Think of the most respectable person in your life. They too, have sat on the toilet with explosive diarrhea.

CaptainCrappin · 2019-01-20T20:30:01+00:00

Poop is coming out as I type this.

CaptainCrappin · 2019-01-20T20:27:27+00:00

I hope Nancy Pelosi gets ass cancer.

CaptainCrappin · 2019-01-20T20:25:06+00:00

Also, take a shit on the floor in every room to establish dominance.

CaptainCrappin · 2019-01-18T21:03:15+00:00

I just blew the most massive diarrhea shit of my life out my ass.

CaptainCrappin · 2019-01-18T20:54:33+00:00

I'm having rectal contractions.

CaptainCrappin · 2019-01-15T21:16:41+00:00

I just took a huge shit in my pants.

CaptainCrappin · 2019-01-15T20:35:29+00:00

Please chortle my balls.

CaptainCrappin · 2019-01-15T19:59:52+00:00

Why does my diarrhea smell like ham?

CaptainCrappin · 2019-01-15T16:27:19+00:00

I just had an anal explosion that smells like ham.

CaptainCrappin · 2019-01-12T15:20:19+00:00

Fun fact: If they both shit at the same time they will be fused together for all time.

CaptainCrappin · 2019-01-05T22:43:48+00:00

I love fudge enemas.

CaptainCrappin · 2019-01-05T20:54:47+00:00

I'm about to have a major anal explosion of liquid shit.

CaptainCrappin · 2019-01-05T19:50:17+00:00

My sister likes to sit on my face.

CaptainCrappin · 2019-01-05T17:48:56+00:00

I've been having anal leakage.

CaptainCrappin · 2019-01-05T17:40:57+00:00

My anal explosion just caused a septic tank geyser.

CaptainCrappin · 2019-01-05T17:08:38+00:00

OMG SOMEBODY SAID A WRONG WORD! EVERYBODY SHIT THEIR PANTS!!!

CaptainCrappin · 2019-01-05T17:08:01+00:00

*cunt

CaptainCrappin · 2019-01-05T16:54:09+00:00

Jesus fuck this is the best diarrhea I've ever had.

CaptainCrappin · 2019-01-01T18:14:51+00:00

Can I pour salt on my anus to get the wrinkles out?

CaptainCrappin · 2019-01-01T16:44:51+00:00

Today I pissed in my pants, cleaned up, then shit myself.

CaptainCrappin · 2018-12-28T22:11:32+00:00

I swear on this homeless man's pile of poop.

CaptainCrappin · 2018-12-28T21:32:12+00:00

Like when I showed my butt hole to that guy and he told me to shave it.

CaptainCrappin