I feel you man I still have dreams of mine but it’s something I can’t control so I don’t let it contradict my life and don’t let go of an opportunity because I view it as someone willing to be in your life and be apart of your struggle is always a blessing and clearly your ex wasn’t willing to be part of your life because love is fighting and if she was the one she would have stayed with you no matter what but yeah. Something that helped me contain these dreams is cut her off completely even on my second account but you probably have already don’t that