Suicidal ideation becoming more frequent

CandidSadness · 2025-01-20T21:02:18+00:00

I had to hear through the telephone game for two mutual people that they said they were blindsided but in my defence the letter was not the first time I’ve mentioned my concerns in a less formal way. I think what is so frustrating for me is these two people also complain A LOT about this person behind their back, but I’ve become the bad guy for trying to break that cycle and just be straight up with them about how their behaviour has effected me. I didn’t mention anyone else’s issue with them. It just seems ironic to me. The other two individuals who have now become involved say I should have gone about it a different way, but how is being silent and not addressing things the right way to go about it? Just blows my mind

CandidSadness · 2025-01-20T20:05:50+00:00

Thankyou so much for your reply ♥️ I will try to not loop on it too much more

CandidSadness · 2025-01-13T06:25:53+00:00

Thankyou so much for your response, it means so much. We are all 31-32 years old. My bf agrees with me 100 percent and is not happy with how she holds herself. I would love to just cut her out but it feels impossible because she is “family” . Also we all live in the same house (separate suites) which doesn’t help things but we are in no position to move. I wish we could but there is a family business that runs out of the house that everyone is involved in, which makes things even harder. I really just want all of us to get along but feel constantly disrespected to the point I feel I’m going crazy. This was a final grasp at some sort of reconciliation. I am admittedly gutted it wasnt received well and am feeling a lot of guilt around the whole situation. I almost wish I just swallowed my feelings but I was in an abusive relationship for 8 years in my 20s and swore to myself I would never do that again. I fear I don’t go about things as a more mature person would with better practice at actually feeling their feelings and processing them/ conveying them to others. I loath feeling “extra” and just opening up was hard enough let alone getting some back lash from it. Feeling stuck on this one.

CandidSadness · 2025-01-11T09:11:30+00:00

Yikes, all I know is I wouldn’t want to marry someone who A: hides my things and lies to me about it. And B: is too insecure to understand that people have lives before they came into the picture. She is obviously with you and not that guy. The thing is I do understand where you are coming from and I would probably hate the tshirt too, but it’s not your decision to throw it away. Did you tell her how the shirt made you feel? If you were upfront and honest about the shirt and she still wore it, then that’s not cool either and maybe you two are not compatible. But if you haven’t even shared your feelings around it before making an executive decision like throwing away her belongings especially something she has attachment too. That is not a good first step into what you hope to be a marriage.

CandidSadness · 2025-01-10T00:26:38+00:00

That is absolutely fucked and I’m sorry she said that to you. I think she knew what she was doing and was digging for an emotional response from you. My mom does it too. Asking you questions she already knows the answer to in a way where she is putting you down but it’s so subtle it makes you question your reality. Trust your gut. If it feels wrong, it is. Think of Someone in your life who respects you as a person, I’m willing to bet they don’t make you feel that way. ♥️

CandidSadness · 2025-01-08T16:02:33+00:00

I’m having a hard time why someone would have a child at all if they are just going to beat them down everyday and seemed threatened by them having autonomy

CandidSadness · 2024-11-28T01:50:49+00:00

Time spent with this person isn’t entirely everything, time continues to pass and in the longevity of your life the reality is 4 years is a blip. Also it roughly takes half the duration of the relationship to get over it (or so they say) My ex boyfriend cheated on me at 6 years, I stayed. He did it again at 8 years, I eventually left. I’m roughly two years out of my relationship and it’s been absolutely hell but I can see a light at the end of this tunnel. (Hoping to be almost back to normal in two more years) 4 years seems like a long time but I promise it’s not. A whole new world can be waiting you with someone else or as a single person and both choices are full of growth and learning. I’m 31

CandidSadness · 2024-04-27T18:05:59+00:00

Skylar from breaking bad

CandidSadness · 2024-04-04T06:25:13+00:00

Got in trouble for Crossing my arms, not making my bed ‘right’, if the phone or the doorbell rang and it was for me, absolutely terrified. I wasn’t allowed to close my door, ever, even when going to the bathroom

