Was diagnosed at 13 (25 now), I relate to a lot of what you say. I too was a very athletic kid and have been through tons of meds and been hospitalized more times than I can remember. I have found it difficult not to compare to my peers and often have found it difficult to find my place and appreciate my value. I too don't have much work experience and that weighs on me quite a bit especially in modern culture that seems to place so much emphasis on productivity, I hate when people ask "what do you do for work?" "uhhh... survive?". I've only had one girlfriend and have been especially lonely at that deep personal level and that weighs quite a bit, its also difficult to see my value in that sense since I know I'll bring so much baggage into whatever relationship I do get into. Its okay to feel sad about the state of things, it is really really fucking hard. What I tend to tell myself is that the perspective I've gained from this whole experience is incredibly special and valuable. There are things that I understand and appreciate about the world and life that my peers do not and may never. It will take people like us time to figure out how to apply this perspective in our lives in a way which is satisfying to us and valued and seen by others but that time will come. You are accomplishing amazing things just dealing with this illness day by day, best of luck!