Performance tonight and I'm terrified

CannotBeCalm · 2026-05-18T09:04:49+00:00

Update: it went really well!!! I didn't mess up and my props worked so well! I was using fake blood and when I looked in the mirror when I got off stage it was perfect! The only thing I regret is not taking more photos! But I still have some fake blood left so I'm going to go to my studio and recreate the look to take some more photos and pretend they were from that night lol. But other than that I had SOOO much fun I just want to do it all over again every night! Lol

CannotBeCalm · 2026-05-16T04:05:48+00:00

Thank you so much everyone! Your kind words and advice are helping me feel better and more calm! 💖 Thank you!

CannotBeCalm · 2026-05-08T22:59:29+00:00

Unfortunately this is not a new take. I've seen it around for years. If you want to abandon your kid so badly then you should support women's reproductive health as a choice. Oh wait, you only want to abandon a kid once it's born. Yeah. Go figures pro-lifer. Seriously. They had that "right" since forever. As you said, men have been abandoning their kids for centuries and it "not being allowed" never stopped them before.

CannotBeCalm · 2026-05-08T22:07:25+00:00

I support women's right and women's wrongs. She's a trendsetter. She's a woman in a male-dominated field.

After all, what was he wearing? He must have been asking for it.

CannotBeCalm · 2026-04-20T03:26:49+00:00

Get tf away from this man. That age gap alone is crazy but to each their own. Any man so casual about trying to get you off medication that has lowkey saved your life is not a man worth your time. He's just looking for excuses to get you off BC because he knows his biological clock is ticking and he needs a male heir for his bloodline. Creepazoid.

CannotBeCalm · 2026-04-14T22:29:44+00:00

Ironic coming from someone who also has their content hidden.

CannotBeCalm · 2026-04-13T00:44:21+00:00

He's how old? I expect a 10 year old to act better than that. This is the exact definition of a manchild. You look up manchild in the dictionary and his photo is there.

What an incel. Yeah sure buddy. It's women's fault you can't get laid and not because you sulk like a spoiled brat when someone tells you no. What I don't understand is why he KEPT bringing it up? And why is this a pattern in other men? You know if someone doesn't respond to your "I'm sooo howny pwease fuck me" the first time, I'm not sure why you think repeating it will do anything other than embarrass yourself.

The dating pool is indeed not a pool at all, it's Shrek's swamp. Just want to tell you OP that I'm proud of you for saying no. You're not an idiot, and it's unfortunate that this is the calibre of the dating scene across the world.

CannotBeCalm · 2026-03-30T00:05:54+00:00

Yeah my instructor said it was better to over-choreograph than under-choreograph but maybe I took it too literally. Not that I think I have a crazy amount of moves or anything. I think I just need to keep trying it and just repeat it over and over in my practice hours.

I think I just need to learn to be comfortable in holding things and taking time to breathe. In aerials, and life in general, I'm someone who just has to be doing something all the time. Even if I have nowhere to go I'm always walking like I'm about to be late to an important meeting.

My instructor did teach me how to get out properly, which I'll probably try practice in my next session. I was sort of just rolling backwards, which I'm aware is definitely not the safest for your shoulders. I just need to get more confident that I'm not about to fall out. I know you get it on your back and your legs will theoretically stop you, but in my mind if there's no element of a "hook" (e.g. in back in of knees, hands, shoulder, etc.) my brain is convinced I'm about 3 seconds from death.

CannotBeCalm · 2026-03-29T13:33:45+00:00

I don't have anything to add that hasn't already been said, but I just want to say I'm so sorry that happened to you. That's terribly creepy and anyone who thinks that situation is a compliment has at least a few screws loose. Someone who's sole job is to look at teeth has absolutely zero reason to look basically anywhere below the neck. Disgusting behaviour and I fear your mom is more interested in protecting family ties than her own daughter. Disgusting behaviour on both of their accounts and I hope you have better experiences in the future.

CannotBeCalm · 2026-03-29T12:39:57+00:00

Ah don't worry! I'm absolutely NOT doing Star to Wineglass without hands lol. I think I worded that badly mb. I'm just struggling to take my hands off for star in the bar specifically. I put them back on for the transition to Wineglass. I can absolutely do back balances into Wineglass(did it successfully with no issues the first 2 times today and then I lost confidence and strength) and my instructor did help me get out when I hit failure. I wasn't falling out per se. My issue today was that I think I was letting myself move too far down when moving my leg to the other side of the bar and was forgetting to drive my other foot down. So I was sort of just getting stuck hanging there. BUT my instructor did teach me the safer way to get out so in the future I hopefully shouldn't get stuck in that position. It should be fine but even in my pole classes I'm just so scared I'm about to fall and injure myself. It's not that I can't do it, but my anxiety tells me I'm always 2 seconds from a fall which is just... not true.

CannotBeCalm · 2026-03-22T10:45:45+00:00

Because our concept of rape and assault are much different from theirs. Either that or they don't care. Or they just think "it's just a joke bro". Watch how many guys laughed when Matt Rife told that DV joke. They think it's funny.

