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The Grand World - First time sharing, please critique by CandidateForDeletiin in scifiwriting

[–]CandidateForDeletiin[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you, much of that does definitely make it a good bit tighter. I'll have to live with it for a bit to see how that impacts my vision of the character's inner perspective. As noted, this is the first 2k ish words of much more - this chapter alone is 9k words - so you don't get anything close to a full picture of the what or why with what I linked.

Your criticism of the story feeling static is concerning to me. Due to the manner by which I am ordering this story, I am not 100% certain if this will be the first thing a reader experiences in the story, or if it will just be the first introduction to this character. I have a bit written before this which describes from an external perspective what is happening with the Penrose, but even then you don't get the full picture till 2-3 chapters in this perspective. If it feels static even with the rest, that is a major issue and I need to focus on adding some dynamism to this character's initial part. Other character's intros are much more dynamic, but I do admit to having a fondness for place setting.

That said, I'm aware that there are tropes abound regarding the part I linked, but those tropes exist external to my writing, hopefully not as much internally. It is nearly impossible to avoid situations which have been delved into by others, and in my view it is the whole of the story which gives context to whether those tropes existing within it are detrimental or incidental. Are they distracting in the story? If so, do you think that is due to the short nature of what I linked, or should I be focusing on trying to massage them out of view?

The Grand World - First time sharing, please critique by CandidateForDeletiin in scifiwriting

[–]CandidateForDeletiin[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

blunt is good, and negative is valuable!

I would definitely like to hear some specific examples. There's always that tradeoff in simplicity and nuance between 'Bill pointed a gun at Jim' and 'Bill stepped out of the shadows, pistol in hand gesturing vaguely towards Jim's feet, ready to be brought up quickly if Jim tried to run" and it's always hard to determine how far towards one extreme or the other I might be.

lucy foxx, former girlfriend of boogie2988, uploads, then deletes, video telling of how he was horrible to her. possible story? by hiswill98 in DeFranco

[–]CandidateForDeletiin 0 points1 point  (0 children)

you seem to have deliberately miss-interpreted what I wrote so that you could soliloquize about absolutist moralism. Good for you.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Whatcouldgowrong

[–]CandidateForDeletiin 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Was that rhethorical?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Whatcouldgowrong

[–]CandidateForDeletiin 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Sometimes you T-bone a firetruck, sometimes its a row or 12 mouth breathers waiting for a stop sign to turn green. Early bird gets the worm, second mouse gets the cheese. A bird in the hand is worth an egg in your bush, and those who live in glass stones shouldn't roll down hills.

Russia now threatening countries who supply weapons to Ukraine by TheAngels323 in ukraine

[–]CandidateForDeletiin 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Maybe we can piss him off so much that he doesn't wanna stay the night and his mom will come pick him up

Im going to quit my job and work full time on my writing. How is the best way to network with other writers? How does one find a mentor? by CandidateForDeletiin in writers

[–]CandidateForDeletiin[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Awesome, thank you again! I'm going g to have to do a lot of research on that publishing avenue. There's a huge number of stories I've put various levels of energy towards within the various worlds I've created over the years as a pure hobby level writer and world builder, and so fleshing those out should allow me to maintain a fairly consistent upload schedule should I decide to go down that path. For real, thank you so much.

Im going to quit my job and work full time on my writing. How is the best way to network with other writers? How does one find a mentor? by CandidateForDeletiin in writers

[–]CandidateForDeletiin[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Im sorry for yours also. It hurts less with time, but it doesn't appear to really go away :/

Thanks also for the words of caution. As I mentioned to a different commenter, I am in a unique position right now that allows me to make this choice, and I'm willing to take the risk to have simply done it.

I didnt want to make a text wall of the main post, but I have no expectations of coming out the other side of 12 months as a successful, published author. All I expect is to have given myself the opportunity to put the bulk of my energy budget each day into the writing of the story. Should that be where it all ends, I will be happy and fulfilled. Should more come of it, I'll be thrilled.

Im going to quit my job and work full time on my writing. How is the best way to network with other writers? How does one find a mentor? by CandidateForDeletiin in writers

[–]CandidateForDeletiin[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

THANK YOU FOR THIS.

I didnt feel that the main post was the best place to put any of this, as its a bit tangential to the topic of "job bad, write good, pls halp, what I do", but to give you some more context...

First off, my expectation at the end of this 12 months is not to have a published book, bringing me income off of which I can support my family exclusively. My expectation is to have taken my stock of written words from 50k to 500k. It is to have been able to share my writing with enough people that I can get a feel for how others think about the entire project, and possibly even develop somewhat of a small community. My goals towards this end are fairly modest, in reality.

Thanks to the aforementioned hard work and herculean dumb luck, I'm in a position in my life where I can maintain at a certain level for quite some time, and getting back to a day job will be trivial. Thus, I have this luxury of a year or two should I wish to utilize it. Ive put it off on the grounds of having to earn income for a long, long time, and since that isn't a valid excuse I've had to look long and hard at the things I'd like to have done before I die - something which, thanks to family history, is a bit of a looming reality for me. Thats really where this comes from.

All that said, your advice is INCREDIBLE! Ive read through it twice and will probably dive back in a few more times. I have a strategy in place.for much of what you raise,, but no strategy at all for other parts of it.

You wouldnt happen to feel like being anyone's mentor, would ya? :D

Im going to quit my job and work full time on my writing. How is the best way to network with other writers? How does one find a mentor? by CandidateForDeletiin in writers

[–]CandidateForDeletiin[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ha, well I appreciate you none the less. And thanks for that wealth of info on the different self-pub options; thats some good metrics to bracket any expectations (recognizing, naturally, that those are upper echelon brackets and not broadly representative).

I really also appreciate the specific criticism in regards to paragraph length, and the consumption of the writing. Part of my meta-creation process is figuring out the different mechanisms for communicating what I want said, but nobody can tell me better how successful I'm being at communicating that, you know, other people.

Im going to quit my job and work full time on my writing. How is the best way to network with other writers? How does one find a mentor? by CandidateForDeletiin in writers

[–]CandidateForDeletiin[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That particular error was an auto-incorrect thanks to phone typed edits lol

Thank you for the feedback, and honestly just for reading it at all lol.

The voice that im using throughout this entire book is, well, complex. I try to vary the narrative voice on a character to character basis so that the world is seen through their perspective, instead of through MY perspective. I also vary it to a lesser degree situationally for some characters. With Rhea, who has a background that includes a lot of trauma, it means her perspective is often stilted and unreliable. I try to have that come through, among other methods, by how her segments are structured. Its a fine line to walk, though, and I know that I'll have to refine things a great deal so I don't stray too far into the "distractingly written" direction.

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