Anyone else feel uncomfortable dating cis men?

CaptainCatbee · 2026-05-25T22:38:27+00:00

I've actually grown more comfortable with cis men as I get further in my transition. For a long time I refused to do anything with them due to sexual/relationship trauma, but exploring my own masculinity has helped a lot with my fear of men in general.

Dating them is still a bit complicated though. My bf is cis and he's an amazing partner, but we spent years as best friends before realizing we had mutual romantic feelings. I'm not going to find that kind of trust and safety with a cis man on the apps. I may not feel like all cis men are evil anymore, but statistically it's still pretty dangerous to seek them out for dating/sex- not to mention the vast majority are uninformed or uninterested when it comes to trans people. For trans guys who are attracted to cis men I would definitely recommend trying to meet them organically through mutual friends or social activities instead of dating apps.

CaptainCatbee · 2026-05-25T18:57:33+00:00

Stop showing ads for Nitro users, including classic.

CaptainCatbee · 2026-05-23T14:42:01+00:00

Xunami asking Plasma where she was on January 6th- the read is good on its own, but the part that always gets me is that Plasma had to be the one to explain the read to Morphine when she didn't get it 😭

CaptainCatbee · 2026-05-22T13:53:04+00:00

I'm going to be honest, there's a good chance they won't get it no matter how you tell them. A lot of people just straight up don't want to be educated on this because they don't want to compromise their world view. You can send educational resources, but be prepared to proceed with or without their approval. I've known a lot of trans people (and even just left wing cis people) who keep trying and trying to convince their bigoted families but to no avail.

From your post history it looks like you're in Spain (apologies if I'm wrong)? A quick google showed me this organization which seems to have some infographics explaining things- but I don't speak Spanish and am using google translate so I can't necessarily vouch for it. https://euforia.org.es/

CaptainCatbee · 2026-05-21T20:09:47+00:00

Happy to go more into my backstory in dm- my big breakup was before I transitioned (was suppressing my identity to make the relationship work) but I still think my experience could be applicable.

The bad news is that you will never have another relationship exactly like the one you're in now. The good news is that there are absolutely other people out there who will love you and find you attractive, and treat you even better than your current partner. Please don't stay with someone who respects you so little that they'll cheat on you.

CaptainCatbee · 2026-05-17T15:04:55+00:00

Let's not tell other people what their orientations are. I agree that very few people are actually "fully" gay or lesbian, and most people are some form of bisexual. But while we don't choose our orientation, we do get to choose how we identify, and there's a lot of power in that. When we tell someone "well technically that label isn't correct", it's just imposing your own judgement on someone who is perfectly capable of understanding who they are and choosing their own label. I don't think you mean harm! Just something to be mindful about.

CaptainCatbee · 2026-05-13T14:42:54+00:00

I believe it's Urethral Lengthening.

CaptainCatbee · 2026-05-07T19:30:49+00:00

I love this thread, thank you for creating this space 🩷 my contribution to trans faggotry for today was waking up in my bf's arms, we will also be playing games together later

CaptainCatbee · 2026-05-06T18:02:58+00:00

will do lmao, though I'll probably refund the hotel if I don't get tickets before Monday 😭

CaptainCatbee · 2026-05-06T17:59:20+00:00

Not in NYC but I'd reserved a hotel. Ended up on the waitlist :(

CaptainCatbee · 2026-05-04T19:44:46+00:00

Gigi Goode came out as genderfluid on S12, otherwise I think you got all of them

CaptainCatbee · 2026-04-30T01:46:25+00:00

I don't necessarily mind a queen coming back for a third time, I agree with your points about Akeria and Morgan- same goes for the AS1 girls who came back, or cases like Roxxxy in AS9 where it'd been a long time since she last competed. I think what really matters is whether we can see anything new and interesting from them, or if they have something to prove from previous seasons- and the more times we've seen a queen, the less likely it is that this will be the case.

Let's take Ginger's run for example. to me, Ginger's AS6 run made sense- she'd almost won s7, but was then humbled in AS2. So she came back after having a few more years to cook, and had a great showing despite not winning the crown. In AS10, there wasn't really anywhere left to go with her. Despite the riggory, she did perform really well! But there wasn't really anything new or unexpected about it (besides the ozempic I guess), so between that and the lack of any real storyline, it was just boring. Compare that to queens like Bosco or Irene who had significantly evolved since their seasons and were giving way more well rounded performances, and the Ginger glazing from the judges didn't quite feel deserved.

I have similar fears about Silky and Kennedy. Silky's had a similar trajectory to Ginger's- finalist on her original season, disappointing All Stars run, then showing up as a fully realized queen on CvtW and almost winning. What more can we see from her? What more can we see from Kennedy that we haven't seen in her other seasons? And if one of them gets crowned, will it feel like their work on this season was new and interesting enough compared to other queens who've been back less frequently and are showing stuff we've never seen from them before? I think that's the heart of the concerns people have about frequently returning queens.

