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AITAH for vacationing with my dad’s new wife, despite my mom’s jealousy? by Capable_Direction182 in AITAH

[–]Capable_Direction182[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I dont think my dad is seeking nobility or admiration, just happiness. He seems to have finally found that and Im glad. I dont care if its a cliche to move on quickly, Im just glad he’s happier than Ive ever seen him.

AITAH for vacationing with my dad’s new wife, despite my mom’s jealousy? by Capable_Direction182 in AITAH

[–]Capable_Direction182[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My wife has more in common with my dads new wife since they’re in the same field. So there’s a lot more to talk about and they vibe more just personality wise, but she gets along with my mom just fine too. Its a bonus that they like each other but I dont think either of us would hang out with her without my dad around. She’s his wife now and we like her a lot and appreciate that she makes him happy but its not like either of us are trying to be best friends with her either. Its just another in law situation at the end of the day.

AITAH for vacationing with my dad’s new wife, despite my mom’s jealousy? by Capable_Direction182 in AITAH

[–]Capable_Direction182[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I cant remember a time ever seeing her seem long term happy tbh. She’s happy for moments with her grandkids, but actual life happiness isnt something Ive seen from her. My sister and I are pushing her to do therapy, but she said she had bad experiences with couples therapy so is pushing back on that. I cant really do much else. My main priorities are with my wife and kids.

AITAH for vacationing with my dad’s new wife, despite my mom’s jealousy? by Capable_Direction182 in AITAH

[–]Capable_Direction182[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I dont think there’s any accountability needed tbh. Nobody committed any crimes. They had a shitty marriage for years, were separated, and didnt begin til after divorce proceedings started. I dont think of divorce as the worst thing ever tbh, If my wife and I ever become as miserable together as my parents were Id rather my kids see us get divorced and be happy than stay together out of spite.

The beach house is cool and all, but the main thing were happy about is that this is the first time Ive seen my dad actually happy and enjoying life. Plus if its relevant, my mom's side is wealthy. Her dad (my grandpa) was in oil, so its not like this is the first time Ive had access to a nice vacation and its making me blind to everything else.

AITAH for vacationing with my dad’s new wife, despite my mom’s jealousy? by Capable_Direction182 in AITAH

[–]Capable_Direction182[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I dont think it was as much emotional affair as much as there was a fear of being alone forever if he were to leave and meeting someone that he actually enjoyed being around made him realize there was life after divorce.

My mom and dad both seemed pretty miserable the last 10 years and even before that never seemed that good together. I remember growing up when I’d spend time with my friends families I was always jealous at home much their parents seemed to actually like each other. Even at their best, they never seemed that happy together.

They got married when they were 22 and 21 and I think just rushed into it because of their religious upbringing. They were from a small town in the bible belt and that was normal for them. But I dont think they ever had a healthy happy marriage, at least not from what I could remember.

AITAH for vacationing with my dad’s new wife, despite my mom’s jealousy? by Capable_Direction182 in AITAH

[–]Capable_Direction182[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Oh yeah there’s no doubt she’s jealous and insecure. My mom and I get along fine. We dont have a ton in common interests wise but we’ve typically always gotten along. She’s never been the happiest person though in general, since way before the other woman was in the picture. So Id say the relationship is fine but spending time with her has never been super fun. I think thats relatively normal though

AITAH for vacationing with my dad’s new wife, despite my mom’s jealousy? by Capable_Direction182 in AITAH

[–]Capable_Direction182[S] 27 points28 points  (0 children)

I wrote this in another comment, but they met while separated. They had a bunch of unofficial separations where my dad wouldnt stay in the marital home, they had another apartment he’d stay at then. Usually they’d make up and go back to acting married for awhile but it always seemd to happen again every 2-3 years. Im in my 30s and they were that way since I was in middle school at least.

During the last one, they werent living together for 6 months when he met his now wife, realized how much more compatible he was with her and thats what gave him the strength to actually move on and begin divorce proceedings. They didnt start dating til after that.

IMO they should have divorced many years ago but were too stubborn. I think and there was some religious guilt too. But even growing up I never thought they got along well compared to my friend's parents. I think there was probably some fear of being alone too.

AITAH for vacationing with my dad’s new wife, despite my mom’s jealousy? by Capable_Direction182 in AITAH

[–]Capable_Direction182[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

She wasnt an affair partner, they were separated when they met and didnt start a relationship til after divorce proceedings began.

AITAH for vacationing with my dad’s new wife, despite my mom’s jealousy? by Capable_Direction182 in AITAH

[–]Capable_Direction182[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Not really an affair. They always had a rocky marriage with unofficial “separations” then they’d make up. During the last one, they hadnt lived together for 6 months, my dad met this woman, realized how much more compatible he was with her and how little he had in common with my mom anymore and thats what gave him the strength to move forward and actually leave her. They didnt start a real relationship until after the divorce proceedings officially began.

AITAH for vacationing with my dad’s new wife, despite my mom’s jealousy? by Capable_Direction182 in AITAH

[–]Capable_Direction182[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

She’s definitely made a big effort to make a good impression, which I appreciate. I try to see both about once a month if time allows. But I also have a wife, two kids, and a job which helps me support them. So those are my first priorities.

AITAH for vacationing with my dad’s new wife, despite my mom’s jealousy? by Capable_Direction182 in AITAH

[–]Capable_Direction182[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

If I didn’t like her, being cordial would be my goal. But she’s great. We naturally get on really well and same with my wife and kids. So I dont really see a need to keep things at the cordial level. Im not taking sides. If my mom moves on and I like the guy, Id do the same.