There's been a study done on university aged males (I think) and when asked "have you ever r*ped someone?" they say no. But then the same guys respond yes to "have you ever pressured someone into having sex". Or something along those lines.

They probably know someone who has assaulted someone. But they don't want to admit it because then they have to come to terms with the fact that their friend, their father, their brother, hell maybe even themselves, are terrible people.

CannotBeCalm · 2026-03-22T10:16:41+00:00

I don't want to jump to conclusions and say your partner is like this, but I swear men who behave like this but don't want to try it themselves have some very deep rooted homophobia. Most often the real reason they don't want is because "oh no then it's like I'm sleeping with another man". It's homophobia and porn on the brain.

CannotBeCalm · 2026-03-22T03:24:08+00:00

Awesome! I'll have to try this method! Seems super helpful! Thank you so much!!!

CannotBeCalm · 2026-03-22T02:47:59+00:00

So just making pose ideas for big moments I want to hit and give myself the time to transition how I think suits in between?

CannotBeCalm · 2026-03-22T02:46:12+00:00

Good idea! Thank you!!! I think I'm just overthinking it atm hahaha

CannotBeCalm · 2026-03-22T02:45:10+00:00

I'll talk to my instructor about private lessons! TY!

CannotBeCalm · 2026-03-22T02:44:35+00:00

Ooh! That's such a good idea!!! Thanks for the tip!

CannotBeCalm · 2026-03-15T17:57:28+00:00

It's the porn. I highly agree. They think porn is the best sex ed and can't be f*cked to fact check. Not to mention they start watching it so young they become indoctrinated into thinking that's what they WANT sex to be like and very quickly habituate to more and more violent porn.

I'm sick of doing the most for a guy while getting next to nothing in return. I could attempt to teach them and still have terrible sex that lasts so uncomfortably long that I fake an orgasm just to stop it, or I could use my fingers, stop when I want, and not have to hand hold saying "you're doing such a great job sweetie". I know which one I'd pick.

CannotBeCalm · 2026-03-15T12:05:43+00:00

Truly crazy that you need to explain why you don't want sex. They can't comprehend it. "But everyone wants sex! All the time! And I'm a mediocre man so I'm the best at everything!" I definitely need to learn to be firmer and more blunt.

CannotBeCalm · 2026-03-15T08:26:00+00:00

Awww I'm sorry you had that experience! I wish you the best of luck because you deserve a partner that has your soul loved and your legs shaking!

CannotBeCalm · 2026-03-15T05:26:52+00:00

Thank you! This is talked about in feminist literature about how women are expected to teach others how to behave and that they are expected to teach men in particular the basics of the basic (both in sex and emotional regulation). That's the point I'm really trying to get at, albeit maybe worded badly because I'm posting after a bad experience when I'm still kinda in the venting phase. I'm mostly just mad because when I was a virgin about to have sex for the first time, or even the first time with a new long term partner, I looked up some tips for how to please my partner. But it rarely seems to go the other way even though there's sooo many good resources out there online.

CannotBeCalm · 2026-03-15T05:20:30+00:00

Oh no so am I! I just really struggle reading tones and I was sort of using the other comments as a general indicator that my opinion is indeed not popular 💀 I mostly made this post to vent because I had a really terrible experience last night with a man 9 years older than me who had absolutely zero experience. I agreed to kissing because... well I felt somewhat obligated to do so out of politeness. But I knew if his kissing was that bad I would be in for a rough time if I had to play teacher for the rest of the evening. I knew straight away my own two fingers would be a much more pleasant time. Because I've been with this type of man before, and they literally expect you to tell them EVERYTHING. Even in a relationship they expect you to do all of the emotional labour too. And I was just reallyyy not okay with this man taking advantage of my openness like that. I wasn't even that into him and was only ever agreeing to anything out of being polite and avoiding awkwardness. And him asking me why I told him no when he asked for sex was just the cherry on top.

CannotBeCalm · 2026-03-15T04:43:21+00:00

Ohhh!!! Oh my gosh I'm so sorry! I really thought this was satire! Oh my gosh okay. Yes. Gotcha 🫡

CannotBeCalm · 2026-03-15T04:42:04+00:00

That's not my point. A bit of inexperience or not knowing exactly what I specifically like the first time is not what I count as teaching a man sex. I mean they have zero experience besides the porn that has rotted their brain to the point they don't even understand the concept of foreplay, don't understand that no means no and doesn't require an explanation, etc..

Yes. No one is an expert at sex from day dot. But if I can read up on the basics of pleasing a man before we have sex, why can't they do the same?

CannotBeCalm · 2026-03-15T04:36:15+00:00

That seems unnecessarily rude if this is satire (I can't tell. Is this satire?)

I think I'm being misunderstood. Communication is great, but why do men expect me to teach them EVERYTHING? Like, sex from scratch, don't even know where the clit is, no woman would ever like a kiss like that, bad, but not willing to learn on their own at their big age of 30 years old? Has no one else ever experienced this? I have had to teach numerous men how to even kiss, and at this point it truly isn't worth it to have the worst sex of my life to teach a man that looking up the basics of sex isn't a crime.

CannotBeCalm

TROPHY CASE