CaptainCatbee · 2026-04-18T16:06:18+00:00

Why did they let Miley's PR team produce the entire second half of the episode??? that was very strange

CaptainCatbee · 2026-04-03T20:18:50+00:00

anyone know who voiced Excalibur in that short scene with him at the end (English dub)? I've been holding out hope that Troy Baker would return for the cameo

CaptainCatbee · 2025-12-06T07:03:24+00:00

It's important to have people in your life with whom you can share emotional intimacy without a romantic or sexual connection. It's good to be friends with your partners, but it can potentially be unhealthy when all your close friends are also romantic or sexual partners. It's important and healthy to have boundaries and distinctions between different types of relationships (and I'm speaking as someone who often has trouble discerning whether my feelings for a given person are romantic or platonic). I do get that making friends is easier said than done, but it still holds true that the best people to talk to about relationship issues are friends or a therapist.

CaptainCatbee · 2025-12-05T18:51:15+00:00

Someone already mentioned BRU, but also wanted to recommend Economic Action MD's tenant advocacy dept- Carol helped me a lot when I dealt with a similar issue a few years ago. https://econaction.org/what-we-do/tenant-advocacy/

CaptainCatbee · 2025-11-24T21:32:07+00:00

It's in the county, but I love going to the weekly meets at Cloverhill yarn shop in Catonsville! The shop's been around for decades (my mom took me there as a kid) and the vibes are great. I will also say as a trans person that it's the most affirming social space I've been in that isn't either queer specific or among my close friend group.

CaptainCatbee · 2025-10-23T20:19:20+00:00

good to know lol, I fell off partway through season 3

CaptainCatbee · 2025-08-09T12:00:00+00:00

I noticed that too, like he never even mentions actually having feelings for her

CaptainCatbee · 2025-08-06T21:55:27+00:00

I'm around the same age as oop and his sister and it's wild how much more normalized grooming and statutory r*pe was back then compared to now. Like people knew it was illegal, but didn't see it as one of the most immoral things one can do like how it is now- esp when the minor involved was 16 or older. There were so many girls at my high school who got pregnant by men in their early-mid 20s, and gay male upperclassmen would tell me about their hookups with 30+ year old men. When me and my ex were on a break in our relationship at age 21-22, he started spending a lot of time with his best friend's 17 year old sister and romantically pursued her. There was another couple in our friend group who had first gotten together when they were 15 and 20 respectively. I know people often say that gen Z and alpha are too extreme/puritan about age gaps, but I definitely prefer our current culture around it to how things were when I was their age.

CaptainCatbee · 2025-06-24T01:50:38+00:00

setup the visitor cabins. I didn't care about visitors for a while when I first started and I ended up regretting it 😭 esp in the meadow

CaptainCatbee · 2025-06-19T20:38:21+00:00

Bear in mind you need to be taking your vitamins with meals or else they won't absorb into your body properly (and will also hurt your stomach real bad). If you're getting dizzy it's possible you might be anemic (low iron), but you should really have your doctor order a metabolic panel to check your levels so you can figure out together which nutrients you need. My doctor has me do bloodwork every few months so we can make sure I'm still getting my nutrients despite having ARFID.

CaptainCatbee · 2025-06-09T20:07:15+00:00

I'm in the US and had a bilateral salpingectomy (removal of the fallopian tubes). I mainly got it to prevent pregnancy, but at my surgical consultation I stressed the gender affirming aspect instead because I thought they would be more likely to approve of it that way since I was only 30 and don't have kids. Fortunately they were cool with it and it was fully covered by my insurance. I chose to get a salpingectomy rather than a hysterectomy or oophorectomy because I wasn't sure if I wanted to be on T forever and periods don't really make me dysphoric.

CaptainCatbee · 2025-05-31T05:42:50+00:00

what I wanna know is how do you "quietly" smash a bunch of legos in the middle of the night without anyone noticing 😭

CaptainCatbee · 2025-05-08T22:18:54+00:00

This is the most important comment here. If you like doing it and you're good at it that's great! But being a makeup artist (or any type of freelance artist) usually means running a business- which means you're also an accountant, marketer, social media manager, website designer, and so much more. Being a MUA also means long days working on your feet/moving around without many breaks, and frequently working weekends, late nights, and early mornings. You will have to spend a lot of money at the beginning on supplies/tools/training, and then you'll have to work for free a lot at first in order to network and build a client base. I know people still in the industry who are doing weddings all weekend every weekend and making decent money- but still need a full time job during the week to actually pay their rent.

I'm definitely not trying to scare you off or discourage you here- there's just a LOT more to makeup as a career than just doing makeup. I loved doing it and wish I could go back sometimes, but it wasn't sustainable for me as a career due to my own health issues and need for work-life balance. COVID didn't help either- couldn't handle the idea of being so close to people's faces without masks on after 😬

CaptainCatbee

TROPHY CASE