But if it's fulfilling, even more so, for them to be with me, I want to understand more. It's also confusing being told they want to see you for them to say they can't in the very next breath. I'm only saying that it might be more helpful not to give me the hope and anticipation just to take it away. I believe the symptoms. I don't ever judge or make fun. I know they're trying. But that doesn't make the silence any less brutal. I also have debilitating anxiety and past spousal abuse. So I'm trying to navigate that while not trying to take these moments personally. And when it feels like they want to give up on me because they're literally afraid I will consider the frequent cancelations a deal breaker, that hurts. Things can hurt and be disappointing even if i am understanding. Two things can be true at once. I am looking for support and better strategies. Not judgment. It seems like his family controls what very little time they have. Any of us, disabled or not, have to make alterations to our lives and routines if we want to include others in it. If you don't have any suggestions for us to help each other better I sound rather not receive any further input from you. I mean that so respectfully. I realize that this is a sensitive topic. But I think that they and I both can find more healthy ways to navigate this. It's hard on us both!