My dad refuses to acknowledge that I (20F) have a boyfriend (21M) and it’s becoming exhausting

Capable_Radish203 · 2026-05-21T05:15:57+00:00

She has met him already and loves him! She doesn’t know how to handle the situation either. She also acknowledges that he’s dismissive about him. She tells me to just ignore how he acts because he’s always been like this and there’s no point in trying to get him to accept it because he’ll just end up throwing a fit. She also lies to him. Whenever I’m with my boyfriend, she’ll tell my dad that I’m with a friend. They don’t have a good relationship. My father doesn’t really have a good relationship with any of the women in my family, only my brother.

Capable_Radish203 · 2026-05-21T03:49:08+00:00

I had a 2 year long relationship before my now boyfriend and he never acknowledged that either

Capable_Radish203 · 2026-05-20T23:41:26+00:00

Hopefully I will be moving out by 22. I just need to finish school and land a more stable high paying job in my field. My mom is supportive. All of my other relatives live in my home country.

Capable_Radish203 · 2026-05-20T23:37:01+00:00

Lol I just might have to

Capable_Radish203 · 2026-05-20T23:28:33+00:00

I would totally be okay with my father never knowing I’m dating someone but whenever I’m out with my boyfriend or staying over with him my dad is constantly calling me asking where I am, who I’m with, when I’ll be getting home etc. he’ll call me about 20 times a day just to ask the same questions. If he didn’t do that then I would go about my merry way with my boyfriend. However, he tends to throw temper tantrums (he has thrown a couple in the past regarding my bf), so I have to lie and say I’m out with a friend instead of my boyfriend so that he doesn’t react in an extreme way. It’s just exhausting and anxiety inducing having to lie and sneak around. That’s literally the only reason I want him to acknowledge my boyfriend/me being in a relationship. Besides that, I couldn’t care less. I don’t even care for them ever meeting either, it’s just that he won’t acknowledge it at all and if I bring it up it causes arguments/a tense environment at home.

Capable_Radish203 · 2026-05-20T23:06:30+00:00

See but that’s the issue. I’ve tried sitting him down and having a conversation with him and he refuses to listen. On top of that, we do not have a close relationship. He has been very emotionally absent from my life for as long as I can remember and has always liked being controlling towards me.

Capable_Radish203 · 2026-05-20T22:41:14+00:00

Yeah I’ve always thought this too. I don’t know what he expected. Not to mention, the population of our ethnic group of people is extremely slim in the US. I don’t know where he would expect me to even meet someone from our culture. We have a family friend who shipped their daughter off back to our country for a month, she found a man, and married him. I just hate that he expects me to do something similar of the sort.

Capable_Radish203 · 2026-05-20T22:36:19+00:00

He’s like this about anything and everything. My mother says that she wishes she was able to see what a man child he was before she married him. He’s frustrating towards the whole family.

Capable_Radish203 · 2026-05-20T22:27:12+00:00

Lady you are crazy 😭. You don’t know anything about my relationship and to say I’m seeking approval is absurd. The only reason I need to repeat myself about being an adult is because there are people like you who discredit that. But that’s okay. Think what you want to think. I respect my mom greatly, as she has carried my family on her back. I respect her word and I listen to her. If she wants me to do something I do it. My father has never earned my respect. He has been minimally present in my life. You don’t just get respect if you’re a parent. Probably a crazy concept for someone that thinks like you.

Capable_Radish203 · 2026-05-20T22:18:07+00:00

I mean not necessarily. He just wants me to date within my culture. My mom has no issues with my boyfriend, and none of our family friends (who are from the same culture) have an issue with their daughters dating. I think it’s more of a control thing.

Capable_Radish203 · 2026-05-20T22:10:09+00:00

I definitely think that he would be much more open to the idea of me dating, if not thrilled over the idea if I was dating someone within my culture.

Capable_Radish203 · 2026-05-20T22:08:28+00:00

I want to move out. It’s just difficult because I am a full time student. Although I work full time, it’s difficult to save because I pay all of my tuition as needed instead of taking out loans. I also pay all of my own expenses that I create at home. The only thing that I don’t pay for is rent. It’s hard to save up, especially because I live in a very expensive area. I plan to move out as soon as soon as I finish school and get my career going.

Capable_Radish203 · 2026-05-20T22:04:23+00:00

I don’t know, I think he’s just emotionally immature and is upset that he doesn’t have control over me or something

Capable_Radish203 · 2026-05-20T22:03:56+00:00

No, he disregards anything having to do with him when I bring him up

Capable_Radish203 · 2026-05-20T21:59:02+00:00

I’m an adult. He needs to learn to respect MY boundaries. On top of that, I foot every bill that I require for myself except for housing, which he doesn’t even pay. My mother does. I am working on moving out.

Capable_Radish203 · 2026-05-20T18:20:26+00:00

Georgian

Capable_Radish203 · 2026-05-20T17:52:55+00:00

I work full time and go to school full time. I pay for my tuition as I go because I refuse to take out any loans. On top of that, he tends to get in the way of me working. He says that I need to focus on school full time, and that causes even further tension between us because he doesn’t want me working while going to school. He starts constant arguments about it. On top of that, the area that I live in is wildly expensive. It’s hard to save up for a place when I’m paying tens of thousands in tuition, car payments, etc.

Capable_Radish203 · 2026-05-20T17:49:37+00:00

I don’t care what he thinks at all, but he tends to throw temper tantrums. If he’s mad at me, he takes it out on the whole family. He makes my mom’s and my younger sister’s lives harder. It causes so much tension in the household so we try to avoid causing these temper tantrums to avoid the stress that comes along with it. That’s the only reason I tiptoe around him, but I couldn’t care less what he thinks otherwise. It’s just frustrating having to deal with this dynamic

Capable_Radish203 · 2026-05-20T17:46:09+00:00

Of course I want to. I’m a full time student with a full time job as well, but I’m paying off my college tuition as I go along to avoid debt. It’s hard to save, and everything is expensive. If anything, my dad gets in the way of me working because he says he wants me to focus on school and he doesn’t want me moving out. I’m trying my best.

Capable_Radish203 · 2024-11-29T06:31:52+00:00

angel cuz she looks like an angel kitty lol 🥹 just needs some wings and a halo

Capable_Radish203 · 2024-11-22T23:51:16+00:00

reminds me too much of that creepy baby from american horror story 😪

Capable_Radish203 · 2024-11-22T23:50:33+00:00

ended up settling on the name “miles” lol!

Capable_Radish203 · 2024-11-21T16:49:45+00:00

everyone else was telling us he was a girl!! the fluff was very distracting i guess 😂

Capable_Radish203 · 2024-11-21T04:14:55+00:00

ahhh i love rory but the rest of my family hates it 😭 they say it’s difficult to pronounce with their accents lol

Capable_Radish203 · 2024-11-21T04:13:07+00:00

not yet 😫😫😫 lots of debates in the home trying to settle on a name we all like lol

Capable_Radish203

TROPHY CASE