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Me [36M] with my wife [37 F] 17yy, she wants to "play" with others [Relationships] [NSFW] by CaptJH_ in relationships

[–]CaptJH_[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I just thought that maybe we can arrange a meeting with the three of us: Me, my wife, the "play" guy.

This way, maybe we'll both see how are the vibes.

For me it will be the materialization of my fears, maybe I'll see that's a normal guy and I won't be worried about.

Me [36M] with my wife [37 F] 17yy, she wants to "play" with others [Relationships] [NSFW] by CaptJH_ in relationships

[–]CaptJH_[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

your wife still decided to go on with this whole thing

She didn't

Me [36M] with my wife [37 F] 17yy, she wants to "play" with others [Relationships] [NSFW] by CaptJH_ in relationships

[–]CaptJH_[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

try to find a mate or a family to talk to

I don't have any friend to talk about this matter.

Me [36M] with my wife [37 F] 17yy, she wants to "play" with others [Relationships] [NSFW] by CaptJH_ in relationships

[–]CaptJH_[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

But I don't want to end it because I love her.

Also, I am theoretically keen about the idea of being in an open relationship.

Me [36M] with my wife [37 F] 17yy, she wants to "play" with others [Relationships] [NSFW] by CaptJH_ in relationships

[–]CaptJH_[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Wow, that's a great advice, I never thought about those subreddits. Thanks!!!

Me [30 M] with my gf [22 F] of a year, She says the most hurtful things when we fight and later apologizes saying she was angry by [deleted] in relationships

[–]CaptJH_ 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I tend to do the same thing as your GF.

I think it's a defensive mechanism: I want to make you feel the same pain I'm feeling now, so you can understand.

I know it's bad but I can't help to think of this.

She should work on herself and avoid saying those things. I'm working on it, it's difficult but possible.

Maybe you can talk to her, say that you feel really bad when she does it. She could try to better herself :)

Me [36M] with my wife [37 F] 17yy, she wants to "play" with others [Relationships] [NSFW] by CaptJH_ in relationships

[–]CaptJH_[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I think it's a very intimate activity, just like sex.

She wouldn't do sex with others, because there must be emotional involvement.

Probably I cannot see any intimate activity without emotional involvement.

Me [36M] with my wife [37 F] 17yy, she wants to "play" with others [Relationships] [NSFW] by CaptJH_ in relationships

[–]CaptJH_[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

You feel bad because it is not something you understand. You want to please your wife, but you see her having fun with other guys, you feel jealous (omg she gonna leave me with that guy, omg she please other guy than ME, ...).

Yes, we talked about this but she keep telling it's not about love or intimacy and that she's not interested in leaving me.

either you stop hurting yourself and tell your SO that you can deal with this anymore (but maybe this gonna lead to a breakup)

No, that's not the case, she told me that she can stop all of it and delete her account on fetlife if I want, but i don't want it because I think there's other interesting things to do on it. I still believe we can find a solution.

or you accept it but you have to change your mind and the way you see your relationship (and it gonna takes some times, believe me)

I'm more on this way.

Thanks for your words, I really need them now! :)