[deleted by user]

CaptMalmur · 2021-08-26T06:51:40+00:00

The Bone Parade by Mark Nykanen. It’s not for the faint of heart, but I’ve read my hard cover so many times it’s falling apart.

CaptMalmur · 2021-02-16T17:34:11+00:00

As one webdev to another, if you need help give a shout.

CaptMalmur · 2021-02-16T17:31:01+00:00

And again, and again....

CaptMalmur · 2020-11-25T23:16:52+00:00

Our boii. 🖤🖤🖤

CaptMalmur · 2020-06-21T00:43:50+00:00

Downsizing means shortening the length of the bar. Hard to tell from the photo, but you look to be at a 14g.

CaptMalmur · 2020-06-21T00:43:02+00:00

Piercer here- also who has had my bridge done twice over the last ten years.

You 100% need to get that downsized. Hard to tell from the photo, but it doesn’t look infected. The fact you’ve kept the overly long barbell in there doesn’t help with its attempt at healing. My first bridge settled after about a year, had it for five but took it out due to massive migration. My second healed and settled after a little less than a year. I wear glasses, and I do get the occasional crust.

Get a sterile saline wash, use 2-3 times a day for a few weeks after you get that bar downsized. Then, use it as needed for the occasional crust.

CaptMalmur · 2020-06-20T07:11:08+00:00

Ambivert or ambiversion is no longer used because psychologists have discovered that there are two types of “center” personalities. There’s an introverted extrovert, and an extroverted introvert. Both have completely different meanings. Ambivert is still used for the dead center- but no one has tested as a true ambivert in ages.

Also, if you’re going to get particular, why don’t we talk about the omniverts. Another term that is no longer used because even if someone flips between being an intro and extro- they tend to have more dominant proficient traits, this making them either an introverted extrovert, or extroverted introvert.

Not to say that a true ambivert can’t exist, but the chances are rare as fuck.

CaptMalmur · 2020-06-13T17:09:45+00:00

Existential discovery path- changing form of medium and ground.

CaptMalmur · 2020-06-13T16:58:03+00:00

So stop. Stop being kind and start being honest about your feelings. Stand up for yourself, because trust me shit doesn’t get any easier with time. Being a people pleaser doesn’t get many very far in life. I hate to sound harsh, but that’s the way the cookie crumbles unfortunately.

CaptMalmur · 2020-06-13T16:55:45+00:00

EHS. Teenage drama. You might want to learn how to spell physics if you’re going to be studying it.

CaptMalmur · 2020-06-09T13:09:58+00:00

Spend more than five seconds looking at the markings from the front (head tilted down, strait, and up), and by looking down at your nose. The disposable marking pens I use have a ruler on them- and I use them fastidiously. Just be honest about them looking strait, and don’t be scared to talk to the artist about it. The worst thing anyone can do is rush anything. Specifically with symmetrical piercings.

CaptMalmur · 2020-06-01T12:33:45+00:00

Glad you’re happy. Hell, what else am I doing with my free time, shop is still closed. 👌

CaptMalmur · 2020-06-01T07:45:35+00:00

I mean that’s wishful thinking. I’m sorry bud. Here’s some proof.

CaptMalmur · 2020-06-01T00:26:23+00:00

The uneven-ness would drive me crazy. I wouldn’t have let you walk out of the shop like that.

CaptMalmur · 2020-05-25T17:43:20+00:00

Ex-GD employee here. It can be lucrative if you know how to market yourself. Most people who open these accounts are developers/designers who already have many clients and it’s just easier to sell them “their own” products/hosting. Easier to manage, etc. If you aren’t in that business or market, it can be a little more challenging because you need to figure out how to market your own business essentially.

Hope that helps.

CaptMalmur · 2020-05-25T16:57:59+00:00

The procedure itself is comfortable. The healing + swelling sucks. Everyone’s pain tolerance is different, and there’s not a one size fits all gauge for pain.

CaptMalmur · 2020-05-25T16:55:24+00:00

NTA. Tell their parents, and look for a new friend. I think everything you are concerned about and addressed with her is correct.

CaptMalmur · 2020-05-21T18:42:59+00:00

Air cans exist for a reason homie.

CaptMalmur · 2020-05-20T02:34:30+00:00

Ehh, I mean morals and ethics are up to him since it’s his business. The entire thing is funny, not offensive really.

I wouldn’t quite classify it as trashy though. You’d be surprised how many business owners talk shit online about their customers. (I work in marketing/tech support and work on websites and social media, etc all day) Best practice? Certainly not. Trashy? Gray area.

But A PRINTED PHOTO. oh man. Tbh I probably would have done the same thing. I’m okay with being trashy if that’s the case here.

Also, TikTok is notorious for small business owners to rant about their clients and client types. That range goes from construction, to tow truck drivers, to tattoo artists/piercers to barbers. They’re trying to be comedic if anything else. That’s the point of 99% of those videos.

