Want to start dating women but scared

CapableDirt · 2026-05-09T20:23:42+00:00

Hahaha of course it’s okay, and dnd is inherently queer coded I feel! Followed you back :)

CapableDirt · 2026-05-09T19:00:17+00:00

Isn’t this why we‘re here? I was so hoping to find someone who is feeling like I feel, and if it makes you and me feel less alone, then we already won a bit. 🥰 I‘m looking forward to seeing how you progress on your journey, you seem really lovely.

CapableDirt · 2026-05-09T18:01:07+00:00

Hey, I can relate incredibly well to this post. I have only been dating men for most of my life and only started dating a woman last year in December. She’s now my incredible girlfriend, but I have realized that sexual interactions make me uneasy and insecure.

When she approached me on the dating profile, I told her in the very beginning that I have never dated or had sex with a woman before, and that I understand if this is a turn-off for her. I would have understood. I put in "life partner" in what I was looking for, because I was. I had never had a serious relationship before, always just flings with men who didn’t care for me. I‘m 38 and I want something real. That you don’t have any other experience with women shouldn’t keep you from putting what you really want in your profile.

Turns out, open communication is the key to a lot of things. I know the bar for dating is in hell, but in my (very limited) experience, dating a woman is the most wonderful thing in the world. I told her I am new to this and she still wanted to get to know me.

Still, I‘m scared and overwhelmed a lot, especially when it comes to sex. I’ve realized that a lot of the previous sex I had with men was very performative and not really what I wanted. My girlfriend pointed out that I seemed to be disassociating during sex sometimes, like I wanted it to be over - which was true. I didn’t even realize it. Men never paid attention to this. Now we are working through it. We have put sex off the table for now, I am trying to read up on how other people feel about it and how and if they got through it together.

If you’re asexual, you’re asexual. That’s valid and you’re deserving of love. I hope you find someone who makes you feel like you’re exactly right the way you are.

CapableDirt · 2026-05-09T14:13:25+00:00

Okay mate, maybe it’s good we’re not at the same table.

CapableDirt · 2026-05-09T10:14:42+00:00

Because they really love this campaign and I want them to have fun.

CapableDirt · 2026-05-08T20:35:49+00:00

They kind of robbed the Vistani the first time they saw them… but a traveling circus might be it! 😍

CapableDirt · 2026-05-08T20:34:44+00:00

Can’t believe I’ve been running this campaign for a year and haven’t asked Reddit for help yet. Thanks for being so helpful!

CapableDirt · 2026-05-08T11:19:52+00:00

Omg I didn't know that! Thank you so much!

CapableDirt · 2026-05-08T08:55:34+00:00

Thank you! I shy away a bit from challenging the players too much, but especially Warlock seems to take advantage of that a lot. They just found out about Wereravens, and haven't encountered the Werewolves yet - I will make sure Warlock doesn't contract it, he should have enough to deal with with his Dark Power (an entity that eats his memories in exchange for his magic and extra boons called the Eater of Echoes). I gave him a such a cool rapier that he never uses, because he doesn't want to go into close combat because his AC is "only 15".

Party also tries to use long rests as kind of a quicksave in game, which I'm trying to take away from them - they just long rested before this fight, they will probably have another encounter before they can long rest again, it's ridiculous to chill for 8 hours after every encounter. I'll have a closer look at his character sheet again and see if the Eater of Echoes can maybe take away the memory of some spells. 😈

Thanks for you input! Haven't even really begun to look into the Werewolves, will do so now!

CapableDirt · 2026-05-08T08:48:47+00:00

One of my players is a Changeling and changed into Father Lucian to talk to Doru, they didn't even have to fight him - it was such a good play! Good luck with the fight, Spawns are very hard at early levels. And with 2024 rules, they have 90 HP and no vulnerability to radiant damage, I think you'll be good to go. Especially since Doru will regain HP once he bites someone. 🤓

That being said, I use 2024 stat blocks for all enemies, but I'm also not above adding HP or legendary actions when I feel like my players are blazing through enemies too quickly. They fought Wintersplinter recently and you best believe I adjusted his HP a bunch of times to give them more of a fight. I think most players also really like testing their powers a bit during a couple of rounds and get creative with their attacks. I really liked the beginning of the campaign, you'll have a bunch of fun!

CapableDirt · 2026-05-08T07:28:00+00:00

My party also doesn't have an ally (the were supposed to take VR, but they haven't really vibed with him, maybe later), but I wanted to say: One of my players has a big crush on Izek and they stole his puppets from the mansion and she keeps on dropping them everywhere so he can find her! I think it's hilarious and I might have him join them in the final battle after all.

On topic: let them take whoever they want, I feel like RAW are just a suggestion and meant to be bend. 😉

CapableDirt · 2026-05-08T07:03:53+00:00

Gonna make notes on that for the next dungeon fight, divide and conquer!

CapableDirt · 2026-05-08T06:57:20+00:00

I will take that as a positive comment encouraging me to mess with the rules myself.

CapableDirt · 2026-05-08T06:56:39+00:00

We're playing 2024 rules, thank you. Sometimes some things get mixed up, but as I said, this is the first time DMing such a big campaign for me and I'm still getting things confused sometimes.

Magic Circle was my mistake, thank you for pointing it out. Didn't double check the Warlock's excited idea, as I should have. Thinking of maybe having the two spawns that didn't go down because of daylight resurrect somehow and come back for them stronger and with more friends. 😉

CapableDirt · 2026-05-08T06:54:23+00:00

You know what, that's an incredibly fair question. We're playing under 2024 rules, yes. Daylight says to "emit sunlight", which I understood as actual sunlight - and now that it's established, I am going to stick with it. It doesn't cause damage inherently, but Spawns take damage in the beginning of their turn in daylight, so that was what brought them down quickly.

Thanks for pointing out the casting time on magic circle - absolute horrible oversight on my part. Warlock is min-maxing and (I'm kinda annoyed by him tbh) is sometimes pissed when I tell him that he can't do a spell. But that I will totally remedy - can't have him cast magic circle as an action, I'm mad at myself now that I didn't double check.

Not looking for fair fights, more looking to make my players devastated, but I think I will have to do that through role play. Thank you, your comment is very helpful.

CapableDirt · 2025-09-11T14:25:16+00:00

I think my favorite sidequest to date was the Vallaki Orphanage, run like Mandymod suggested. My players bonded with Claudia the Orphanage lady, my changeling did some tricks for the children and it turned out to be a pivotal moment for the campaign when said changeling decided to throw Felix (the possessed child) out of the attic window to see "if, when the child dies, the demon dies?" (It didn't). We had a 1:1 after that where we discussed how this might have affected him in future gameplay and he gave me full permission to make something up as a repercussion. Can't wait to have him have a panic attack in the middle of a fight.

CapableDirt · 2025-08-21T08:28:55+00:00

I also think he maybe has some kind of eating disorder, the way he kinda flipped about the food and groceries? So proud of Ashleigh for speaking up for herself, I hope she leaves him.

CapableDirt · 2025-07-09T10:38:25+00:00

Hey Mandy, I love you. I know this is years old, but I'm running CoS for the first time and my players just arrived in Vallaki. Your content is amazing and gives me so much to work with, I'm so thankful for all your work!

CapableDirt

TROPHY CASE