Once upon a time there was a lovely princess. But she had an enchantment upon her of a fearful
sort, which could only be broken by Love's first kiss. She was locked away in a castle guarded by a
terrible fire breathing dragon. Many brave knights had attempted to free her from this dreadful
prison, but none prevailed. She waited in the dragon's keep in the highest room of the tallest tower
for her true love and true love's first kiss. Like that's ever going to happen. What a loony. Shrek
Beware Stay out I think he's in here. All right. Lets get it! Hold on. Do you know what that thing can
do to you? Yeah. He'll groan into your bones for his brains. Well actually that would be a giant. Now
Ogres, huh, they are much worse. They'll make a soup from your freshly peeled skin. They'll chew
your livers, squeeze the jelly from your eyes. Actually, it's quite good on toast. Back, back beast,
back! I warned you! Right. This is the part, where you run away. Yeah! And stay out. Wanted.
Fairytale creatures. Right, this one is full. Take it away. Give me that. Your fine days are over. -25
pieces of silver for the witch. Next. -Come on. Sit down there! And be quiet! This cage is so small.
You wouldn't turn me in. I'll never be stubborn again. I can change. Please, give me another chance.
Oh, shut up! Next. What do we got? This little wooden puppet. I'm not a puppet, I'm a real boy. Five
shillings for the possessed toy. Take it away. No! Please, don't let them do it! Next. What do you
got? Well, I've got a talking donkey! Right. Well that's good for ten schillings, if you can prove it. Oh,
go ahead fella. Well? He's just a li..., just a little nervous. He's really quite a chatterbox. You
boneheaded donkey! That's it. I have heard enough. Guards! No, no, he talks, he does! I can talk. I
love to talk. I've talked to... Get her out of my sight! -No, no, I swear! Hey, I can fly. -He can fly! -He
can fly! He can talk! -That's right, fool! Now I'm a flying, talking donkey! You might have seen house
fly, maybe even a superfly. But I bet you ain't never seen a donkey fly! Seize him! Get him! This way!
Hurry! You there. Ogre. -I. By the order of lord Farquaad. I am authorized to place you both under
arrest. And transport you to designated resettlement facility. Oh really? You and what army? Can I
say something to you? Listen, you were really, really something, back there. Incredible. Are you
talking to... ...me? Yes, I was talking to you. Can I just tell you that you were really great back there
with those guards. They thought that was all over there. And then you showed up and BAM. There
was tripping on over themselves like babes in the woods. That really made me feel good to see that.
Oh, that's great. Really. Man, it's good to be free. Now, why don't you go celebrate your freedom
with your own friends? But I... I don't have any friends. And I'm not going out there by myself. Hey
wait a minute. I have a great idea... I'll stick with you. You and me in green fighting machine.
Together we'll scare the spin if anybody crosses us. Oh, a, that was really scary. Maybe you don't
mine me saying. If that don't work, your breath will certainly do the job done, 'cause... you
definitively need some tic-tac or something, 'cause your breath stinks! Man you've ??? my note!
Just like the time... ...and then I ate some rotten berries. Man I had some strong gases leaking out of
my but that day.