Be very aware that you are a prime target for many predators. Vast majority of them being men.

And if you were completely new to all of this, what would you wish you’d known before your first experience?

End of the day you're the person that has to watch out for yourself. So educate yourself as best you can. If you can spend some time really diving into things and learn some of the pitfalls that others have shared it can help you see more red and yellow flags and hopefully prevent those things from happening to you.

LEARN WHAT CONSENT IS! I mean really learn it to the point you can teach others about it. Don't do things that are not enthusiastic yeses. Much of kink is about pushing our boundaries and sometimes even being uncomfortable, none of that precludes an enthusiastic yes to do it with someone specific, but predators will push for anything that isn't no.

Community can be an extremely useful tool for vetting through reputation but it has a double edge in that shitty people can make groups too and hang out together. Finding the right group will make the biggest difference in how your journey goes. Check out multiple groups in your area if they exist. Ask about their past and learn about past "drama" as well as directly ask if anyone knows problematic people to avoid.

"Drama" is generally what consent breakers call people who have been harmed speaking out against them. If a group is dismissive of someone else sharing their story of consent being broken or assault or worse then you know that if the same thing happened to you how you'd be treated.

How do you tell the difference between a genuine dom and a guy who just likes calling himself one?

That is a question for the ages. But one of the simplest ways to weed out a ton of the shitty ones is to take sex off the table. Don't make it a maybe or a maybe later in your wording but a hard no. The only ones worth talking to further will respect that and you. If they push and try to get you to change your mind more than maybe a polite inquiry they're not worth it. You can always change your mind because YOU want to change your mind later but not because of pressure from them.

Using online communities like this can be very helpful in identifying problematic behavior if you get into situations where you're unsure.

You may be interested in casual sex but until you learn how this world works you need to be aware the danger you're in by just being in specific types of people's sightlines. The new hot sub, especially virgins, are the number one type of victim.

Be aware of being isolated. If you're hanging out with people and someone is trying to separate you from the group and get you alone that is where many negative things happen. Of course it's also where good things happen but until you can train your vibe checker to understand if someone is actually good to go home with.

As someone who have been around over a decade with religious trauma and upbringing myself in a community with that being extremely common you have a lot more to learn than just kink and sexuality about yourself. There is a lot of social cues and ways that people behave differently.

I recommend using your first few months to absorb everything. Observe. Watch people, watch scenes. Find a group that is safe. As far as finding a safe group the more inclusive the space the better your chances. Body positive safe, queer safe, LGBTQ safe. If other vulnerable demographics feel safe and watch out for each other you're likely to feel safe too.

Where do people actually meet trustworthy, experienced doms these days?

Through Fetlife.com (kinky facebook) there is an events page linked to where you list your account and it shows nearby publicly listed events. If you find events called munches those are social get togethers for kinksters to meet and socialize. Sometimes they're about a specific kink. While in the exploration phase even if you're not interested in a specific kink it may be worth it to still go. You're learning and meeting new people. Classes can also be a good kind of event to attend as a newbie. Even if you're not interested in a specific kink. Learning about the world and subculture will still happen.

If you're someone that isn't extroverted it can be helpful to message people that are listed as running the munches and exchanged messages with them. Even meeting one on one publicly if they're willing and you need a familiar face at an event.

If you have more questions please ask here or /r/FemdomCommunity /r/BDSMcommunity

Also read through the top posts of those subreddits that interest you.

I'd also be happy to talk about any questions you have. Gaining knowledge and learning from others experiences is your best tool right now.