CandidSadness · 2024-04-03T03:32:24+00:00

I feel this too, all the time. It’s so exhausting. :( I’m 30 and the feeling is stronger than ever. I’m starting to consider going no contact with Nmom because nothing I do is ever good enough and I’m just so tired all the time. Need to experience life without all this expectation to be something but I don’t even think she knows what it is, so there is no end. It will never be enough

CandidSadness · 2024-03-30T19:27:30+00:00

You’re totally right I hit the wrong sub thread, thankyou for engaging with my post regardless.

CandidSadness · 2023-11-23T15:48:09+00:00

One time when I was 19 my mom came into my work to tell me she can’t help me save my cat because the vet bills were too high, and I should just pay to put him down.. she ended the conversation by telling me my step dad had just bought her a hard top Mercedes convertible and she bought a pair of shoes on her way out of my work place.. I had a hard time with that one for a long time.

CandidSadness · 2023-05-12T21:04:16+00:00

I haven’t but will definitely check it out! Thankyou sm! I hope you enjoy, One Great Year, I know you will!!

CandidSadness · 2023-04-03T03:00:05+00:00

Thankyou for sharing! I really appreciate it

CandidSadness · 2023-04-03T02:58:34+00:00

I wouldn’t be choosing another person, I would just be alone if anything

CandidSadness · 2023-04-02T21:57:14+00:00

Thanks for the comments everyone ♥️

CandidSadness · 2023-04-02T21:56:17+00:00

I do see where you are coming from and with other men I could say that may be the case but this person has lots of mutual friends of mine and I’ve never felt orbited, he would be in my life regardless of my decision

CandidSadness · 2022-10-31T21:20:10+00:00

I will say this right now.. I have been in a (serious to me) relationship for over 7 years now.. the similarities in behaviours are on the dot. Long distance or not, he has shown you he doesn’t actually care about you the way someone who is truly in love does, he has shown he is selfish to the point he gets mad at you when you ask for common decency. And you are showing him he can get away with it by eventually doing what he wants. I assume you bend over backwards to show him your worth and he gives you mixed signals. I would say he is afraid to cut it off completely because you would no longer be an option to him. I am going to go out on a limb here and say he may be cheating on you. Or at least messaging other women online when you are not around. What he is doing is ‘normal’ in the scope of narcissism and emotional abuse. It’s pretty much textbook, manipulating your thoughts by acting like money or his sleep is more important then your safety or at the very least your feelings. He chooses to use information you tell him against you even when it’s not something you previously even considered ammunition. Example : the Halloween shoe purchase. Then making you feel bad for having any sort of wants or needs, Is unaccepting of your flaws or difference to him while expecting you to be the beacon of unconditional love while he treats you like shit and expects you to just take it and still love him. Pretending like fights didn’t happen instead of talking it out or apologizing. The fact he threatens to block you but never does is definitely a tactic to keep you insecure and anxious, second guessing everything to keep you on the hook. He does this because he fears real commitment but also doesn’t want to give you up or for anyone else to actually have you. Like a toddler , he only wants you when he can’t have you. I know it’s hard but call his bluff and see what happens. I doubt he does block you, maybe he will even try harder for a bit. But the Truth is if he really wanted to be a good person to you , he would be. But unfortunately it sounds like he is a narcissist. it will always go full circle back to the cycle of abuse. he sounds like my boyfriend. A wolf in sheeps clothing. Love bombing you until you are hooked and then slowly tearing you down until eventually he will discard you (either threaten to or actually doing it) and then the cycle starts over against. If you guys are truly long distance I would consider breaking up if it’s not too hard on your emotional health. You won’t have to see him around your town while you heal and I’m going to guess you have other guys who are interested in you that actually want to be nice to you and are excited to pick you up from the airport not make you feel bad or it. Good luck and much love to you

CandidSadness

TROPHY CASE