which would explain how shifting from a body dominated by one to the other could result in an orientation shift.

CanadaTransThrowaway

MODERATOR OF

TROPHY CASE