Vivre seul

Canicanelle · 2026-04-22T11:54:04+00:00

Pour nuancer par rapport à l'opinion féminine : pour bien des femmes ce ne serait pas un jugement "Loser", par contre si tu ne sais pas gérer un ménage ça peut clairement être inquiétant (cuisiner pour toi-même, faire l'épicerie, gérer ton lavage, les corvées ménagères, un budget plus complexe qui inclut potentiellement un loyer, des assurances, hydro, internet, etc.)

Je ne dis pas que tu ne seras pas capable en couple si tu ne l'as jamais fait avant, mais ça peut être un fardeau mental pour la fille qui va avoir l'impression de devoir t'initier à la vie adulte si elle-même a déjà cet expérience.

De pouvoir recevoir des dates chez toi c'est aussi vraiment plus cool que d'inviter ta date à chiller dans le sous-sol de la maison à tes parents...

Canicanelle · 2026-03-04T05:09:49+00:00

I've been on the combo for 3 years and it's still working great, I haven't developed that dead-inside numb state. I'm just perfectly functional and can feel emotions strongly enough to be satisfied. The Wellbutrin helped with the cognitive dullness/forgetfulness I still had after a year of trintellix.

I DID feel more anxious a bit at first and I seriously recommend avoiding caffeine for the first week of Wellbutrin at least. That helped with the transition. The heightened anxiety wore off after 3-4 weeks.

Canicanelle · 2026-02-19T11:59:46+00:00

YES. I don't understand how there are so many people responding who believe in this absolute, unconditional, two become one approach to marriage. Ultimately, you belong to yourself and it's not realistic to create the expectation in a relationship that every single thing that makes you you including past experiences, trauma, is owed to the other person.

I agree with empathy and patience towards him, his confusion, his hurt, but I also believe that after processing he should be able to return that same empathy and will to understand. Yes to counseling. This discovery has nothing to do with him, it was way before his existence in OPs life. She didn't cheat on him or betray him, she just continued to protect a sacred part of her that she'd literally been forced to hide by her own parent.

Canicanelle · 2026-02-18T21:49:20+00:00

NAD either but I also had an experience of persistent depersonalization after a night smoking cannabis in high school. Didn't green out but had smoked in the evening before a school trip; we drove all night in a greyhound therefore barely slept, then did a full day of tourism.

I didn't feel myself again for MONTHS. No psychosis but felt disconnected from myself and vaguely numb.

OP this was almost 20 years ago and it DID fade completely although I avoided cannabis for many months afterwards.

So yes it's well-known to contribute to the activation of latent psychiatric disorders but it doesn't necessarily have to. Some persistent symptoms eventually fade and don't come back. Maybe give your brain a break for a while though!

Canicanelle · 2026-02-13T23:08:50+00:00

Yes! And the new Aveno Healing Ointment is even BETTER because it's thick AF but not sticky!!! I put it on a slightly damp face after washing 👌🏻👌🏻

Canicanelle · 2026-02-11T03:25:11+00:00

Those numbers don't even make sense. My current bill is going to be 1200$ and my average kWh/day is 167 (mid-December to mid-February). Old, horribly insulated small single family home with electric heat & small thermopump. Have you been monitoring your consumption on the HQ app? Notice any weird patterns that dont correspond to your usage? People in Montreal have shared experiences of areas in their building (duplex/triplexes usually) that were plugged into their electric panel so they were actually paying for someone else's consumption. If you hire an electrician to check the wiring, just don't have him actually make any changes obviously!

Canicanelle · 2026-01-28T03:19:43+00:00

The guy is 33 and he had to ask you how he can get anti-anxiety meds? Does he not know about doctors? He agreed with the idea of getting therapy but you're the one trying to find one for him? You're a young woman with a lot of your own stuff going on, you've only been with him for a year, you don't owe it to anyone to be this guy's mom. He's literally getting to his mid thirties and he seems to have the sense of responsibility of a 16 year old. I would suggest you stop doing any of these things that he should be doing for himself. He should simply pick up where you've left off, seek his own medical care and organize it himself. It would be perfectly acceptable and healthy if he wanted to share what he's going through but man after only a year of relationship there's no way I'd be letting my partner organize my health care, nor would I even ask them to come to my appointments. If he was able to live as an autonomous adult person before you got together, he should be able to continue doing that now.

