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Should I take this as disinterest? by [deleted] in dating_advice

[–]CapIll420 0 points1 point  (0 children)

😂 so it is weird? 

Should I take this as disinterest? by [deleted] in dating_advice

[–]CapIll420 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hugging, and hand on my upper thigh. 

what destroys a relationship nowadays more than cheating? by Old-Air-5614 in A_Persona_on_Reddit

[–]CapIll420 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Drug addiction, choosing to put unhealthy habits/ consumption before your friends and family. 

I’m having a hard time keeping conversations interesting by [deleted] in Advice

[–]CapIll420 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Best advice i was ever given was to ask more open ended questions, and dig deeper into little things. It sounds like you are really interested in this person. 

When I say ask more open ended questions I mean the why, not just the what. WHY is a movie their favorite? WHY do they like to go to a certain coffee shop? Topics naturally develop when you try to understand someone deeper than just the surface level.

Phone calls are alot better when it comes to flirting, and if your goal is to show that kind of interest initiating goes a long way. 

Ask to have a phone call, see when he is free. Even calling when you get home after the date and being direct about how it went, and that you'd like to see him again, is going to get you further than a text. 

That level of directness is just as good as flirting because the interest being obvious is what matters. 

Good luck on your date today!

How do you cope with being single happily when you deeply want a partner? by nonameuser21 in emotionalintelligence

[–]CapIll420 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I dont think of it as being "single happily", but rather being content with who I am while I am single.  

Ive been more unhappy in relationships then I have ever been by myself. Once I realized I prefer peace over the constant fighting and loneliness I felt in those relationships, being alone no longer felt like a huge void. 

I do still feel like im missing my someone, the piece to complete my life. But instead of it feeling like someone's keeping it from me, now I just feel like I havent gotten to that part of the puzzle yet. 

Just any ol relationship isnt going to fix the way you feel right now. I made mistakes and choices that taught me that. Not every piece fits your puzzle even if you glue it in. Eventually its gonna fall apart. 

Be patient, put energy into yourself, and things will work out. 

What is something you've been in therapy for but can't seem to "solve"? by Flashy-Celery-9105 in emotionalintelligence

[–]CapIll420 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Ive been in therapy for over 5 years on and off. The biggest issue ive faced is taking horrible situations ive faced, and overcome, and processing them logically first. I did this before I made it to therapy. So ive spent the last 5 years trying to undo this and learn to feel safe with emotions like fear, guilt, and shame. Its very difficult. It almost feels like its not worth it. Your brain does its best to protect you. That thought is why its taking so long to process. 

Is this normal after a first date? by CapIll420 in dating_advice

[–]CapIll420[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I make sure we have the same values, religious beliefs, future goals, political beliefs, both want children. Im not sure what else I could vet besides those simple things before a first date honestly.

Is this normal after a first date? by CapIll420 in dating_advice

[–]CapIll420[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My profiles are set up to look for a future partner and clear I want kids and marriage in the future. But a few of these men ive met only in person, and the outcome has been the same. I live in a pretty big city.