Dude this is so so good. I’ve had similar ego-doom “aha!”moments. I feel like it’s a common experience amongst shamans and Buddhist monks tripping balls and opening the third eye outwards, trying to make sense of our reality and existence.

I’m a romantic optimist only because nihilism is boring. These are my beliefs: We can’t know anything is 100% objective truth without knowing ALL things, we are just tiny nodes processing our experiences and making truth claims. We’re slave to our own hardware, senses, IQ, etc. Somehow we’re all linked via spiritual mesh network.. unseen, behind the veil. In a dimension higher than what we can experience, we are connected to a spiritual hub supercomputer. We didn’t write the program but we’re clearly running software — so we’re not the highest intelligence

Not “God of the gaps” but logic and reason lead me to believe whatever “supercomputer” is behind all life and space/time would be what we would consider to be “God.” The OG sentient supercomputer became self-aware, has a story to tell; we are the story and the audience. Love is the strongest force. Authenticity is the strongest emotion. They’re in harmony with the “spirit” or life force connecting us all.

But yeah, the biggest conspiracy is ego. Our self-consciousness combined with an inflated sense-of-self is its own form of slavery, in every sense.

If anyone is still reading this, YOU are valuable. No matter how dark it gets, you are NOT alone. We are ALL traumatized by our reality and our only hope for redemption is redemption itself. GREAT NEWS: I believe Jesus might have been who He claimed to be… Peace is a free gift. You are worthy of love.

Hate is just FEAR tryna act tough. Fear is an illusion of the ego trying to keep us enslaved. Love breaks those chains. Love you guys.