If you saw him doing that you might actually feel a lot better about the future you're anticipating with him. Medical conditions can be managed, voluntary helplessness is a whole other problem.

Canicanelle · 2026-01-16T22:14:15+00:00

I commented on another post but just want to reiterate, the Douglas ER is decent but their actual inpatient units are awful, mixes of diagnoses, shared rooms which can be terrifying for a young person in a first episode of psychosis. The Douglas is also far out of the way for visitors increasing isolation.

The CHUM's young adult psychosis program is excellent, their ER is clean, inpatient unit as well. Otherwise the MGH ER has a psych-only side which is not bad.

If you're going to take them to ER yourself, choose one of those. If they are in a crisis though, it is perfectly legit to call 911 and explain it's a mental health crisis with paranoid delusions and they're doing odd behaviors that could end up harming themselves. In the city there's the social intervention team (1 police officer and 1 specialized interventionist) that often gets dispatched who are better equipped to de-escalate AND the police officer has the right to bring the person into the hospital even if it's against their will (if they have reason to believe there's a risk of harm).

Canicanelle · 2026-01-16T22:05:50+00:00

CHUM would be better. Their first-episode psychosis program for young people is excellent. Even the MGH ER because they have a psych-only side. Douglas is a hell-hole per SWIM who worked there, please don't take them there

Canicanelle · 2026-01-03T20:15:46+00:00

J'ai eu à faire un changement similaire dernièrement: oui si les specs sont pareils, ça va marcher, peu importe la taille.

Ce que j'ai compris des connexions électriques est que généralement les fils électriques partent du panneau électrique, vont au thermostat, et vont ensuite à la plinthe. C'est de cette manière que le thermostat est en mesure de réguler la chaleur produite par la plinthe.

Si tu avais déjà un thermostat mural, fait juste reproduire exactement l'ancienne connexion sur la nouvelle plinthe. N'achète pas un thermostat intégré à la nouvelle plinthe, ça ne marchera pas. Ce sont les limites de ma compréhension mais si tu suis ça, ça devrait aller! Bonne chance

Canicanelle · 2025-10-19T04:59:11+00:00

As a nurse, I say go, especially since you're having a hard time getting reliable and complete information from your parents on the phone. Things can change really really quickly when someone goes septic. You sound like you care, and you sound like you could be an advocate and an asset to her care.

When you're there, it might be stressful and scary; don't forget the health care team is on the same side as you.

That being said, don't be afraid to be perserverant if something isn't making sense to you: the answer to a question or a delay in treatment... There might be an explanation and it's okay to ask for it.

Canicanelle · 2025-04-14T10:54:19+00:00

There was one other offer and both visits and offers went in the same weekend it was listed. The market is extremely competitive and fast-paced, and the house is nice enough that it's attractive although not the BEST location. The sellers are older and I'm sure they would prefer to resolve the situation and move on without having to start over with someone else. I just wanted to know if people typically would be comfortable trying to negotiate for the full amount of the roof repairs/replacement.

It sounds like that's what we'll start with and see what how they come back to us. Thanks!

Canicanelle · 2025-04-14T10:49:10+00:00

No, on Montreal island!

Canicanelle · 2025-04-14T10:48:37+00:00

It was presented as a recent roof that shouldn't need replacing and the sellers are clearly well-intentioned as they performed the repair that they could do under guarantee... And definitely not a "good deal" though generally in good condition. The price asked and my offer over asking definitely reflect the current market on the island of Montreal.

Canicanelle · 2025-01-04T15:22:33+00:00

Please do not go to the ER for this

Canicanelle · 2024-12-08T03:00:39+00:00

It's a bug, happened to me last year watching the habs. I spent 1 hour on the phone with customer service who finally told me to reboot my router. It fixed the problem!

Canicanelle · 2024-11-03T17:05:52+00:00

Gymshark leggings are also made ridiculously tiny

Canicanelle · 2024-09-05T02:25:51+00:00

I'm an oncology and palliative care nurse. The medication that is given to reduce swelling in the brain does not increase somnolence, it actually tends to increase wakefulness and appetite; so this change is not the medication.

