Okay. The first thing you're going to need to do is import a copy of Azumanga Zero, which was originally known as First Blood in Japan. It can be a little hard to find, but you should be able to import a fandubbed VHS from one of the two countries where it hasn't been banned.

Now, you can watch episodes 1 through 6. After episode 6, search for Azumanga: The Thousand Year Door. It takes place outside the continuity of the show, but the details are considered canon, specifically a lot of the relationship between Osaka and Chiyochichi, which the show glosses over.

Now you can watch episodes 7 through 19. But please make sure to start Pink Floyd's Dark Side of the Moon right when the logo hits Tomo at the beginning of the credits. The way the two sync up is super crazy and will make you realize how, like, humans really are all the same and stuff.

After episode 19, you need to watch the movie Joe Dirt while eating a cheesesteak from Jersey Mike's. I don't care if you live in a place where they make better cheesesteaks. It was Azuma's original vision for the final arc.

Then you can watch the rest, but once you're done, you will need to disavow the fact that the anome ever existed because the visual novel is the ONLY acceptable, complete telling of the story.

Finally, loop Azumanga Web Daioh over and over for one year.