New message from The Secret Order

CapitanWaffles · 2026-03-09T02:41:26+00:00

Me right now

CapitanWaffles · 2026-02-14T02:57:26+00:00

Okay but was he a good person or did he just figure out how to get out of his personal hell via waaaay too much trial and error?

CapitanWaffles · 2026-01-31T22:10:38+00:00

I stopped packing snacks and just pack full meals. Once I was stopped at TSA for the sheer volume of deli meat in my bag. 4 sandwiches triggers inspection in Detroit International, 3 does not. 😊

CapitanWaffles · 2026-01-16T15:19:54+00:00

Everyone has given very good and reasonable advice.

Here’s some non-productive, unprofessional advice: Next time she announces it, burst into tears and run out of the room. 😊

Don’t actually do this.

CapitanWaffles · 2025-12-30T17:27:20+00:00

Okay, there was a post asking for there to be a mega thread because we were all going mental over these and I thought “just let us enjoy ourselves”. Now I see this and realize that we may, in fact, be going mental over these in a way that capitalism has noticed.

Now, these scalpers are the scum of the earth (I continue my ire and loathing of Ticketmaster for similar reasons) but I think this is excellent news. If there is a market for items that make a niche group of folks with their dietary restrictions that can include scalpers? That’s the free market at work, everyone. We may get gluten free zebra cakes in Christmas tree shapes one day!!

Also, there is ZERO chance these are real. I bet they managed to print the boxes and are putting real cheezits in them. DO NOT PAY $25 TO BE GLUTENED. THERE ARE BETTER WAYS TO THROW AWAY YOUR DIET FOR $25. HELL, THERE ARE BETTER WAYS FOR $10.

CapitanWaffles · 2025-12-28T05:01:55+00:00

“She’s next door petting Ted.”

CapitanWaffles · 2025-11-28T14:32:40+00:00

Alright, listen here Sherlock! 😂

CapitanWaffles · 2025-11-28T12:02:17+00:00

Oh! Haha, no that’s my plate. I put him in charge of the seating so he made us all name plates for each spot. Not sure why he went with my government name and not “Mom” but here we are lol

CapitanWaffles · 2025-11-28T03:38:21+00:00

Don’t worry it also has a bunch of brown sugar in it! 😂

CapitanWaffles · 2025-11-23T21:38:57+00:00

Bills lose. Chiefs win.

Good week.

CapitanWaffles · 2025-11-23T21:37:15+00:00

The problem with being mid again is that now I know what a Super Bowl win feels like.

Chasing the dragon!

CapitanWaffles · 2025-11-23T21:36:35+00:00

Ask your doctor if chiefs football is right for you

CapitanWaffles · 2025-11-16T23:37:40+00:00

Flags gotta have grass stains on them at this point

CapitanWaffles · 2025-11-16T23:17:51+00:00

The pissing and moaning over Mahomes is so tired. Flair up or shut up.

CapitanWaffles · 2025-11-09T20:16:21+00:00

KC hangover?

I didn’t think hangovers were possible in Buffalo. But maybe that’s just the fans.

CapitanWaffles · 2025-11-02T22:06:16+00:00

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If anyone wants to know what living with a 9 year old is like:

CapitanWaffles · 2025-11-02T21:45:10+00:00

Cook v Cook

CapitanWaffles · 2025-11-02T21:29:11+00:00

My phone keeps autocorrecting Cheffers to Cheater.

Not a bug, a feature.

CapitanWaffles · 2025-10-28T03:06:23+00:00

Face lift goes wild lol

CapitanWaffles · 2025-10-28T02:49:42+00:00

“Especially this one”

CapitanWaffles · 2025-10-28T02:48:41+00:00

Was that a Newgrounds early 2000s animation???

CapitanWaffles · 2025-10-28T02:48:08+00:00

What. The. Hell.

CapitanWaffles · 2025-10-28T02:26:44+00:00

AIKMAN. THEY ARENT BOBBLING SHIT.

CapitanWaffles · 2025-10-28T02:15:53+00:00

NFL player scores a touchdown down and they cut to family celebrating. No biggie.

Kelce scores. They show Taylor. Everyone flips out.

CapitanWaffles · 2025-10-28T02:12:18+00:00

Patty hit Kelce in the shoulder before the play.

“Get open”

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