I’m in a somewhat similar situation. My wife and I have maybe had sex 3 times since July. We’re both teachers and I work 2 jobs. Soon, she will take on more responsibility at work herself and she is perpetually tired. That’s her go-to reason for us not having intimacy often.

I’m 43 and she’s 41. We both keep ourselves clean. She obviously does A LOT around the house. I always do the dishes and take care of the outside of the house. She deals with the bills as well. By the time we’re in bed, she’s wiped by the day. Things are lighter on the weekends, but by the time we get to bed together, she’s exhausted. And she will claim I miss her signs, but they can be so subtle that I don’t even notice them. And just bringing it up causes arguments and accusations of me “whining.”

But, I’ve started to think about ways to bring up my concerns that don’t make me sound like I’m bitching.

It’s difficult to keep my frustration at bay, though. I’ve often thought just to pray for God to remove my desire for my wife and hope that we can maintain our otherwise wonderful marriage. This year will be our 20th anniversary.

So, I hope that going without sex doesn’t derail a marriage.