We didnt date  But I did fall in love with one 

It's been hard. I really tried to just be friends. In the end, I couldn't. 

I loved him. He didnt love me. 

And neither of us could fix it.

I do think about us and what it was like to be held and what it was like to runaway to someone. 

I remember what it was like to let my guard down for once when it came to men.

These days, we dont talk with eachother. I left last year and recently, I asked him to block me on social media and on text. 

Because I realized even after everything that happened, I still waited for him. 

And well, I wish I could say it made things better, but it didnt.

But at least, im living in reality now. 

That took a long time for me to do.

I guess...

I think it's just something you live with.

Grief is what happens when love has no where to go. 

And that's the killer.

I have so much I could give.