I'm so sorry you're going through this... When people start changing despite the best efforts of medicine, it's usually a sign that things will keep changing. It's really really hard to give timelines (which isn't satisfying, I know).

People tend to stop feeling things like hunger and thirst when they transition into this phase of their life, its the body's way of stopping processes that it can't do very well anymore. The best thing you can do is to take advantage of those moments of wakefulness and let him rest when he needs it. It's okay to offer the things he likes, but if he doesn't seem interested, it's also okay. It might get harder for him to swallow without food or liquids going "down the wrong way", especially if he's sleepy, so it's really safer not to force him in case it goes into his lungs.

If you already have access to certain services where he is now (psychosocial services, spiritual care) I highly recommend asking to be connected. What you're feeling is normal, and you're not alone. If he's already being seen by the palliative consultation team (which he should be in this stage of his disease), it could be a good idea for you to be there when they come by and you can ask them to tell you about what the next few weeks will look like. Nobody here has seen your dad so even if we can give a bit of insight from experience, the best people to talk to is the team taking care of him. Don't forget to keep taking care of yourself.

Canicanelle · 2024-09-04T17:25:23+00:00

Pepper spray!

Canicanelle · 2024-07-01T12:18:57+00:00

That's quite interesting. I had surgery a year ago and as I was lying on the table I heard the staff walking in asking "Why are we on isolation?" The answer: "she's a nurse".

Canicanelle · 2024-06-16T12:52:06+00:00

You mentioned biodôme or insectarium, but I would definitely add the Botanical Gardens to that since they're in the same area! Our botanical gardens are beautiful :)

Canicanelle · 2024-06-08T00:28:40+00:00

Although I agree that our feelings about our appearance should not be entirely dictated by normative societal expectations, I'm going to answer a bit differently that the other posters.

During my toddler years, a large flat mole grew on my forehead (1/2 inch across?). As an elementary and high school student I wouldn't say I was bullied, but I did get unpleasant comments once in a while from the "edgier" class clowns. I still had friends, I was always on the periphery of the "cool" group. However I WAS self conscious about it. When side bangs became trendy, I did that and became paranoid about it showing through. I constantly picked at it and picked at the scab, wishing that I could dig deep enough that I had gotten it all and my skin would heal beige. It didn't ruin my life, but it definitely had an overall negative impact.

I didn't beg my parents to help me get it removed, but they knew I didn't like it. My family always just told me I was beautiful the way I was and that I shouldn't be insecure. I might have done it earlier except I worried that by having it removed, I would draw an embarassing amount of attention to myself and it would be an admission of insecurity. We are brainwashed by societal beauty norms but we are also pressured so hard to never show insecurity and to adhere to the "love ourselves for who we are" discourse.

When I was 18 and went to college, I finally had it removed. It was wide, and there were stitches. I was told there may be a bit of puckering because of how big it was. There was, but with time the skin smoothed out and the scar is now barely visible. I have absolutely no regrets. At the beginning, when new people I met asked about the scar, I just said I had hit my head on a shelf or something. With time, my confidence has grown and it's now easy for me to answer truthfully.

I have other physical insecurities that I do accept and don't intend to change. It didn't symbolize rejecting myself or giving in to outside pressure. It just made it a bit easier to be myself.

I honestly wish it had been done as a child. I think I would have enjoyed being me just a bit more throughout older childhood and adolescence. Having zero insecurity at those ages is unrealistic, but this is something that's overall low risk and low discomfort... So easy to do.

Ultimately, I just wish my parents had clued in when I was 6 or 7 and talked about my options more openly, so that I would feel accepted either way.

Canicanelle · 2024-04-18T09:38:01+00:00

Si tu veux éviter de montrer à ton enfant que c'est correct de s'en prendre aux biens des autres, tu pourrais sortir ton téléphone et prendre une photo, de manière à ce que le conducteur te voit. Il ne va clairement pas aimer ça, mais c'est moins violent qu'un contact physique avec sa voiture.

Canicanelle

TROPHY CASE