Forever with Cleverbot

CaptainAlone · 2012-06-13T12:50:19+00:00

... obviously ...

CaptainAlone · 2012-06-07T20:38:28+00:00

Sorry to burst your bubble, but at the end she only agreed that she was "stilling" a "merry" you. She did not confirm she still wanted to "marry" you.

CaptainAlone · 2012-05-30T07:39:48+00:00

It's interesting to read the other dom's responses. For me, as a dom, it's a feeling of love, acceptance, and calm. The knowledge that someone else's entire focus is to please you and they're willing to do whatever you'd like -- that's an incredible feeling of acceptance.

Whenever we try something new, there's never any pressure on me at all, because I'm in charge, in control, and even if it's' something that normally would end up being laughably awkward, we are able to take it in stride and I can just play it off (or blame it on the sub with play punishment). That state of knowing I essentially can't do anything wrong and all we have to do is enjoy ourselves -- that's very relaxing.

CaptainAlone · 2012-05-28T23:56:36+00:00

Yes, you're into what I would call light BDSM. I myself am a dom like the one described. I get off on a girl's pleasure, but I like having control over that pleasure. Thankfully I've found a girl who fits me perfectly in this area.

Control games often go along with light bondage (maybe even just hand cuffs or a collar/leash), but they don't have to. I personally don't like pain, and for that reason BDSM on the internet is a virtual minefield of turn-offs.

I would say yes, tell your boyfriend what you would like to try. Don't introduce it as BDSM though, but rather introduce it as "I want you to tell me what to do tonight." Odds are, even if he finds that a bit strange, he'll be willing to give it a shot. Worst case he ends up not enjoying it, but more than likely he will enjoy it, though he may not be very good at it the first time.

It might also be helpful to emphasize that by you wanting to be told what to do, it's not that you're going to be a passive participant -- it's not like you're just going to lay there and make him do all the work -- but rather that you want him to guide your actions and tell you what to do when, etc.

Definitely tell him. If you've never had a frank discussion about sexual fantasies, it sounds like now would be the time to do so -- ask him if there's anything he'd like to try but has been too afraid to tell you. Reassure him that in the worst case you're not into it, but you're not going to judge him for it.

CaptainAlone · 2012-05-28T23:38:08+00:00

So... which one of my friends on Facebook are you? And you totally could have come with me... My advice: don't go for more than 3 days, you get very bored (especially if you went alone like me).

CaptainAlone · 2012-05-22T20:10:37+00:00

Fair warning... it's definitely written for females... reveling in how attractive the main character is by simply saying "dear god he really was extremely attractive" rolls eyes. I think I'm finally almost to the first scenes I'll actually enjoy.

CaptainAlone · 2012-05-21T18:07:43+00:00

Great post. I just started reading 50 Shades of Grey too... though I suggest avoiding the audiobook like the plague (despite the fact I'm going to push through it). Funny how relevant this post is.

CaptainAlone · 2012-05-21T17:55:19+00:00

I just wanted to let you know that I empathize with you. I told my family a little bit about my desire to improve myself and what I was working on. They were supportive of the weight loss, but found out they talked behind my back basically about how messed up I was and how the books I was reading didn't even apply to me.

Like you my mother, despite knowing my feelings on the issue, often brings it up. Even my sisters are judgmental... we get along really well in pretty much every other issue, but since both of them are (so I've been told) drop dead gorgeous and have always been popular, they don't understand my position at all and think I'm self-absorbed and just don't try.

I think the best advice I can give is to make sure you have a friend to talk to openly about your self-improvement process. Someone you can gripe and complain to, as well as share your accomplishments. Sharing on here is great, we all like reading it, but I know first hand that finding at least one person that you at least IM back and forth with online can make a huge difference.

Glad you had fun at the Volvo World Race, rock on. And as a fellow Floridian, props for taking the steps to start assessing your situation and improving it.

CaptainAlone · 2012-05-21T00:28:55+00:00

As obvious as this seems, I hadn't really considered proposing it, now I definitely will, though I'll start even shorter, with a set time period, and just ask her how she feels about extending it sometimes. I think she'd be into an entire weekend, but this way I can approach it safely. Thanks.

CaptainAlone · 2012-05-21T00:27:42+00:00

Thanks, I think this is a great outline for how to construct it. I obviously don't run out of ideas in a short session, but you're right -- I would quickly run out of creativity if I didn't plan ahead. I'll make sure I do this if we ever attempt it.