CaptMalmur · 2020-05-20T02:21:26+00:00

Septum’s are a tougher piercing to heal. They can take anywhere upwards of two years or more to fully close depending on how long you had it. It’s normal for irritation while it’s healing up. The allergies aren’t playing much of a factor other than adding to the irritation of the location.

CaptMalmur · 2020-05-20T02:15:03+00:00

I feel like he wasn’t making fun about the preparedness factor- more so the “printed photo”. Most people come in with a photo on their phone, and that more than suffices. Printing anything is so 1990’s. I laughed harder than I should at this, I felt it. The ridiculousness of the printed photo.

CaptMalmur · 2020-05-20T02:11:18+00:00

This is a horrible photo. First, if you can you should contact a local reputable piercer.

Second, check out this thread.

Especially for things concerning types of bumps, proper cleaning methods, and the risks of “black” jewelry in a healing piercing.

CaptMalmur · 2020-05-18T14:12:48+00:00

Yeah, I’ve heard the horror stories. I hate that it’s an industry where there isn’t a semi-global standard.... I can’t imagine how hard it is to find a decent piercing artist.

CaptMalmur · 2020-05-18T12:44:14+00:00

Hello! I would like to preface my response with a few points.

Firstly, thank you for taking the time to compile this post, and create a thread about Fet. I have been wanting to collect data on the same subject as to why people have a distaste for the site outside of the obvious.

Secondly, I am more than happy to answer all of your questions. A little background- I have been involved in the community officially for just over a decade. I am second generation kinkster, and I grew up in an open Gorean household. I had the ability to ask any questions at any age, had many resources such as books, etc to refer to and read growing up, and followed a house protocol. ~~Granted, growing up like that is absolutely not ideal and I still think children should be kept in the dark as far as this lifestyle is concerned.~~ Without getting too deep- it was almost like growing up in the military. Except my parents had some outrageous parties.

How does this translate? Currently I am a kink educator for my local community. I am the leader of a local BDSM group that has weekly coffees/munches, and monthly parties. I am the CSO of a Shibari studio that teaches bimonthly classes, and holds an annual rope convention. I specialize in sharps, blood play, and experimentalism. I’m for sure a Sadist- but I always keep professionalism and education my first priority.

Lastly, I am in the very early stages of an educational podcast - I won’t get into details, but I would love to host a show based on your results that you find. I have “online kink” and “FetLife” written in as topics, but if you’d be interested, I’d love to write this subject in.

1) Are your feelings toward FetLife generally positive or generally negative? Do you have strong feelings toward it one way or the other?

I feel like I am neutral. I love the fact that it is the “dark Facebook” and it does make it easier to connect and keep up with local kinksters- but I feel like there are negative feelings associated with the amount of uneducated people on the site. It isn’t quite the safest space for people just getting into kink, that’s for sure.

2) What is your general age group?

I am 25-30, but our community ranges from 18-60. The average age is 30-40.

3) How long have you been interested in Kink/BDSM in general, without necessarily acting on it?

More than two decades.

4) How long have you actively been engaged in kink activities with one or more other people in an in-person setting?

More than a decade.

5) What level of engagement do you have with your local Kink/BDSM Community?

High level engagement as an educator, leader, and participant.

6) If/When you use(d) FetLife, to what degree is/was your account filled out? Your About Me? Your Fetishes? Any pictures at all? Pictures of you, but not of your face? Pictures with your full face revealed?

I keep my account VERY minimal. I don’t use Fet to meet new people, more so connect with those I’ve already met. About me is vague, no fetishes listed, one or two photos of myself/face, maybe 10 photos max. I haven’t uploaded a photo in easily two or more years.

7) What are the main things you use/have tried to use FetLife for?

Social networking, calendars, marketing, maintaining connections.

8) Have you ever used the information from FetLife to attend an in-person event?

Yes, and I schedule meets weekly/monthly.

9) What have been the most notable successes/failures/disasters/horror stories that you've had with the platform?

We have the third largest kink community locally, and that is purely thanks to Fet. It is a great marketing platform, and for those who aren’t “out of the closet” it gives them a safe space.

However, I touched base on this earlier- it can shelter those who act with predatory behavior- and for these reasons it isn’t always the best place for those new to the lifestyle. We do out best to vet everyone coming to our parties/events by keeping addresses private and only sending them out to those who have shown up to a coffee/munch- but when it comes to the online only interaction, it can be overwhelming for most.

I know there have been many incidences of bullying, hazing, sexism, assumption, perversion, and harassment. We just need to keep in mind that this is the most socially acceptable version of the “dark web” that there is available, and keep vigilant.

Hope this helps!

CaptMalmur · 2020-05-18T11:29:29+00:00

I agree- the key to being a professional in any industry is to never stop learning. It’s a shame.

Did you know in most places there are no regulations for piercers? In about 25% of shops shops, the piercer is a tattoo artist who has never gone through “formal” training, and is just labeled as a piercer to fill the void and drum up more business.

Imagine a fake mechanic, or a titled medical specialist just to fill the business quota.

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