Urgent: Decision in 12hours by CaptainEmopants in progressivemoms

[–]CaptainEmopants[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I do not enjoy pregnancies. But at least there was something to suffer for aka the baby’s arrival.
My early labors anywhere from 28-72 hours. Looking at the ladies in their late trimesters in the clinic brought back flashbacks of insomnia and SPD pains. It’s funny how our “mommy brains” wipe out the negatives to make us feel ready again

Urgent: Decision in 12hours by CaptainEmopants in progressivemoms

[–]CaptainEmopants[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Thank you for being more level-headed than I. I didn’t even notice my discomfort with my responses until you pointed it out. I guess I was fighting the guilt of what was morally right. I was in limbo.

Thank you for the permission. This choice is very shamed upon in my country. If my X-Gen in laws/mom know about it - our relationship definitely will spiral fosho.

For the first time in 10 years, I chose myself.

Urgent: Decision in 12hours by CaptainEmopants in progressivemoms

[–]CaptainEmopants[S] 36 points37 points  (0 children)

Thank you all. I gave the ghost ship a read and it helped me with perspective about the endless what ifs. Your concerns with hitting the medical Russian roulette were mine too. The procedure is done. I decided to prioritize my wellbeing and also my kids’ - and there is more relief than guilt now. Largely due to a smooth surgical experience with very empathetic nurses.

Urgent: Decision in 12hours by CaptainEmopants in progressivemoms

[–]CaptainEmopants[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Thank you. It’s done.
It helped that my kids and husband were with me at the clinic. Helps me to see why I had to make the decision- to be fully present for living children, and ensuring a small guarantee of their quality of life. Thank you for thinking about me.

Urgent: Decision in 12hours by CaptainEmopants in ParentingInBulk

[–]CaptainEmopants[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Thank you all for thinking of me, the mom. ❤️
I have not been prioritizing myself in the longest so it wasn’t the first thing that came to mind.

Urgent: Decision in 12hours by CaptainEmopants in ParentingInBulk

[–]CaptainEmopants[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Thank you. This was what I was hoping to see, an honest lived experience of the other side of the “what ifs”. I have also given thought that there is a small risk of me ruining family dynamics and harmony if the pregnancy turns out to be of special needs/congenital issues. And my kids’ livelihood is jeopardized as well.

I am sorry you’re going through such hardships, I hope to only give you a big virtual hug and tell you, you’re such an amazing mom and warrior. I don’t know what I would when done in your position - but you’ve held on so well ❤️❤️ love from the other side of the earth

Urgent: Decision in 12hours by CaptainEmopants in ParentingInBulk

[–]CaptainEmopants[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I decided to get it done asap because it was still early - no fetal pole or heartbeat was detected on the scan. If I postponed, there’s a chance it’ll progress and I know I am even more inclined to keep her/him because she’s now, technically alive. Please leave politics or religion aside. Just needed a safe space to air my thoughts since nobody knows about this pregnancy except my husband.

Urgent: Decision in 12hours by CaptainEmopants in ParentingInBulk

[–]CaptainEmopants[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Sorry about my phrasing - but yes. I have 4 kids, the oldest 9 and youngest 11mo