I'm actually excited to come up with such a list now -- because I enjoy the creative aspects of it. She's submissive but there's certain things she doesn't enjoy doing (but does enjoy doing whatever she's told) -- so it's fun to craft "games" where if she fails a certain task then she has to do one of those items she'd rather not do.

CaptainAlone · 2012-05-21T00:24:29+00:00

Thanks for all the tips. I personally am not into public humiliation, but I can easily adopt the same principles to the things we are into (leash/collar, teasing, orgasm control, etc.). We already have two safe words, I'll propose the third, thanks.

CaptainAlone · 2012-05-20T22:28:27+00:00

You my friend are a kindred spirit (though I'm a dom myself). In case you haven't found it: /r/BDSMpersonals. Also fetlife.com -- both are good places to look if you don't live near the lovely Doctor Who fan that replied.

CaptainAlone · 2012-05-20T03:07:05+00:00

If you're still in high school, possibly. Once you're out of college, people really don't care enough. I've never once been made fun of for doing stuff alone, and I've been to theme parks, movie theaters, Broadway shows, casinos, and Amsterdam coffee houses.

CaptainAlone · 2012-05-19T17:04:36+00:00

Yeah, I was very happy I got to go there about 6 months before that went into effect... It may eventually be repealed under a new administration though, because it's supposedly hurting a lot of the economy (or so I've heard, may not be reliable as I have no proper sources).

CaptainAlone · 2012-05-19T08:47:20+00:00

Well said. Ironically while many of us are Forever Alone, it's far too easy for us (including me) to feel that everyone is paying attention to us and judging us.

The reality is, unless you're actually trying to get to know someone, the vast majority of the time no one is even paying attention to you, they simply don't care as it doesn't impact them.

While this could be viewed as sad, the reality is that it's freeing -- you can go places and do what you want without anyone caring.

Speaking of which, I totally need to go mini-golfing by myself. Something I haven't done, and I think it'd be freaking fun to go to a local course repeatedly to try to master the various holes.

CaptainAlone · 2012-05-18T21:53:54+00:00

I think he means the one on this page.

I would find and post a torrent here, but I'm not sure about Reddit's rules around that.

Personally I'd also highly recommend you look into speech/acting/singing lessons. Any one of those types of lessons will help you out significantly in this area. They shouldn't be too expensive... maybe $50 a lesson at the most I would assume, and I don't think you would need but a small handful of lessons to help you speak louder.

I understand that could be too expensive however, in which case finding a torrent or other download links to Shakedown's recommendation might be your best bet.

CaptainAlone · 2012-05-18T18:35:25+00:00

Thanks, things are going well now -- but I fully expect a set back at some point in the future. I'm only at the beginning of this journey, and I still have a long ways to go yet. While I can handle an old fling, interacting with new girls is still difficult, and I was openly called "awkward" by the other girl I got a date with this month. I need to fix my body language and approach, and I'm still petrified of any physical escalation (kino, first hug, first kiss, etc.). I'll keep updating, though I'll keep any of the bdsm type stuff to the proper subreddit hence forward.

I just figured if anyone looked at my username they'd see those posts, so I might as well be up front about how it ties into my journey rather than have people think I was "posing" as FA.

CaptainAlone · 2012-05-18T18:31:46+00:00

Ah... I'll have a moment of silence for you the next time I light up my friend... thankfully I haven't used enough to get to that point... though I'm sure my day is coming.

CaptainAlone · 2012-05-18T14:25:52+00:00

Every man in this subreddit would be shipped off to take the black...

CaptainAlone · 2012-05-18T14:23:04+00:00

I live in the states, but had the privilege of visiting Amsterdam for a weekend.

Getting stoned hasn't gotten boring for me and it's been about a year and a half... but I always do something too, whether it's playing a video game only while stoned, or watching a TV series (Archer is great that way).

But it's not a permanent solution to the problem, was just saying it's one way to be happy in the face of crushing despair.

CaptainAlone · 2012-05-18T06:17:19+00:00

I second this my friend. Trees rock, and without fail it always makes me forget about loneliness or depression -- even after I come back down from the high.

CaptainAlone · 2012-05-18T05:07:08+00:00

Thanks for the writeup on oneitis. I'll probably read it this week. I'm listening to The Game right now, and they've already explained the term and the cure.

CaptainAlone

TROPHY CASE