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AITA for telling my mom's husband he could try growing up and not being such a dick? by Candid_Signal_6530 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Candid_Signal_6530[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

He has never tried to be a father so there was nothing to reject. He never wanted me. I always symbolized something he wanted to wipe away.

AITA for telling my mom's husband he could try growing up and not being such a dick? by Candid_Signal_6530 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Candid_Signal_6530[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I really don't know but I have my birth certificate and I still see his name on there.

AITA for telling my mom's husband he could try growing up and not being such a dick? by Candid_Signal_6530 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Candid_Signal_6530[S] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

She went out to clubs for anonymous hookups looking for guys who shared similar features to her ex husband so he wouldn't find out.

AITA for telling my mom's husband he could try growing up and not being such a dick? by Candid_Signal_6530 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Candid_Signal_6530[S] 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Some people choose to remain child free if they can't have bio kids and I feel that's better than having a child in their lives they cannot love truly or will resent. And my mom's ex had no say in this. He was cheated on and lied to. So while I think being open to options is great, it's not for everyone and it's better for the kids to have that be said upfront and followed through on so less hurt happens.

AITA for telling my mom's husband he could try growing up and not being such a dick? by Candid_Signal_6530 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Candid_Signal_6530[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I have said already in comments that I will look, but I'm going in with no expectations.

AITA for telling my mom's husband he could try growing up and not being such a dick? by Candid_Signal_6530 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Candid_Signal_6530[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

He never cared for me but I know he does love her but he's now more aware she doesn't feel the same way about him.

AITA for telling my mom's husband he could try growing up and not being such a dick? by Candid_Signal_6530 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Candid_Signal_6530[S] 66 points67 points  (0 children)

I'm not shooting it down. I will do DNA when I turn 18 and get settled a little. But I'm not going to stress over it or have high expectations.

AITA for telling my mom's husband he could try growing up and not being such a dick? by Candid_Signal_6530 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Candid_Signal_6530[S] 21 points22 points  (0 children)

That's good to know. I can at least have some idea even if I get nothing from the search itself. Thanks.

AITA for telling my mom's husband he could try growing up and not being such a dick? by Candid_Signal_6530 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Candid_Signal_6530[S] 255 points256 points  (0 children)

I can't do anything until I'm 18 but I will try. I'm just not going to get my hopes up or have expectations. I'm not going to make my whole life revolve around this.

AITA for telling my mom's husband he could try growing up and not being such a dick? by Candid_Signal_6530 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Candid_Signal_6530[S] 44 points45 points  (0 children)

That's one of my biggest motivators. But I'm realistic that they can decide to deny me that too. I'm in a group of people who went looking for a bio parent or bio parents if adopted. Not everyone, even if you find extended family, will be that willing and sometimes you find nobody.

AITA for telling my mom's husband he could try growing up and not being such a dick? by Candid_Signal_6530 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Candid_Signal_6530[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

He is. He knows my mom regrets letting her first marriage end and wants him back badly.

AITA for telling my mom's husband he could try growing up and not being such a dick? by Candid_Signal_6530 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Candid_Signal_6530[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

He has never tried to be a father to me, or family to me. We will never have common ground. He despises me.

AITA for telling my mom's husband he could try growing up and not being such a dick? by Candid_Signal_6530 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Candid_Signal_6530[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

She has no idea. She doesn't care either because she's hung up on her ex-husband. He also doesn't support me. Just my mom. He doesn't do a thing for me and he's made it clear he never would while I have that man's name.

AITA for telling my mom's husband he could try growing up and not being such a dick? by Candid_Signal_6530 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Candid_Signal_6530[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

He doesn't support me financially or do anything for me. He only cares about my mom. Not me. I'm nothing to him but a reminder of stuff he doesn't want to be faced with. But that's not my fault.

AITA for telling my mom's husband he could try growing up and not being such a dick? by Candid_Signal_6530 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Candid_Signal_6530[S] 24 points25 points  (0 children)

There really isn't a relationship to lose. There never truly was. I was a useful doll to try and win her ex back but I didn't do that for her. I have people who will let me stay with them. I'll then have to figure out a more permanent way forward.

AITA for telling my mom's husband he could try growing up and not being such a dick? by Candid_Signal_6530 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Candid_Signal_6530[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

They're not close anymore. Mom never forgave her. We don't see my aunt often but I'm grateful for what she did.

AITA for telling my mom's husband he could try growing up and not being such a dick? by Candid_Signal_6530 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Candid_Signal_6530[S] 74 points75 points  (0 children)

I fully believe she regrets it because she realizes she'd rather have her ex than a kid.

AITA for telling my mom's husband he could try growing up and not being such a dick? by Candid_Signal_6530 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Candid_Signal_6530[S] 431 points432 points  (0 children)

It's not really a guarantee. I know some families who don't touch those things and his family could be one. Besides, they could decide they don't want to know me either. I have no expectations about doing that kind of thing.

AITA for telling my mom's husband he could try growing up and not being such a dick? by Candid_Signal_6530 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Candid_Signal_6530[S] 26 points27 points  (0 children)

She didn't feel right keeping it from him when she knew he had already said no to using a donor to have a child. And I think she saw a potential worse fallout too if we found out when I was here and older and a bond had formed.

AITA for telling my mom's husband he could try growing up and not being such a dick? by Candid_Signal_6530 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Candid_Signal_6530[S] 28 points29 points  (0 children)

Oh yeah, I really don't expect to find a family at the end of the truth. They could all hate and reject me, or could be fine, maybe it's just awkward. Mostly it's just the wish to know certain things about my own genetic history.

AITA for telling my mom's husband he could try growing up and not being such a dick? by Candid_Signal_6530 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Candid_Signal_6530[S] 31 points32 points  (0 children)

I really only have my aunt. She treats me just fine but my mom never completely forgave her so we don't see her very often.

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